Please can we get your practical tips on getting back into work

[GeraldineMumsnet]

Hello,

We're going to be adding some new stuff soon about work, childcare and the like. Please can we pick your brains about a few aspects...

1. What advice would you give someone who wants or needs to go back to work after having children, if that someone is feeling out of the loop workwise (ie hasn't has an interview for ages, CV has cobwebs on and the whole job-hunting world seems to have moved online)?

What's the best way to go about dusting off your CV, brushing up your interview skills and generally getting yourself back into job-hunting mode after a break?

1. And if you, personally, went back to your old job after maternity leave, what advice would you give someone about to return to work who might be feeling distinctly anxious about managing the whole parenting-plus-work scenario. What's the crucial stuff to get sorted?

Thanks for reading and thanks in advance for your pearls of wisdom. :)

Hi.
I recently returned to work after 3.5 years at home.
i didn't want to return to what I was doing pre-dc's.
As I wasn't claiming benefits, the job centre wouldn't help/advise me so I made an appointment to see a Next Steps Careers Advisor. They gave me loads and loads of advice on my CV and gave me a booklet with different styles of CV and where ele to find tips etc.
They also gave me loads of advice on what I could do whilst I tried to find a job (i.e. looking into voluntary for experience)

Hi. I'm still a SAHM and I'm doing an OU maths degree as I want to be a teacher, however I had kids straight after A levels and never had a 'proper' job.

I'm not planning on working FT until I am a qualified teacher but due to money, health etc I may have to get some PT work soon.

I am planning on volunteering first via SureStart and local schools, which I'm excited about, but TBH I'm scared about looking for work :( I never made good impressions at interviews and take rejection really badly, and given how competitive the job market is right now I feel like giving up before I've even started :(

Pathetic eh. Sorry that was quite a hijack, anyway I'll be watching this for advice!

Re returning after maternity leave - get childcare sorted early, and you need a fall back plan as well as your main one - what will you do when DCs are ill (note 'when' not 'if'!).

Have a good think about how you will manage household stuff in addition to work and being a mummy - and a good discussion with your DP about it, if you have one. Consider internet food shopping, a cleaner if funds allow or setting up some routines - but be prepared for how tired you will be after working, and doing all the other stuff - there's not much time left for fun!

It's OK to feel crap on your first day back - your life has changed completely but everyone in the office will be just the same and probably won't be very interested in what's happened to you...

1. Voluntary work - get on the committee of the local mother & toddler group, help at a charity shop, set up a local residents' association, PTA, help at Scout Group, meals on wheels etc etc.

ANYTHING to make you look like a motivated self starter.

1. I can't help as I didn't - company had moved away and I took voluntary redundancy whilst on maternity leave. Didn't have a proper job for another 12 years by which time everything in 1. above proved very helpful!

In terms of being out of the job market, I do a fair amount of interviewing and would rather employ someone who was reliable, willing to learn and will work hard so make sure you really think about what the employer wants rather than how the job will suit you - it's OK to ask about flexible working at the end of the interview, but maybe after a decent question about the company or job itself.

Address all the criteria listed in a person specification - I have read stacks of job applications that I can reject straight away as the applicants have given me their life history rather than telling me how their previous experience will help them do the job I am advertising.

Most interviews now seem to have competency based questions - can you tell me about a time when...? - so it's a good idea to think about some potential answers to give in advance of the interview. There are lots of example questions out there on the internet so do some proper preparation in advance of the interview - including why you want to work for the company you are applying for.

HTH

There is a next steps centre which offers learn direct as well. They will give you a really good aid to help with your CV and can check over it for you. Remember there is no room for mistakes on CV's these days and they need to be a maximum of two sides. No one wants an essay.
Definately practice answering commonly asked questions. You can get a book called brilliant answers to interview questions. Or there is loads on the net. Look at employment agency sites, reed.co.uk, monster.co.uk etc etc as they have stuff which may be useful as well.

Try to arrange someone else to do childcare pick-ups/drop-offs for the first week you are back at work

Try on your work outfits and make sure you have tights, shoe polish and accessories. Make sure everything still fits, or invest in some new basics if you are not the shape you were when working before

Do a trial run for drop-off and commuting to leave yourself enough time for emergencies, and have spare nappies and wipes by the door/in the car. If possible, have a couple of days with the baby in childcare before you go back so you can deal with your emotion of leaving them before you also have to deal with work

Arrange to meet with a sympathetic friend (preferably someone who has also come back from maternity) on your first day.

Remember after the first couple of weeks it does get much easier!

Get involved in your community - it helped me get work through informal networking - people finding out I was looking and knowing that I was reliable and well spoken.

Childcare - we had to fly my FIL out from Canada to cover three weeks of childcare while we hired a nanny. It may seem insurmountable, but it's worth trying. Again, hiring our nanny was word of mouth too - I literally asked everyone I could think of and ended up with a brilliant nanny who was a friend of a friend who was the daughter of my old line manager...

Can't answer the first Q as I was only off work for a year, and went back to same employer, but for the second Q:

Try and get flexible working if your job suits. Everyone has the right to ask their employer to consider it. I work 95.5 hours a month, over 3 days, but it does not have to be Xam to Ypm, just needs to add up every month (as long as I am in during "core" hours). This lets me build up credit when DH is at home and can take DS to nursery (his journey to work is much shorter than mine), and use it when he is away.

Try going back part time first if you can.

Get lunches, clothes and bags for you and DC sorted every evening.

Do all your ironing for work clothes in the week at week ends.

Lots of lists - what to do at home, eat for tea, food to buy, do at work. If you have an office job, learn about Outlook task manager and use it, use it, use it.

Set an alarm on mobile phone half an hour and fifteen mins before you have to leave.

Internet shopping for everything!

Slow cooker - overnight for morning porridge, during the day for evening casserole.

Don't be houseproud.

Use your lunch break to get some to yourself.

Get your foot in the door. Once you are in, you can make an impression. I took 5 years out, then contacted my old employer to ask them whether they would be willing to provide me a reference (and kind of hoping they had something for me) - they offered me a maternity leave cover, and two years later I have been made permanent and promoted twice.

With regards to the managing day to day, the most important thing is to make sure your partner, if you have one, takes on half the responsibility for your home and your domestic arrangements. Assign areas of responsibility, and I don't mean you do all the washing and he takes the bins out. And make a plan B for illness and childcare problems.

my top tip for anyone following a lengthy break in employment is to do some voluntary work.

trhey get to dip their toes into the working waters without the pressures of a "real" job.

Plan meals, batch cook at week ends.

I started with a couple of years of voluntary work in a totally new field to my pre children days. This gave me confidence, helped my report writing skills and reminded me how much I enjoyed working.

My first paid work post children was a casual contract in a secondary school - exam invigilating, that extended into admin work and student support work. Then I saw a social services out of hours position that was also on a casual contract which to my amazement I got. I have worked the 2 positions for a couple of years and both offer me flexibility to accept or decline work so have been ideal.

Tomorrow I start my first contracted job, part time and mostly evening and weekend work, but with a pension and opportunities. My youngest dc has severe SEN and I have had to take a flexible approach to work and the unsociable hours suit as dh and I can manage in school holidays etc.

I know it is not going to be easy, and this is not the career path I expected to take when I took my degree but I am realistic to what I can manage and what I can offer.

Am marking my place as I am unexpectedly looking for work ATM

Can only answer second question.

When I went back they agreed to let me trial flexible working. Basically, knowing that at that time (10 yrs ago) my dept wasn't at all into flexible working, I bent over backwards to make sure I didn't impinge on anyone else.

I went for an excellent childminder, who I have only just stopped using after 10 yrs, and this gave me flexibility. It did involve paying her more, in order to retain that flexibility.

After a couple of years I was able to relax, and no longer felt that I had to prove a point.

However you have to let certain things go - I never ever stay after work for drinks, rarely volunteer for extra stuff unless I know I can accomodate it easily, and have decided that the position I am now at will be as far as I go, promotion-wise. You do have to make compromises.

Join a wine club and keep a well stocked rack?

Re point 2.
Create a housekeeping schedule so that it is all done during the week and you don't spend your weekends cleaning the bathroom etc.

Re point 2:
I went back last week after a year's mat leave. It was as grim as I thought it would be. DD already has picked up a stomach bug and a cold after only 2 days. Onwards and upwards. I second lists, batches, online shopping, night-before planning.

I am also trying to focus on the positives...possibly be able to afford a holiday this year, being in work means I spend less money (take packed lunch too), me and DD now cherish my time off and plan to do lovely things together.

I would really recommend doing one of the direct sales jobs first- I know a lot of people say this to make you sign up (I was guilty of it too, but I hve finished it now so I am being honest!) but it really is a great wy bck into work- there are no interviews or set hours, so you can get stuck straight in and prove yourself, and use that record to get another job down the line. Better than going in with a blank cv.

I am a great one for getting everything ready the night before. Clothes, handbag, lunches, school bags, the lot. No matter how disturbed the night, you know exactly what has to be worn by whom by a certain time in the morning - no thought required!

And I would suggest plans C and D for childcare as well a plan B, frankly. In our case plans C and D were NCT class members who lived nearby and worked part time. They said they didn't mind

I am so old I only had 6 months off each time so I can't help with your second question I'm afraid. But when women in my team come back from maternity leave I send them on an update course (we are lawyers) so they know what has changed, and also that they have forgotten less than they feared.

my main advice is that juggling family and work is the job of both parents - not just the mum. it's a whole package (even if you're not with the dad any more) that both parents need to discuss together - agreeing on what you both want for your kids, yourselves, the state of your house, your finances - and then working out the best way both of you can contribute to that.

men can be sah parents/ can work part-time / pick kids up from nursery/childminder/school too.

Viewing the while thing as a team effort is crucial (and is why I very nearly didn't post on this thread - as I get a bit sick of combining parenting and work being seen as a women's issue)

Have childcare in place and backup childcare plan (even if it is just your partner). You have to be happy with the childcare, otherwise you won't be happy at work.

Oh, and if you are seriously looking for a job, be prepared to use childcare. Those mythical school hours term time only jobs pay dirt and have the whole world and their dog clamouring to do it for dirt.

As abgirl says, you have to show how you can fit into the employer's requirements, not the other way round. Always frame the application, whether for a new job or flexible working, in terms of how it works for the employer. Also, bear that in mind in the interview. They don't owe anybody a living.

You can make more demands once you are in the door and proven yourself.

Yeah don't do it

Lol

1. Can't offer much advice as went back after 10 months.

1. Would echo the getting childcare and back up in place- if you can afford to start the child in care a bit early and do a slow settling jn over a couple of weeks and ease back into work gradually that helps. I don't know anyone who didn't have that getting back on a bike feeling of forgetting everything and the thing that seems to help is to get back involved and build up work. A few people I know used their accrued holiday so did a few days a week and build up to full time (this really helps as I felt done in for first couple of months going back to work).

If you have any colleagues or friends who have been through it before and you can talk to (or use mumsnet) as knowing that there ade others who have been through it helps.

1. Internet shopping in your lunch hour. Meal plan. Get stuff ready the night before. Think through all illness scenarios so you're covered --what if you're ill, DC is ill, childminder is ill, etc. Do not underestimate how many bugs your toddler can pick up from childcare, in a year I used pretty much all my annual leave up on caring for a poorly DS1.

I was talking to dh about being a 2 parent ft woh family yesterday. He said he thought the most important thing was really being of the mind that housework/childcare/food shopping etc etc was something that both of you were responsible for.

I think the most important things are prioritising family time at weekends, rembering that No is a complete sentence, and refusing to feel guilty about anything. Pare your (and I mean both parents) life down to your family and work and concentrate on the two and making it all work, and then add in sport/clubs/volunteering/socialising slowly to stop you getting overloaded