Working mothers lambasted again!!

[Missmibaby]

Has anyone seen The Times today? Yet more articles telling us that wokring mothers are bad for their kids development. Isn't it funny how all the examples they use are middle-class women who left well-paid jobs, who are married to husbands with extremely well-paid jobs: bankers, lawyers, media-types. One of the headlines was that a woman didn't go back to work until her children were ten years old. The article then went to explain how she worked from her attic whilst employing full-time nannies! Real world? Not for most of us. I am the main wage-earner in our house. My DP is on £20,000 per year and our mortgage is c.£10,000 per year. What little luxuries would anyone recommend we cut back on if I were to give up work. Beleive me I do nothing but think about my son all day, I would love to be with him. I have another on the way and am trying to think of ways that I can work less. My son has always been cared for by well-chosen loving people. The childcare arrangements have changed very little inhis short life and I think he is a well-balanced, sociable, well-advanced little boy. I think the most important thing that he has in his life is that I love him to bits and I make sure he knows it!! Sorry for the rant I know it's not mumsnet faultbut but these generalisations make me so

I don't think women who stay at home are better or worse than women who go to work. It's how they treat thei kids that matters.

To be fair, it's not the study itself that's "lambasting" WOHMs. I'm sure various bits of the media who want to lambast WOHMs will do so by cherry picking bits of the report out of context. But you can't really blame the researchers for that.

Aha, the study actually explicitly refers to 'care by the mother/father'. So that's that issue dealt with!

Why would anyone be surprised that children would love to be solely cared for by either mother/father?It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with alternatives I certainly wish my mum had been there more instead of being shipped out to various places and left alone when older BUt I do recognise she needed to work

I think that the "problem" with this survey is that way it has been reported. The Observer's headline was that children do best with their mothers. But on reading it, and seeing PL on the news yesterday, it didn't really say that.

Crossed posts with Caligula there.

"The purpose of this research was to examine the short and longer-term effects of childcare on children's development between birth and school entry. The research outcomes considered include health and growth; social and emotional development and cognitive and educational development."

That's from their website. I presume they also wanted to conduct this survey for the purposes of finding out what childcare in general, is suitable for what family circumstances and also to lobby government re policy.

standard oif care is important of course! In Scandinavia acces to nurseries are seen as one of the thngs which can give children an equal start in life. It's an excellent opportunity to include everyone in society and often children from less priviledged background need nurseries more than children from more resources backgrounds. In Scandinavia most women work and their children are in fulltime care. They have much less social problems than the UK and more social mobility. Good nurseries/education for all in combination with family friendly policies is the answer.

in all the papers it refered to mothers

I do think that what struck me, from the survey, was how casual people - women - were about selecting their care. And yes, I think we do need a survey that looks into that.

Funny how men hardly ever select the care, isn't it?

Absolutely.

One more thought from me - how can any research know what one child would be like in a different situation? I mean, what if one child is a miserable git whether at home or at nursery?

Surely as a child is either at home or at nursery, how can anyone compare what he or she would be like in a different situation?

How can they compare jimmy at home with mum and fred at nursery? surely they are all chalk and cheese.

I read the various articles in the Times (online) and I'm surprised that so many here feel that WOTH mothers were lambasted. From what I could see various views were given and it was quite balanced - by this I mean the case studies of the various mothers. Or am I missing something here?

I don't think the results of this survey are that surprising. What I don't understand is all this talk about SAHMs having the financial luxury of being able to do so. The cost of childcare in London is so astronomical that in our experience it was a luxury to return to work - a luxury we could not afford! I researched childcare options thoroughly and was due to return to work, but financially it did not make sense to do so as all my salary would have gone on childcare (even with vouchers etc) plus public transport. So all this talk about "having to work" for financial reasons ... I can understand it if you have cheap childcare in the form of relatives/friends etc, but in our experience it just didn't stand up as a reason if you were looking at nannies, nurseries or childminders as options. In fact, it was a case of having to stay at home for financial reasons (and of course to enjoy dd!).

The Equal Opportunities folks have been having their say wrt to fathers looking after children.

Message withdrawn

Bloss, I never, ever, ever normally read working mums threads as I end getting really really angry. However at this time of night there isn't much choice to lurk .

I basically have to agree with everything you have said. I have worked full-time for over 20 years and my kids are normal, happy well adjusted children/adults!!!!

Sorry just had to say my piece, I will slink out now

Great post Bloss!

Yeah Bloss I'll join you, and then draw a line under it all.
All said and done, what ever anyone says, about anything , I know Lottie is doing really well, I know she's ridiculously happy
I know how much she adores her nursery and how much they adore her, I know how much my mum, dad & sister love having her for me till I get home and how she adores being there, I know we have fab quality weekends with her, and I know that Lottie is a wonderful little girl who makes me very proud and I know that she'll continue to do so. I know I'm doing my best, and my best is good enough. I know that in my world, evryone is a winner and we're all happy. So the reports and the teachers and whoever can say what they want, i know how it is for us, and it's all very, very good.

Thanks Bloss, that was very easy and feels really nice, I've lost that slightly defensive feeling I had (which i didn't need but was there nonetheless), and now just feel very pleased with myself instead

Issymum,

Can I cover you in kisses?

Perhaps a bunch of flowers would be more decorous as a token of utter gratitude for cutting through all this with such clarity.

Thank you issymum, more e-kisses from me.
From the wilful faux-naive stupidity of "lacrimosa" to your insight and intelligence, what a range of contributions on this thread.