Office politics dos and don'ts

[Menagerie]

Any advice from people who work in offices? I'll be doing some work from new year for a new client in house with them and really want to make a good impression. I'm used to working for myself, being my own boss and don't have much experience of working in offices.

Also, was given feedback from the presentation I did in interview, that some of the co-workers didn't think I was quite right, but the bosses did, so that's why I'm on freelance trial rather than full time from the outset.

Any advice on how to make a good, friendly impression?

(I know that sounds a bit pathetic - should be able to work it out for myself - but I've been working alone or with clients I've know for years, for so long that I've sort of forgotten how to get on with new people in a business environment and am quite nervous, especially as I know they weren't keen to begin with!) When I'm nervous I can seem a bit aloof and arrogant apparently. I know I don't always make a good first impression but once the ice is broken, things are fine.

Just want to know what would wind you up and what would make you happy to have a new person working alongside you.

Thanks for any suggestions.

it would annoy me if you came in and expected me to make you tea! I wouldnt mind offering but being expected would annoy - do they have a tea rota?

Other than that Im fairly easy going - perhaps ask it they have a kitty for things that you can chip in to

I always keep myself to myself - depends what level you are at - fairly high Im guessing

Can you set up some (short!) introduction meetings over coffee? Just a 15 minute slot, to let them know who you are but really spend most of the time listening to them tell you about how important they are?

Be pleasant but don't stop for long chats at people's desks - either the person you're talking to might want to get on, or you'll be disturbing someone near them (assuming an open-plan office).

Working out the tea making protocol - that's guaranteed to make or break you in an office! Other than that, it's just common sense. Remember you're the new kid on the block - that doesn't mean you should be the dogsbody or have the crap dumped on you, or be expected to stay late every night, but don't be bolshy or imposing. The 'feedback' you had wasn't entirely helpful IMO - I'd try to forget about it if I was you.

Be a good listener, interested in what they say, rather than talking about yourself a lot.
Take an active listener role initially until you feel the lie of the land and how the office culture and any politics work?

I'm a pain in the arse to work with, so I make the tea several times a day for everyone in the office AND bring the biscuits round.

I like to think this is why I have not been knocked over the head with a box file and buried in the skip yet.

Tips for the first few days:

Don't over-dress or under-dress. Think about what the co-workers were wearing when you were in for interview and mimic. You can smarten up or scruff down later on but the first few days is all about fitting in.

Find out what their kids' / pets' names are as quickly as possible and ask about them every few days. If they don't have children or pets, find out if they have a particular hobby or interest, then ask them about that. If they don't have any hobbies or interests, bring them more tea and biscuits.

Any prickly customers - ask them for help / advice (especially when you don't need it) a couple of times in the first few week. This signals respect for them (you don't actually have to respect them for this to work)

• depends on what 'level' you are going in at too

I think too that the feedback sounds really not helpful. Ignore it and just be yourself. Listening hard seems to be the best advice. Be open minded about how they do things and if anyone feels threatened by you being there (I don't know what the situation is, but comments like: well, we don't do it like that...we've never done that before), just listen to them even harder and don't take anything to heart. You'll settle in and everyone will get to know each other.

Be yourself. Don't try to over-impress, don't talk too much about yourself (to compensate for feeling a bit 'new'). Listen to others, pull your weight.

Aw, thank you. All this is brilliant advice. I agree about listening a lot, not talking about self,not trying to impress and dressing like everyone else for now. Good idea to forget the feedback too. It's all brilliant.

Grumpla - you don't sound like a pita, you made me laugh. And great advice.

Thanks.

Hmm. Thinking about co-workers clothes. They were pretend-scruffy very trendy. I'm porky and older than them so would look like a dork if I mimicked, but I did think at the time of the presentation that I looked like a home counties mum (which I am!) among them and an immediate misfit sartorially, so might crawl off to Style and Beauty forums to get some advice...

Agree about listening a lot and observing quietly at the beginning. Don't be dominant or overbearing in meetings but don't sit there in silence either.
If there's something you don't know, never be afraid to ask.
Observe what others do at lunchtime, i.e. whether they bring in their own, eat sandwiches at desk etc, and follow suit.
Do not come in late or leave early until you have been working there for a long time or you will be seen as a slacker and it'll take a long time to shake it off ... but also don't arrive early and leave late because that will annoy people too.
Don't worry about changing your dress style to fit in, stick with what suits you as long as it is appropriate overall - i.e. don't wear a suit and heels if everyone else is in jeans, and vice versa. I'm also a home counties Mum in a fairly young trendy office and I just stick with what I'm comfy in (I'm lucky that jeans are acceptable where I work).
Enjoy it, you will be fine. I also work with much younger people and I love it and have made some great new friends. It is a relief sometimes not to be constantly talking about dc, although I was really surprised when I first started not to be asked anything about my dc at all!!

It's a flamin' minefield isn't it

I love my (office) job but all these conventions do my head in sometimes!

The tea/coffee situation will make or break it. (And the car park arrangements.)
Bring your own mug, never steal milk and establish it very early on.

Dont be a know it all, ask questions, appear keen to seek advise, as others have said. Offer to make tea.

BRING IN CAKE.

(but don't make it yourself, you will appear smug and they won;t like it. Bring in something tasty but not too posh.

Don't try too hard.
Restrain yourself from making too many suggestions about bright new ways to do things- spend a bit of time assessing the lay of the land before you pile on in. I can imagine that if you normally work for yourself you'll be used to being proactive and thinking of great new ideas, but that could really get up folks' nose. So I would just add to the posters above that in the beginning it's better to smile, look, listen and learn.
Good luck!

Smile. Always be positive.

While I wouldn't recommend complete image overhaul, it might boost your own confidence if you bought yourself some new clothes / got yourself a new 'do.

Make sure you introduce yourself to everyone. This sounds obvious but when my team moved firms a couple of years ago the more reserved types were too shy to do this and got a bit of a rep for being aloof. It was unfair but as you've pointed out shyness can be mistaken for arrogance. You seem really self aware though so am sure you'll be fine.

Worthwhile spending time getting to know admin etc type staff as they usually know all about the politics etc and can help you out in a jam.

Make friends with the boss' secretary.

Take your turn making tea and buy nice cakes (this last bit is very important)

Good luck!

oh yes agree with getting to know admin. And if there is a reception, get to know them too, i find in my job, it always pays to get on with the receptionists!

When you go in on the first day, draw a map of the desks and (privately) write down the names of the people you get introduced to and where they sit.
You'll probably only get their names once and you have lots of them to remember whereas they only one of you to learn. Still, no one likes to feel forgettable and if you use their name correctly the next time you talk to them each on of them will feel like you have paid attention to the most important person in the office!
Also, it's quite helpful when someone tells you to 'ask Dave' if you can stride off purposefully to the right desk rather than looking around vaguely, going, "errmmmm...."

If my experience of working in offices is anything to go by make sure you know if your boss is incompetent, competent or excellent. If the first, find out a) if he/she knows and b) if he/she delegates well. if the answer to these is 'no' then prepare for a rough ride of trying not to perform well in case it makes him/her nervous and vindictive v performing well and taking the flack.

Also I know that in offices, pretty much everyone who smokes will go through a little vindictive cycle just before fag break, so don't say anything to them, take your shoes off under the desk, or look at them in this slot otherwise you will be the bitching subject for the day. (do though, go outside once in a while 'for fresh air' with one of them, and ideally regale them with stories of how you used to smoke - smokers love that shit)

Surprised at how many of you are bought off with cake!

Take your own mug, if there is a "social" seating area beware of sitting in someone else's regular seat, try not to have very strong opinions about politics etc until you get the lay of the land and definitely don't criticise anyone in the office to anyone. Also, if you have to make any sweeping changes investigate carefully who set up these systems in the first place, why and so on so you don't undermine anyone.

To add to Lady's advice, if you work in a big company, they should have an online directory with photos. If you forget names, you can just go down the telephone list of your colleagues and match faces with names. Knowing your colleague's names and nicknames is pretty important.

However, I have never worked in an office where getting the tea run was even remotely near making or breaking a newbie.

Don't arrange lunches the first week or so. Try to be available to go out with new colleagues or at least buy food with them.

cake is definitely the answer to all office woes

I think it depends where or what size of place you work in. There is no tea/coffee making protocol where I work; you get it yourself from a machine or make it yourself - applies to the most junior scientist up to the most senior physician.

I don't think you should worry too much about office culture. Just apply general rules that you would apply anywhere:
Don't gossip
Be civil and friendly to everyone
Don't share secrets
Don't assume that your co-workers actually care about you/your life/children etc - they may be temporarily interested but don't confuse that with caring.
Most importantly.......they aren't your friends!
Be positive but not insincere

Might sound a bit cynical but have been in an office environment for 13 yrs - fed up with it:)

Cake - definetly, but I'd leave it till your first or second week. First day will look exceptionally keen!

I've worked in lots of different offices as a live-in consultant. One of my best tips would be to make time to listen to people/join in conversations when invited, remembering that while it isn't part of your direct work, getting to know your colleagues is very important and later on will help you with your tasks and getting things done.

This may be obvious, but being "seniority blind" making time for the more junior people can help too, their respect will be worth bucketloads.

As most people have said, there's a lot of observing to do and getting the lie of the land. In my current office, I would find it quite strange if someone tried to find out my child's name right away and asked after them every couple of days...but other offices might be different. Again, bringing your own mug in right away could look strange if it's not the done thing- wot our mugs aren't good enough for ya?

It will take a while to get a true feel for the higher-level office politics. Just cherish your newness and that you're not yet involved in it. Just remember that there are usually two sides to every story, and things may not be as they first appear. I find that it can be a bit like a school playbround!!!

And enjoy it!! It is fun to work alongside lots of people, finding out what they're doing and sparking ideas of each other...