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Original poster

Office politics dos and don'ts

73 replies

Menagerie · 15/12/2010 10:30

Any advice from people who work in offices? I'll be doing some work from new year for a new client in house with them and really want to make a good impression. I'm used to working for myself, being my own boss and don't have much experience of working in offices.

Also, was given feedback from the presentation I did in interview, that some of the co-workers didn't think I was quite right, but the bosses did, so that's why I'm on freelance trial rather than full time from the outset.

Any advice on how to make a good, friendly impression?

(I know that sounds a bit pathetic - should be able to work it out for myself - but I've been working alone or with clients I've know for years, for so long that I've sort of forgotten how to get on with new people in a business environment and am quite nervous, especially as I know they weren't keen to begin with!) When I'm nervous I can seem a bit aloof and arrogant apparently. I know I don't always make a good first impression but once the ice is broken, things are fine.

Just want to know what would wind you up and what would make you happy to have a new person working alongside you.

Thanks for any suggestions.

OP posts:
Jynxed · 15/12/2010 22:59

Be very careful not to tell anyone about things you have done, places you have worked or systems that you have used that are better than theirs. You have to be there at least a year until you are entitled to criticise, no matter how justified it is.

A lot of people will tell you crap. Make brief notes, so that you appear to be interested and respectful of their words of wisdom, but really so that in a few months time when you know whats going on you can check who told you shit and who really understands what's going on.

When I changed jobs a few years ago I heard all sorts of things which turned out not to be true. I plucked up the courage to ask one friendly looking guy whether there really was a long-hours culture in the office. Nah, he said, there's hardly anyone here when I get in at 6a.m . . . .

Original poster
Menagerie · 15/12/2010 23:39

Shock Went out for Christmas drinks, came back and there's all this advice on the politics of cups and cakes and small talk.

I know it's mainly common sense and be yourself, but it's really useful to hear form people who've worked in an office environment for ages, and really know what narks people and what is expected.

Thanks. It's feeling a lot more familiar already.

OP posts:
WillowFae · 15/12/2010 23:48

Ah this thread is reminding me of why I HATED working in an office and why I made a career change so that I don't have to!

Good luck in the new job, Menagerie.

Mypombearisveryold · 15/12/2010 23:55

Listen first, get to know the other people you will be working with...a bit before you offer your opinions. Have fun and enjoy it. I always tried to talk to everybody and got to know them a little bit at least, and was surprised at how many people turned up for my leaving drinks and laughs.

TheFarSide · 16/12/2010 00:03

WillowFae I'm with you on that one.

My advice is: be yourself. If you have to adapt too much to fit in, you'll never be happy. If they don't like you, tough.

Obviously this is very poor advice.

RRocks · 16/12/2010 00:58

Agree with Carrie06.

Find out what is the most important thing to your boss, and make sure you deliver on that.

Also, take the opportunity to help colleagues when something is going wrong for them, especially the boss's PA or any of the ones who didn't want you.

Don't sing and whistle - I do, and it drives some people nuts. Grin

Also, being very enthusiastic can sometimes be misinterpreted as trying to do someone/everyone else's job. They don't like that.

I rarely take part in the tea making arrangements because they all drink too much of the stuff and it is too much of an interruption to my work. When I find that I've started accepting offers of tea, I reciprocate for a while. Am probably therefore regarded as a funny bugger, which is fine; the rest of them are funny buggers too. Smile

Just be yourself; you will fit in slowly and that will be fine.

RRocks

AlpinePony · 16/12/2010 07:21

I agree wholeheartedly with carried - I'm confused as to why the politics with tea/coffee/cake etc. You're not airline stewardesses! Confused

Be yourself, it's work, it's not personal, it's only a job. Be nice to people who are usually overlooked e.g., cleaners, receptionists, secretaries, maintenance men - these people know everything and if you're nice to them you'll find they'll grease wheels for you or point you in the right direction of someone who can.

Don't get in to the whole "socialising" thing - honestly, nobody gives a fuck. You want to be known as "the woman who did a really good job on x", not "oh she was such a larf... do you remember when she showed the MD her knickers?" - Woman B does not get promoted.

Leave your hormones and personal life at home.

cloelia · 16/12/2010 08:56

This is really obvious but ... don't spend any "empty" time making those important personal phone calls ... (i know what it's like, you really need to phone x y z and it's easier to do it now ... but it will be noticed!). Don't bring personal photos in at the beginning either; but an interesting plant or something curious on your desk can help people chat to you. Have fun!

Original poster
Menagerie · 16/12/2010 09:00

LOL at Alpine's woman B and RRocks' whistling.

Easy on the socialising is good advice. I'll have a commute and would far rather spend evenings with the kids than in wine bars any day. It is only a job, but I know I perform better in a friendly atmosphere. Hostility and bitchiness makes me clam up totally.

Willow - I'm with you there - I've naturally veered away from office work all my life, and even when I worked for a company I loved for 5 years, as soon as I went into the office I could hardly speak to people who I was on really good terms with outside office hours. Office politics definitely don't come naturally to me. But the work they've offered does and I'm looking forward to that.

OP posts:
jaabaar · 16/12/2010 09:09

You are the new one, do not go into work giving impression you know all better than people who are working there for years.

Being a good listener is the best policy till you get a feel for the place.

Agree 110% with Carrie06.

Penelope1980 · 16/12/2010 09:13

Be careful of the person who befriends you in the first week and has all the hot gossip about everyone. There seems to be that person in most places I've worked, and they can turn out to be trouble. Also, if you're going to be friends with someone at work, it will happen without trying - no amount of trying to talk at the photocopier or making an effort to go to work drinks will force genuine friendship where it's not meant to be. And no matter how lovely you are, the type of person most people really want to be in their team is competent

abgirl · 16/12/2010 10:35

Also (as a long suffering managerGrin) get good at your new job before you start avidly scanning the internal vacancies or looking for your next career move. I do want my people to develop but I have to deliver on my and the department's objectives as well and it's quite annoying to go through a lengthy recruitment process for the individual concerned to start looking for something better as soon as they've got their feet under the desk!

There's a great book called 'The Rules of Work' which is funny and rings true in a lot of places. Definitely one to read for anyone who works in an office.

jardy · 16/12/2010 10:44

Great thread,brilliant advice.Anyone who wants to bring their own coffee cup I would avoid.
I love Penelope10980s advice about friendship will happen without trying and also doing the best you can do,while also been human.It is interesting been in an office because some people will cry and cry over such small things.Me I only cry over the really big things,also people always giving each other a hug,I feel uncomfortable with this.I am very friendly but I only hug my kids,and my dh when he is in the mood to hug me but even then I have to initiate it and he looks alarmed and says whats up?Smile

maktaitai · 16/12/2010 10:51

Don't do or say much except smile on the first day. You can't become popular on the first day but you can be memorable for the wrong reasons unfortunately.

Don't bitch, moan or be negative - it may seem like a royal road to popularity if everyone else is doing it, but just wait til the bitchtide is ebbing, offer to make tea and turn the conversation to something pleasant. Never be caught out making a negative remark about anyone at work - if you have to vent, do it to your family, but better still actually train your mind to see the best of people at work - decide what's positive about them and associate that with them - e.g. the boring old toad at the next desk smells and always goes on about his dog - NO: he's a dog lover and a stable personality who always picks up your messages and covers for you when the boss is on the rampage. HTH.

ChoChoSan · 16/12/2010 11:00

Do not get drawn into any bitchy/gossipy circles, and don't listen to others who do this.

Often people love hanging around the office gossip/bitch because it's entertaining, and they find out what is going on, BUT...it's not about popularity...they still see them as a gossip and a bitch!

Bosses tend to know who they can trust on their staff...they are not daft, and having a reputation for keeping your own counsel is a very valuable commodity, IME.

Suncottage · 16/12/2010 11:20

Yep, leave your problems, moods, hormones etc at home and be nice to the people 'below' you. Many of them will have been there for a while they will know the company backwards and have more clout than you imagine.

AlpinePony · 16/12/2010 11:25

jardy Thank your lucky stars you don't work in Europe - where your colleagues KISS you! Shock In some countries on a daily basis, morning and after lunch!

After 10 years they've accepted that from me they'll get a firm handshake!

jardy · 16/12/2010 11:46

aw I bet they love your novelty value!Xmas Smile

Original poster
Menagerie · 16/12/2010 12:05

LOL Alpine!

OP posts:
superv1xen · 16/12/2010 12:15

this thread has reminded me why i HATE working in offices.

Patsy99 · 16/12/2010 14:01

Be friendly but not too friendly.

Alpine - a Spanish colleague kissed me at the start of a meeting recently. I was so surprised I completely fumbled it, v embarrassing.

AlpinePony · 16/12/2010 14:11

Don't even get me started on one kiss vs. two kisses vs. three kisses depending on the region! Shock Handshake or snog, no messing in between please!

PostingID · 16/12/2010 14:32

Don't cook kippers or anything else equally as smelly for your lunch! Xmas Wink

oranges · 16/12/2010 15:18

totally disagree on bringing in cakes, especially if you are a home counties mum in a young trendy office. It will just reinforce the mum image, when you want to come across as professional. Ditto tea. Offer to buy people a coffee if you pop out for one, but don't get hung up on tea making too early.

bessie26 · 16/12/2010 15:58

The whole cake/tea thing, by the sounds of it, the rules can vary from office to office, so perhaps wait & see what the norm is first? (I make my own tea in my own mug & only take in cakes on my birthday!)

Don't take anything stinky in for lunch.

Don't butt into conversations you weren't invited into.

Don't spend hours every day making personal calls or surfing the web.

Don't try to over-impress or over-dress.

If you've got nothing to do - ask if there's anything you can do to help.

Find out if you should answer your neighbours phones or leave them to goto voicemail.

Be extra nice to the support staff (receptionists/admin/cleaners/IT)

Don't gossip or bitch.

Don't be afraid to ask for advice (even if you don't need it), as it will make people think you value their opinion.

Have some small-talk prepped up for people you meet at the tea point/printer to avoid any awkward silence - I disagree with someone's suggestion of finding out kids names as quickly as possible & asking about them alot - I would think you were just being nosey!

at the thought of kissing & hugging colleagues in the office!