Stood up to Sexist Remark [proud of my self emoticon]

[tabouleh]

I am on a Committee for the regional society for my profession.

There is an annual dinner, at said annual dinner the President gives a speech.

He started his speech with a "joke":

"don't worry my speech is going to be like a ladies skirt - short enough to be interesting but long enough to cover the subject matter"

Well,I was furious. There were lots more men in the room than women. My DH agreed that is was a) a crap joke and b) very inappropriate in this setting.

Well we had our committee meeting last week and I had been stewing over what to day/whether to say anything.

So at a formal meeting ~ 15 men round the table, me and 2 other women I went for it.

I basicaly said that in 2010 I found it wholly inappropriate that such a sexist remark be made in an official capacity and whilst I "knew" the president supported women in our profession/on our committee/indeed works with his wife in said profession, I needed to explain that language shapes attitides etc.

I found it very difficult and awkward but I did it (there was other feedback good and bad re the dinner etc).

The president sort of blustered away, muttered and spluttered a bit and started to say "good job you didn't here some of my other jokes I know such as" and then he got very strongly shouted down by other men at the meeting.

Lots of other men were nodding in agreement with me and several said "yes that was noted at our table".

I am really proud of myself and I want to thank the other feminist MNers because if it wasn't for all the debates/links/books etc I have recently discovered I would probably have shrugged it off.

I was also inspired by this blog - "Sop sexist Remarks - Changing One Coversation at a time". I have linked to it before but am doing so again in case it inspires anyone else.

WELL DONE!!!

Oh, well done. That must have been hard.

Congratulations and thank you.

Blimey well done!

You are very brave and brilliant. I wouldn' have had the guts to do that, I'm sure.

• thanks for all the supportive comments!

Oh just remembered there is some more to the story!

Afterwards I asked one of the male committee members (who was my ex-boss) what he thought and he said that he hadn't remembered the joke but I was entitled to give feedback on anything etc. Well then we got onto my current favourite topic (i.e. Feminism) amd I chewed his ear off a bit about it and talked a bit about quotas etc - which he is against surprise surprise.

They he went on to say something very illuminating and TBH if I didn't still socialise with my ex-boss/get on with his so well this wouldn't have come to light so it's pretty interesting.

He said - well when we recruited you - you were the best person for the job by miles - BUT - he said others in the company said - " oh are you sure you want a women/ very male dominated industry/might upset the balance of your team"!

OMG - I said well - thanks X - you have just proved the point to me as to why there should be quotas! Because not only did I have to be the best for the job but I had to be the best by miles and then people questioned his decision because I am female!

Then I recounted whole committee meeting thing to my parents and my Dad said "well that will be your employment chances buggered for the next 50 years" - despite the fact I am self-employed and they aren't my clients .

Anyway my Mum is really really not "into" Feminism but she was outraged for me and said to my Dad - well I think you've proved tabouleh's point to me - because if you think that is what men might think then all the more reason to fight for equality etc .

bloody well done

Excellent!!...good for you!!!

Well done. Have made a note of the blog in your link too, will read later.

tabouleh, well done!

Good for you. It is very hard to do this in public with an audience without being cast in the role of the hysterical lesbian... I have challenged people in smaller groups and on line, but never in front of large group like that. Well done.

I hope I have the guts to do that one day too. You're right that reading the feminism threads here and blogs and books helps you gain the confidence too.

Hats off to you.

Bloody well done that woman!

Well done tabouleh!

Well done! Great that you had time to think about it too. I always think of good ripostes days after ridiculous comments at work! And I get a lot of them at work being pg.

I was doing training at work last week and there was this really old school bloke who really wasn't getting it and kept making snide comments at me. I had to remind his groups to take breaks during the group work, saying they had to manage their time and their breaks as if they didn't take breaks they would work efficiently.

He said to me 'so I suppose when you are 8 hours into your labour you're going to stop for a tea break are you?' I was as there was no need to bring that into the conversation at all, very personal. I couldn't think of anything witty to say so I just said flippantly 'well my last labour was ony 5 hours so I hope to pop this one out in 2, won't be an issue'. Wish I could have thought of something better to say, I should have started going into gory detail shouldn't I? Seeing as he started it...

WOOOO! Congratulations on being Really Brave and Really Right! I'm delighted your colleagues backed you up, this is by far the best way to stop a toxic culture of sexism/old-boy-ism, but it's scary and - wow, I'm so impressed you upped and did it so publicly! Kudos!

Hoooorrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! That's excellent. Thank you, and let's hope for every one person who says something like that, ten more get inspired to stand up for what's right next time!

tabouleh, there must be something in the air: on Saturday I challenged a friend (who I hate disagreeing with) in the company of other friends (ditto) about their conversation on how 'Ms' was a silly concept and nobody knew how to pronounce it. I briefly explained why I thought it was a helpful concept and an easy-to-say word. For me, this was brave, and I take my hat off to you for doing something braver and in a difficult context. I am also more sharpened to this sort of thing thanks to MN and am bookmarking your link.

You are BRAVE. Well done!

This is great! Well done Tabouleh!

lovin' it