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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

I hope you will be proud of me..

163 replies

namechange62 · 30/08/2026 18:02

I'm not very educated, married to a good man, live a quiet life in a small village in the south west, have good relationships with males in my family who are good men. (Grand/Father, uncles, sons, son in law) and have strong women in my life (mother, daughter daughter's in law, nieces etc).
Just setting the scene really..

Well it all kicked off this afternoon at my house. (When I say kicked off I mean a quick argument lasting about half an hour! Not EastEnders worthy..)

I have to say I had a few. Not many because I don't really drink but ..

Somehow it was bought up about Gen Z being offended about something that my kids/and partners grew up with (ages 29-36…). A sketch in Little Britain. Somehow the conversation turned to trans stuff and eventually turned to transwomen.

Anyway I bought up the case of transwomen playing in the (WNBA? ) basketball and how some men are pretending to be women to join. Showing solidarity with the woman having to play with 6ft 10in transwomen? I've probably got details wrong but hopefully you can understand?

Well it got heated.
SIL Sort of agreed but said it's rare. I said even one transwomen taking a female space is one too many. I talked about transwomen in female toilets. How do we know who the 'safe' ones are. It got on to male violence v female violence.

My Dil who works with victims of DV agreed and was quoting statistics about calls to DV helplines rising during the world cup.

My son got very heated and did the usual whataboutery. But what about women who do the same?! Trans men in male sports? Transmen who use mens toilets/changing rooms.

I said it's very rare but he continued to get riled when I started spouting some stuff I'd read on MN.
Mediocre men who fail in mens teams taking places from women, men invading women's spaces for fetish reasons. I said do you ever enter the toilets thinking whether you are safe? (Surprise that he didn't even know what I meant? And surprised when I told him I did!). His GF then agreed with me. I said you have no skin in this game (males taking female places in sport, jobs and prizes) and never will!
He got heated and continued with the whataboutery but I held my ground.

Told him about the transwomen who invade female changing rooms (I encountered one myself) and how would he feel if his grandma had to deal with a semi naked man who was getting kicks by humiliatingly women.

SiL got it and eventually DS got it too. These are normal hardworking men.
Anyway we left it at that but both of them said they didn't know half of what I'd said.

I read a lot on this thread on MN and want to say thank you for educating me. I can't help many people to understand but I think I got 2 men today to think a bit more about it.

OP posts:
Wowthatwasabigstep · Yesterday 11:51

TransParentlyAnnoyed · Yesterday 11:32

Trans women are women. They live, work, are sexually harassed and experience vulnerability to cis male violence exactly as did women do.

Trans women using public toilets - completely open spaces containing cubicles, which anyone can walk into - does not endanger us. Predatory cis men do.

Encouraging hate against a minority, and denying who they are, has never made us safe.

If chat forums like this had existed in the 1980s/90s, do you know who would have been the focus?

Gay men.

I grew up with that. How gay men should not be allowed to use public toilets because they were all fetishists who only used them for sex, to watch straight men or commit rape there. Because being gay wasn't real. Gay men were created by abuse, reading about being gay, and/or not being patented properly. Not being allowed to be masculine by mum's who wanted a girl instead. Being gay was called a lifestyle choice. Opinion colunmists argued there was no scientific basis for gay sexuality - it was all a choice and a perversion. Harmful to children. Sound familiar?

Transphobia is the recycled, vile homophobia which destroyed so many young gay lives. And a fair amount is recycled racism as well - notably the bits about inherently aggression.

While hypersexuality is a trope recycled from racism, homophobia - and porn.

Telling women that they'll be safe going into public toilets once trans women are banned, because cis men observe a fictional social contract not to enter, is both insulting and dangerous.

Most cis men don't go into the Ladies because there are no urinals, the queues are longer and they don't want to. Not because they are noble.

But the predatory cis men who have always gone in, can now claim to be trans guys if challenged.

They not only went in when they wanted (to hide in cubicles and wait for a woman to be alone) before, they now have an excuse if caught.

Well done the anti-trans movement. Forever parroting the myths of the far right which claim Strong Men are the answer.

Men attack us in public and nothing is done. They attack us on buses, in the street, in our homes, at work, in pubs - often in front of witnesses. The idea they'd go to all the effort of transitioning so as to use public toilets is laughable, and a male idea of what sexual violence actual is.

Most men have no real clue what it's like to live with the constant threat of sexual violence. Trans women do - because they're targeted by them as well.

Men like to imagine that women have sanctuaries and safe spaces (granted by them, because they're so noble) because they don't want to hear the brutal reality of how women live. We will see absolutely no progress until that is addressed.

No, no and no again.

Sometimes we just have to keep repeating it for you until that penny drops.

6ate9 · Yesterday 11:52

Wowthatwasabigstep · Yesterday 11:51

No, no and no again.

Sometimes we just have to keep repeating it for you until that penny drops.

I know, do they think the more they say it, it will become true!!

6ate9 · Yesterday 12:06

@TransParentlyAnnoyed “Most men have no real clue what it's like to live with the constant threat of sexual violence. Trans women do - because they're targeted by them as well.”

What about women?

Women have the constant threat of sexual violence from transwomen, because they are MEN!!

6ate9 · Yesterday 12:13

@TransParentlyAnnoyed “Encouraging hate against a minority, and denying who they are, has never made us safe.”

They are not a minority as they are men, so make up roughly 50% of the population.

RedToothBrush · Yesterday 12:27

TransParentlyAnnoyed · Yesterday 11:32

Trans women are women. They live, work, are sexually harassed and experience vulnerability to cis male violence exactly as did women do.

Trans women using public toilets - completely open spaces containing cubicles, which anyone can walk into - does not endanger us. Predatory cis men do.

Encouraging hate against a minority, and denying who they are, has never made us safe.

If chat forums like this had existed in the 1980s/90s, do you know who would have been the focus?

Gay men.

I grew up with that. How gay men should not be allowed to use public toilets because they were all fetishists who only used them for sex, to watch straight men or commit rape there. Because being gay wasn't real. Gay men were created by abuse, reading about being gay, and/or not being patented properly. Not being allowed to be masculine by mum's who wanted a girl instead. Being gay was called a lifestyle choice. Opinion colunmists argued there was no scientific basis for gay sexuality - it was all a choice and a perversion. Harmful to children. Sound familiar?

Transphobia is the recycled, vile homophobia which destroyed so many young gay lives. And a fair amount is recycled racism as well - notably the bits about inherently aggression.

While hypersexuality is a trope recycled from racism, homophobia - and porn.

Telling women that they'll be safe going into public toilets once trans women are banned, because cis men observe a fictional social contract not to enter, is both insulting and dangerous.

Most cis men don't go into the Ladies because there are no urinals, the queues are longer and they don't want to. Not because they are noble.

But the predatory cis men who have always gone in, can now claim to be trans guys if challenged.

They not only went in when they wanted (to hide in cubicles and wait for a woman to be alone) before, they now have an excuse if caught.

Well done the anti-trans movement. Forever parroting the myths of the far right which claim Strong Men are the answer.

Men attack us in public and nothing is done. They attack us on buses, in the street, in our homes, at work, in pubs - often in front of witnesses. The idea they'd go to all the effort of transitioning so as to use public toilets is laughable, and a male idea of what sexual violence actual is.

Most men have no real clue what it's like to live with the constant threat of sexual violence. Trans women do - because they're targeted by them as well.

Men like to imagine that women have sanctuaries and safe spaces (granted by them, because they're so noble) because they don't want to hear the brutal reality of how women live. We will see absolutely no progress until that is addressed.

Every word.

A lie.

A lie that stems from saying you can change sex.

You can not.

6ate9 · Yesterday 12:29

RedToothBrush · Yesterday 12:27

Every word.

A lie.

A lie that stems from saying you can change sex.

You can not.

Edited

I don’t even think @TransParentlyAnnoyed believes this!!

akkakk · Yesterday 12:30

2021x · 31/08/2026 00:16

I have been trying to get my head around the what aboutery i.e. transmen vs transwomen.

The best point I can make is that males - including transwomen- are responsible for most of the violence towards women, whereas women- including transmen are not responsible for the violence towards men... therefore, you cannot apply the same rules. Therefore, males do not feel threatened by a woman coming into a single-sex male space in the way that women feel threatened by a male coming into a female single-sex space.

The only way forward is to have a space for female non-trans men, and the rest can all share another one.

Therefore, males do not feel threatened by a woman coming into a single-sex male space in the way that women feel threatened by a male coming into a female single-sex space.

I would agree that it is not the same - but let's also be clear - men do not want women in their spaces either. Having a woman alone with a man in the gents leaves the man vulnerable to accusation and assumption - not acceptable.

The only way forward is to have a space for female non-trans men, and the rest can all share another one.

No idea what is meant by a female non-trans man.
a man is a man and can never be female - whether they self-apply the fake label of 'trans' or not.

6ate9 · Yesterday 12:33

Richard Dawkins summed it up perfectly!

"A man is a man. A woman is a woman. You can't change your sex."

NotAtMyAge · Yesterday 13:48

TransParentlyAnnoyed · Yesterday 11:32

Trans women are women. They live, work, are sexually harassed and experience vulnerability to cis male violence exactly as did women do.

Trans women using public toilets - completely open spaces containing cubicles, which anyone can walk into - does not endanger us. Predatory cis men do.

Encouraging hate against a minority, and denying who they are, has never made us safe.

If chat forums like this had existed in the 1980s/90s, do you know who would have been the focus?

Gay men.

I grew up with that. How gay men should not be allowed to use public toilets because they were all fetishists who only used them for sex, to watch straight men or commit rape there. Because being gay wasn't real. Gay men were created by abuse, reading about being gay, and/or not being patented properly. Not being allowed to be masculine by mum's who wanted a girl instead. Being gay was called a lifestyle choice. Opinion colunmists argued there was no scientific basis for gay sexuality - it was all a choice and a perversion. Harmful to children. Sound familiar?

Transphobia is the recycled, vile homophobia which destroyed so many young gay lives. And a fair amount is recycled racism as well - notably the bits about inherently aggression.

While hypersexuality is a trope recycled from racism, homophobia - and porn.

Telling women that they'll be safe going into public toilets once trans women are banned, because cis men observe a fictional social contract not to enter, is both insulting and dangerous.

Most cis men don't go into the Ladies because there are no urinals, the queues are longer and they don't want to. Not because they are noble.

But the predatory cis men who have always gone in, can now claim to be trans guys if challenged.

They not only went in when they wanted (to hide in cubicles and wait for a woman to be alone) before, they now have an excuse if caught.

Well done the anti-trans movement. Forever parroting the myths of the far right which claim Strong Men are the answer.

Men attack us in public and nothing is done. They attack us on buses, in the street, in our homes, at work, in pubs - often in front of witnesses. The idea they'd go to all the effort of transitioning so as to use public toilets is laughable, and a male idea of what sexual violence actual is.

Most men have no real clue what it's like to live with the constant threat of sexual violence. Trans women do - because they're targeted by them as well.

Men like to imagine that women have sanctuaries and safe spaces (granted by them, because they're so noble) because they don't want to hear the brutal reality of how women live. We will see absolutely no progress until that is addressed.

@TransParentlyAnnoyed

"Transwomen" are men who wish they were women but never can be, because sex is immutable. Very sad for them but not women's problem. The idea that they all pass well enough to be the target of male sexual harassment in the way that women are is risible.

There are three main reasons why so many women prefer and indeed need single-sex spaces - privacy, dignity and safety. Privacy and dignity away from the other sex when vulnerable or undressed is a deeply felt psychological need for many, if not all, and a religious requirement for observant Jewish and Muslim women. Safety really shouldn't need to be explained to you, but here goes. Women are overwhelmingly the victims of male sexual aggression and violence. Ministry of Justice statistics show that trans-identifying men unfortunately don't leave that tendency behind when they identify as women. That alone should be argument enough for excluding them from our single-sex spaces, services and sports.

6ate9 · Yesterday 13:55

NotAtMyAge · Yesterday 13:48

@TransParentlyAnnoyed

"Transwomen" are men who wish they were women but never can be, because sex is immutable. Very sad for them but not women's problem. The idea that they all pass well enough to be the target of male sexual harassment in the way that women are is risible.

There are three main reasons why so many women prefer and indeed need single-sex spaces - privacy, dignity and safety. Privacy and dignity away from the other sex when vulnerable or undressed is a deeply felt psychological need for many, if not all, and a religious requirement for observant Jewish and Muslim women. Safety really shouldn't need to be explained to you, but here goes. Women are overwhelmingly the victims of male sexual aggression and violence. Ministry of Justice statistics show that trans-identifying men unfortunately don't leave that tendency behind when they identify as women. That alone should be argument enough for excluding them from our single-sex spaces, services and sports.

This!

“When you throw open the doors of bathrooms and changing rooms to any man who believes or feels he’s a woman... then you open the door to any and all men who wish to come inside."

J.K. Rowling

Lins77 · Yesterday 13:57

Transwomen may get harassed, but it's not "exactly as women do". They may get harassed for being trans, which of course shouldn't happen either, but it will rarely be because people think they are actually women.

Wowthatwasabigstep · Yesterday 14:00

@TransParentlyAnnoyed

I shall help you out rather than go through and unpick each nonsensical sentence.

Women are female, we have ovaries, breasts and a uterus which some but not all, grow children in. Some have various parts removed over the course of their life to improve their life in the case of a hideous periods or to save their life in the case of cancer. They remain women after parts have been removed because sex is defined by chromosomes and doesn’t change. A lot of us also have rather large brains which we use to think about things.

Men have testicles and a penis, they can’t grow children but are jolly useful in the sperm department. Lots of women fancy the pants of men, some like myself are sexually attracted to other women and some find that both men and women float their boat.

Most men are jolly nice chaps but some are not and want to take over the women’s spaces and lives because they are very angry with the world and have a sexual fetish. These men think that if they say they are women their mighty penis makes everybody believe their nonsense. To be fair to them some women do believe, it is a cult and these women are known as handmaidens and are generally very keen to please the mighty men, even when the mighty men are dressed in hideous dresses and some badly applied makeup. The majority of women laugh at the nonsense and question such stupidity, see earlier reference to the big brains.

All of this came about because of a right wing religious American ideology that instead of ‘praying the gay away’ they could ‘medicalises the gay away’ children who thought they were gay could be ‘switched’ into the opposite sex and then they were no longer gay or lesbian with numerous therapists, physicians and large pharmaceutical companies generating huge wealth and a client list for decades. All on the back of children going though a normal process of discovering who they were but instead they were offered life altering hormones, mutilating surgeries and years of mental illness.

The upside to this terrifying period
in history is that the tide has turned and fabulous people like JK Rowling, Posie Parker, Maya Forstater and Graham Linehan are standing up and holding the deluded to account.

PollyNomial · Yesterday 14:08

SadSadTimes · 31/08/2026 14:25

OP: (apart from acknowledging that I got a bit wrong) .

This feels like saying the unsayable, but did you though? Get it wrong, I mean. I thought Brittney Griner, WNBA was male from the first time I saw him. Nobody whispered in my ear, I just saw a man. People kept saying he was born female so I was very puzzled. Then I saw online a video taken by his friend with him at a pool. Trunks, no top, very very male.

For what it's worth, the Russians held him in the men's prison.

For what it's worth, you're wrong: https://www.reuters.com/lifestyle/sports/exclusive-brittney-griner-taken-penal-colony-russias-mordovia-region-source-2022-11-17/

6ate9 · Yesterday 14:25

Wowthatwasabigstep · Yesterday 14:00

@TransParentlyAnnoyed

I shall help you out rather than go through and unpick each nonsensical sentence.

Women are female, we have ovaries, breasts and a uterus which some but not all, grow children in. Some have various parts removed over the course of their life to improve their life in the case of a hideous periods or to save their life in the case of cancer. They remain women after parts have been removed because sex is defined by chromosomes and doesn’t change. A lot of us also have rather large brains which we use to think about things.

Men have testicles and a penis, they can’t grow children but are jolly useful in the sperm department. Lots of women fancy the pants of men, some like myself are sexually attracted to other women and some find that both men and women float their boat.

Most men are jolly nice chaps but some are not and want to take over the women’s spaces and lives because they are very angry with the world and have a sexual fetish. These men think that if they say they are women their mighty penis makes everybody believe their nonsense. To be fair to them some women do believe, it is a cult and these women are known as handmaidens and are generally very keen to please the mighty men, even when the mighty men are dressed in hideous dresses and some badly applied makeup. The majority of women laugh at the nonsense and question such stupidity, see earlier reference to the big brains.

All of this came about because of a right wing religious American ideology that instead of ‘praying the gay away’ they could ‘medicalises the gay away’ children who thought they were gay could be ‘switched’ into the opposite sex and then they were no longer gay or lesbian with numerous therapists, physicians and large pharmaceutical companies generating huge wealth and a client list for decades. All on the back of children going though a normal process of discovering who they were but instead they were offered life altering hormones, mutilating surgeries and years of mental illness.

The upside to this terrifying period
in history is that the tide has turned and fabulous people like JK Rowling, Posie Parker, Maya Forstater and Graham Linehan are standing up and holding the deluded to account.

Do the deluded even believe it? I know there are some men (India W) who think they’re biological women (with a cervix) but they can’t really believe that. India W should take a DNA test if he’s that deluded!

murasaki · Yesterday 14:31

6ate9 · Yesterday 14:25

Do the deluded even believe it? I know there are some men (India W) who think they’re biological women (with a cervix) but they can’t really believe that. India W should take a DNA test if he’s that deluded!

I don't think he really believes it, he's fathered kids after all. It's just that his whole livelihood now depends on being a professional trans person. As his tv journalism career seems to have gone to pot.

RunsABit · Yesterday 14:45

Most men have no real clue what it's like to live with the constant threat of sexual violence. Trans women do - because they're targeted by them as well.

Most men,,,transwomen do; seems @TransParentlyAnnoyed is concurring by default that transwomen are indeed men.

For clarity @TransParentlyAnnoyed transwomen are blokes and both they, and you, are deluded. Shouting louder doesn't make it any more correct.

And don't conflate your pathetic argument by dragging in gay men. LGB without the T is gathering momentum, thank goodness.

6ate9 · Yesterday 14:52

@RunsABitMost men,,,transwomen do; seems is concurring by default that transwomen are indeed men.”

If they were women, there would be no need for the adjective ‘trans’.

namechange62 · Yesterday 16:09

Wow! Just opened my thread again and so many remarkable women sticking up for other women and girls and saying all the things that I wish I could articulate..
Thank you again.

OP posts:
BackToLurk · Today 10:23

TransParentlyAnnoyed · Yesterday 11:32

Trans women are women. They live, work, are sexually harassed and experience vulnerability to cis male violence exactly as did women do.

Trans women using public toilets - completely open spaces containing cubicles, which anyone can walk into - does not endanger us. Predatory cis men do.

Encouraging hate against a minority, and denying who they are, has never made us safe.

If chat forums like this had existed in the 1980s/90s, do you know who would have been the focus?

Gay men.

I grew up with that. How gay men should not be allowed to use public toilets because they were all fetishists who only used them for sex, to watch straight men or commit rape there. Because being gay wasn't real. Gay men were created by abuse, reading about being gay, and/or not being patented properly. Not being allowed to be masculine by mum's who wanted a girl instead. Being gay was called a lifestyle choice. Opinion colunmists argued there was no scientific basis for gay sexuality - it was all a choice and a perversion. Harmful to children. Sound familiar?

Transphobia is the recycled, vile homophobia which destroyed so many young gay lives. And a fair amount is recycled racism as well - notably the bits about inherently aggression.

While hypersexuality is a trope recycled from racism, homophobia - and porn.

Telling women that they'll be safe going into public toilets once trans women are banned, because cis men observe a fictional social contract not to enter, is both insulting and dangerous.

Most cis men don't go into the Ladies because there are no urinals, the queues are longer and they don't want to. Not because they are noble.

But the predatory cis men who have always gone in, can now claim to be trans guys if challenged.

They not only went in when they wanted (to hide in cubicles and wait for a woman to be alone) before, they now have an excuse if caught.

Well done the anti-trans movement. Forever parroting the myths of the far right which claim Strong Men are the answer.

Men attack us in public and nothing is done. They attack us on buses, in the street, in our homes, at work, in pubs - often in front of witnesses. The idea they'd go to all the effort of transitioning so as to use public toilets is laughable, and a male idea of what sexual violence actual is.

Most men have no real clue what it's like to live with the constant threat of sexual violence. Trans women do - because they're targeted by them as well.

Men like to imagine that women have sanctuaries and safe spaces (granted by them, because they're so noble) because they don't want to hear the brutal reality of how women live. We will see absolutely no progress until that is addressed.

Men attack us in public and nothing is done. They attack us on buses, in the street, in our homes, at work, in pubs - often in front of witnesses. (my emphasis)

Who are the 'us' here? I was under the impression that you say you are non-binary, i.e. 'not a woman'.

akkakk · Today 12:33

TransParentlyAnnoyed · Yesterday 11:32

Trans women are women. They live, work, are sexually harassed and experience vulnerability to cis male violence exactly as did women do.

Trans women using public toilets - completely open spaces containing cubicles, which anyone can walk into - does not endanger us. Predatory cis men do.

Encouraging hate against a minority, and denying who they are, has never made us safe.

If chat forums like this had existed in the 1980s/90s, do you know who would have been the focus?

Gay men.

I grew up with that. How gay men should not be allowed to use public toilets because they were all fetishists who only used them for sex, to watch straight men or commit rape there. Because being gay wasn't real. Gay men were created by abuse, reading about being gay, and/or not being patented properly. Not being allowed to be masculine by mum's who wanted a girl instead. Being gay was called a lifestyle choice. Opinion colunmists argued there was no scientific basis for gay sexuality - it was all a choice and a perversion. Harmful to children. Sound familiar?

Transphobia is the recycled, vile homophobia which destroyed so many young gay lives. And a fair amount is recycled racism as well - notably the bits about inherently aggression.

While hypersexuality is a trope recycled from racism, homophobia - and porn.

Telling women that they'll be safe going into public toilets once trans women are banned, because cis men observe a fictional social contract not to enter, is both insulting and dangerous.

Most cis men don't go into the Ladies because there are no urinals, the queues are longer and they don't want to. Not because they are noble.

But the predatory cis men who have always gone in, can now claim to be trans guys if challenged.

They not only went in when they wanted (to hide in cubicles and wait for a woman to be alone) before, they now have an excuse if caught.

Well done the anti-trans movement. Forever parroting the myths of the far right which claim Strong Men are the answer.

Men attack us in public and nothing is done. They attack us on buses, in the street, in our homes, at work, in pubs - often in front of witnesses. The idea they'd go to all the effort of transitioning so as to use public toilets is laughable, and a male idea of what sexual violence actual is.

Most men have no real clue what it's like to live with the constant threat of sexual violence. Trans women do - because they're targeted by them as well.

Men like to imagine that women have sanctuaries and safe spaces (granted by them, because they're so noble) because they don't want to hear the brutal reality of how women live. We will see absolutely no progress until that is addressed.

Trans women are women. They live, work, are sexually harassed and experience vulnerability to cis male violence exactly as did women do.

No - the only people who are women are those born female - you can not change sex. the very fact that you call someone 'Trans woman' is an admittance that they are not a 'woman'. It is an attempt to pretend that they are the same as women because you know that no-one will agree that they are women. But they are not - they are men.

there is no such thing as 'cis' men or women - there are just men - born male and always male; or women - born female and always female - there is no division, each sex is its own sex with no sub-sections or clarifications needed.

Men who pretend to be women ('trans women') are not subject to sexual harassment / violence at the same level as women - if they are show the stats. The stats clearly show that 'Trans women' are perpetrators of sexual and other violence at the same levels as across all men.

Trans women using public toilets - completely open spaces containing cubicles, which anyone can walk into - does not endanger us. Predatory cis men do.

endanger - who, who do you define as 'us' you are not a woman (from previous threads), so it is confusing that you refer to 'us'. 'Trans women' are men and some of them are predatory. No men are wanted in women's spaces.

Encouraging hate against a minority, and denying who they are, has never made us safe.

No-one is encouraging hate - it is possible to even feel sorry and compassion for someone while refusing to play their game of make-believe that they are a different sex. Standing up and stating the truth that sex is immutable and that all 'trans-women' are men is merely stating the facts to avoid confusion - it shows no sign of hate.

There is no denying who they are - in fact the very opposite - a man pretending to be a woman ('trans women') is in fact denying who they are - those of us who stand for the truth are strongly against denying the truth - we want the truth to be transparent and obvious to all - once a man, always a man.

Safety of men is really not the issue or concern - it is safety of women that is at threat from men - specifically in this discussion, from 'trans-women' who are men denying who they are.

Gay men.

A really irrelevant side-track. It is obvious to anyone who understand biology that men or women can be gay - they can fancy someone of their own sex. It is also equally obvious that a man can't become a woman and a woman can't become a man - so someone claiming to be 'trans' has all sorts of issues going on - none of which are comparable to the gay community.

Transphobia is the recycled, vile homophobia which destroyed so many young gay lives. And a fair amount is recycled racism as well - notably the bits about inherently aggression.

As above - nonsense, there is no transphobia shown here - to be be transphobic would first require someone capable of being 'trans' which we know is not physically possible. Secondly it would require a set of people to fear the 'trans' community for irrational reasons - and that is not this community - here you get people who stand up for truth, but are also very compassionate towards those struggling from mental health issues, and resistant to the obvious bullies and arrogant demands of a small subset of those who call themselves 'trans'

Telling women that they'll be safe going into public toilets once trans women are banned, because cis men observe a fictional social contract not to enter, is both insulting and dangerous.

I think that most women are aware that there will always be predatory men - a number of them have found the excuse of pretending to be women, so the clarity about only women in women's spaces will help reduce their presence

Having absolute clarity - zero tolerance, no men in a woman's space makes it a lot easier to challenge and remove people - there is no ability for a predatory man to weasel out by claiming to be a woman.

Most cis men don't go into the Ladies because there are no urinals, the queues are longer and they don't want to. Not because they are noble.

Still no such thing as cis.
Your arguments are ridiculous - I have never chosen to not go into a ladies loo because of a lack of urinals or because of queues, I don't go in because I am a man and I respect women and am happy for them to have their own space. Any man demanding access to women's space is clearly so insecure in who they are that they can't possibly allow women their own space, they have to invade it and control it...

But the predatory cis men who have always gone in, can now claim to be trans guys if challenged.

Still no such thing as cis.
not sure how that would work - men are men and are clearly men even with a frock and string of pearls - they are different shapes, have different hips, walk differently, talk differently and those who fall into the 'trans woman' / man pretending to be a woman group seem to spend their time trying to get affirmation that they are real women by acting in ways that no women would...

Quite how you think that a man pretending to be a woman pretending to be a man is going to work I have no idea - sounds as though it is a thought from fantasy land somewhere!

They not only went in when they wanted (to hide in cubicles and wait for a woman to be alone) before, they now have an excuse if caught.

Men might have gone in previously - now there is no excuse for a man to be in a woman's space, so there is zero excuse - quite how you believe that to mean there is an excuse is bizarre!

Men attack us in public and nothing is done. They attack us on buses, in the street, in our homes, at work, in pubs - often in front of witnesses. The idea they'd go to all the effort of transitioning so as to use public toilets is laughable, and a male idea of what sexual violence actual is.

Who is this us again? Are you a man pretending to be a woman so as to associate with women? I don't think that women accept me in their use of 'us'

You are right though, women are attacked in many ways by men - allowing men to pretend to be women to gain even more access to women in places where they should expect privacy is clearly not acceptable - as well as being illegal.

And yes, there are many men online who claim to be women who spout hatred and violence against women as a part of their daily deluded rhetoric.

Most men have no real clue what it's like to live with the constant threat of sexual violence. Trans women do - because they're targeted by them as well.

I think the first part of this is accurate - men generally do not have that level of awareness. However I would take issue with the second part - I and others on here keep asking for evidence that men in the 'trans women' community are targetted by other men in terms of sexual violence - and there is no evidence forthcoming - the stats that are available do not suggest this to be true, in fact those stats confirm that men within the 'trans women' community initiate sexual violence against women at the same rate as other men. There logically follows an assumption that this claim is another unsubstantiated claim aimed at getting validation for men who wish to be seen as women...

Men like to imagine that women have sanctuaries and safe spaces (granted by them, because they're so noble) because they don't want to hear the brutal reality of how women live. We will see absolutely no progress until that is addressed.

really no idea where you are going with this - men don't grant things to women - they don't own women - it may have escaped your notice that the tories are on their fourth female leader, three of whom have been prime minister - and this whole discussion is about men using deception (pretending to be women) to gain access to women's spaces - if men granted them those spaces they wouldn't need to pretend to be women to gain access... Women are as equal as men and are as legally entitled to their own space as men - it does not need the permission of a man to allow it!

it is a shame to see so much inaccurate stuff written - let's reset to the truth - men are men and women are women. Both are allowed their own spaces where relevant - and the opposite sex has no access - end of discussion.

Noshowlomo · Today 12:59

akkakk · Today 12:33

Trans women are women. They live, work, are sexually harassed and experience vulnerability to cis male violence exactly as did women do.

No - the only people who are women are those born female - you can not change sex. the very fact that you call someone 'Trans woman' is an admittance that they are not a 'woman'. It is an attempt to pretend that they are the same as women because you know that no-one will agree that they are women. But they are not - they are men.

there is no such thing as 'cis' men or women - there are just men - born male and always male; or women - born female and always female - there is no division, each sex is its own sex with no sub-sections or clarifications needed.

Men who pretend to be women ('trans women') are not subject to sexual harassment / violence at the same level as women - if they are show the stats. The stats clearly show that 'Trans women' are perpetrators of sexual and other violence at the same levels as across all men.

Trans women using public toilets - completely open spaces containing cubicles, which anyone can walk into - does not endanger us. Predatory cis men do.

endanger - who, who do you define as 'us' you are not a woman (from previous threads), so it is confusing that you refer to 'us'. 'Trans women' are men and some of them are predatory. No men are wanted in women's spaces.

Encouraging hate against a minority, and denying who they are, has never made us safe.

No-one is encouraging hate - it is possible to even feel sorry and compassion for someone while refusing to play their game of make-believe that they are a different sex. Standing up and stating the truth that sex is immutable and that all 'trans-women' are men is merely stating the facts to avoid confusion - it shows no sign of hate.

There is no denying who they are - in fact the very opposite - a man pretending to be a woman ('trans women') is in fact denying who they are - those of us who stand for the truth are strongly against denying the truth - we want the truth to be transparent and obvious to all - once a man, always a man.

Safety of men is really not the issue or concern - it is safety of women that is at threat from men - specifically in this discussion, from 'trans-women' who are men denying who they are.

Gay men.

A really irrelevant side-track. It is obvious to anyone who understand biology that men or women can be gay - they can fancy someone of their own sex. It is also equally obvious that a man can't become a woman and a woman can't become a man - so someone claiming to be 'trans' has all sorts of issues going on - none of which are comparable to the gay community.

Transphobia is the recycled, vile homophobia which destroyed so many young gay lives. And a fair amount is recycled racism as well - notably the bits about inherently aggression.

As above - nonsense, there is no transphobia shown here - to be be transphobic would first require someone capable of being 'trans' which we know is not physically possible. Secondly it would require a set of people to fear the 'trans' community for irrational reasons - and that is not this community - here you get people who stand up for truth, but are also very compassionate towards those struggling from mental health issues, and resistant to the obvious bullies and arrogant demands of a small subset of those who call themselves 'trans'

Telling women that they'll be safe going into public toilets once trans women are banned, because cis men observe a fictional social contract not to enter, is both insulting and dangerous.

I think that most women are aware that there will always be predatory men - a number of them have found the excuse of pretending to be women, so the clarity about only women in women's spaces will help reduce their presence

Having absolute clarity - zero tolerance, no men in a woman's space makes it a lot easier to challenge and remove people - there is no ability for a predatory man to weasel out by claiming to be a woman.

Most cis men don't go into the Ladies because there are no urinals, the queues are longer and they don't want to. Not because they are noble.

Still no such thing as cis.
Your arguments are ridiculous - I have never chosen to not go into a ladies loo because of a lack of urinals or because of queues, I don't go in because I am a man and I respect women and am happy for them to have their own space. Any man demanding access to women's space is clearly so insecure in who they are that they can't possibly allow women their own space, they have to invade it and control it...

But the predatory cis men who have always gone in, can now claim to be trans guys if challenged.

Still no such thing as cis.
not sure how that would work - men are men and are clearly men even with a frock and string of pearls - they are different shapes, have different hips, walk differently, talk differently and those who fall into the 'trans woman' / man pretending to be a woman group seem to spend their time trying to get affirmation that they are real women by acting in ways that no women would...

Quite how you think that a man pretending to be a woman pretending to be a man is going to work I have no idea - sounds as though it is a thought from fantasy land somewhere!

They not only went in when they wanted (to hide in cubicles and wait for a woman to be alone) before, they now have an excuse if caught.

Men might have gone in previously - now there is no excuse for a man to be in a woman's space, so there is zero excuse - quite how you believe that to mean there is an excuse is bizarre!

Men attack us in public and nothing is done. They attack us on buses, in the street, in our homes, at work, in pubs - often in front of witnesses. The idea they'd go to all the effort of transitioning so as to use public toilets is laughable, and a male idea of what sexual violence actual is.

Who is this us again? Are you a man pretending to be a woman so as to associate with women? I don't think that women accept me in their use of 'us'

You are right though, women are attacked in many ways by men - allowing men to pretend to be women to gain even more access to women in places where they should expect privacy is clearly not acceptable - as well as being illegal.

And yes, there are many men online who claim to be women who spout hatred and violence against women as a part of their daily deluded rhetoric.

Most men have no real clue what it's like to live with the constant threat of sexual violence. Trans women do - because they're targeted by them as well.

I think the first part of this is accurate - men generally do not have that level of awareness. However I would take issue with the second part - I and others on here keep asking for evidence that men in the 'trans women' community are targetted by other men in terms of sexual violence - and there is no evidence forthcoming - the stats that are available do not suggest this to be true, in fact those stats confirm that men within the 'trans women' community initiate sexual violence against women at the same rate as other men. There logically follows an assumption that this claim is another unsubstantiated claim aimed at getting validation for men who wish to be seen as women...

Men like to imagine that women have sanctuaries and safe spaces (granted by them, because they're so noble) because they don't want to hear the brutal reality of how women live. We will see absolutely no progress until that is addressed.

really no idea where you are going with this - men don't grant things to women - they don't own women - it may have escaped your notice that the tories are on their fourth female leader, three of whom have been prime minister - and this whole discussion is about men using deception (pretending to be women) to gain access to women's spaces - if men granted them those spaces they wouldn't need to pretend to be women to gain access... Women are as equal as men and are as legally entitled to their own space as men - it does not need the permission of a man to allow it!

it is a shame to see so much inaccurate stuff written - let's reset to the truth - men are men and women are women. Both are allowed their own spaces where relevant - and the opposite sex has no access - end of discussion.

Thank you @akkakk 🫶🏼

namechange62 · Today 13:18

akkakk · Today 12:33

Trans women are women. They live, work, are sexually harassed and experience vulnerability to cis male violence exactly as did women do.

No - the only people who are women are those born female - you can not change sex. the very fact that you call someone 'Trans woman' is an admittance that they are not a 'woman'. It is an attempt to pretend that they are the same as women because you know that no-one will agree that they are women. But they are not - they are men.

there is no such thing as 'cis' men or women - there are just men - born male and always male; or women - born female and always female - there is no division, each sex is its own sex with no sub-sections or clarifications needed.

Men who pretend to be women ('trans women') are not subject to sexual harassment / violence at the same level as women - if they are show the stats. The stats clearly show that 'Trans women' are perpetrators of sexual and other violence at the same levels as across all men.

Trans women using public toilets - completely open spaces containing cubicles, which anyone can walk into - does not endanger us. Predatory cis men do.

endanger - who, who do you define as 'us' you are not a woman (from previous threads), so it is confusing that you refer to 'us'. 'Trans women' are men and some of them are predatory. No men are wanted in women's spaces.

Encouraging hate against a minority, and denying who they are, has never made us safe.

No-one is encouraging hate - it is possible to even feel sorry and compassion for someone while refusing to play their game of make-believe that they are a different sex. Standing up and stating the truth that sex is immutable and that all 'trans-women' are men is merely stating the facts to avoid confusion - it shows no sign of hate.

There is no denying who they are - in fact the very opposite - a man pretending to be a woman ('trans women') is in fact denying who they are - those of us who stand for the truth are strongly against denying the truth - we want the truth to be transparent and obvious to all - once a man, always a man.

Safety of men is really not the issue or concern - it is safety of women that is at threat from men - specifically in this discussion, from 'trans-women' who are men denying who they are.

Gay men.

A really irrelevant side-track. It is obvious to anyone who understand biology that men or women can be gay - they can fancy someone of their own sex. It is also equally obvious that a man can't become a woman and a woman can't become a man - so someone claiming to be 'trans' has all sorts of issues going on - none of which are comparable to the gay community.

Transphobia is the recycled, vile homophobia which destroyed so many young gay lives. And a fair amount is recycled racism as well - notably the bits about inherently aggression.

As above - nonsense, there is no transphobia shown here - to be be transphobic would first require someone capable of being 'trans' which we know is not physically possible. Secondly it would require a set of people to fear the 'trans' community for irrational reasons - and that is not this community - here you get people who stand up for truth, but are also very compassionate towards those struggling from mental health issues, and resistant to the obvious bullies and arrogant demands of a small subset of those who call themselves 'trans'

Telling women that they'll be safe going into public toilets once trans women are banned, because cis men observe a fictional social contract not to enter, is both insulting and dangerous.

I think that most women are aware that there will always be predatory men - a number of them have found the excuse of pretending to be women, so the clarity about only women in women's spaces will help reduce their presence

Having absolute clarity - zero tolerance, no men in a woman's space makes it a lot easier to challenge and remove people - there is no ability for a predatory man to weasel out by claiming to be a woman.

Most cis men don't go into the Ladies because there are no urinals, the queues are longer and they don't want to. Not because they are noble.

Still no such thing as cis.
Your arguments are ridiculous - I have never chosen to not go into a ladies loo because of a lack of urinals or because of queues, I don't go in because I am a man and I respect women and am happy for them to have their own space. Any man demanding access to women's space is clearly so insecure in who they are that they can't possibly allow women their own space, they have to invade it and control it...

But the predatory cis men who have always gone in, can now claim to be trans guys if challenged.

Still no such thing as cis.
not sure how that would work - men are men and are clearly men even with a frock and string of pearls - they are different shapes, have different hips, walk differently, talk differently and those who fall into the 'trans woman' / man pretending to be a woman group seem to spend their time trying to get affirmation that they are real women by acting in ways that no women would...

Quite how you think that a man pretending to be a woman pretending to be a man is going to work I have no idea - sounds as though it is a thought from fantasy land somewhere!

They not only went in when they wanted (to hide in cubicles and wait for a woman to be alone) before, they now have an excuse if caught.

Men might have gone in previously - now there is no excuse for a man to be in a woman's space, so there is zero excuse - quite how you believe that to mean there is an excuse is bizarre!

Men attack us in public and nothing is done. They attack us on buses, in the street, in our homes, at work, in pubs - often in front of witnesses. The idea they'd go to all the effort of transitioning so as to use public toilets is laughable, and a male idea of what sexual violence actual is.

Who is this us again? Are you a man pretending to be a woman so as to associate with women? I don't think that women accept me in their use of 'us'

You are right though, women are attacked in many ways by men - allowing men to pretend to be women to gain even more access to women in places where they should expect privacy is clearly not acceptable - as well as being illegal.

And yes, there are many men online who claim to be women who spout hatred and violence against women as a part of their daily deluded rhetoric.

Most men have no real clue what it's like to live with the constant threat of sexual violence. Trans women do - because they're targeted by them as well.

I think the first part of this is accurate - men generally do not have that level of awareness. However I would take issue with the second part - I and others on here keep asking for evidence that men in the 'trans women' community are targetted by other men in terms of sexual violence - and there is no evidence forthcoming - the stats that are available do not suggest this to be true, in fact those stats confirm that men within the 'trans women' community initiate sexual violence against women at the same rate as other men. There logically follows an assumption that this claim is another unsubstantiated claim aimed at getting validation for men who wish to be seen as women...

Men like to imagine that women have sanctuaries and safe spaces (granted by them, because they're so noble) because they don't want to hear the brutal reality of how women live. We will see absolutely no progress until that is addressed.

really no idea where you are going with this - men don't grant things to women - they don't own women - it may have escaped your notice that the tories are on their fourth female leader, three of whom have been prime minister - and this whole discussion is about men using deception (pretending to be women) to gain access to women's spaces - if men granted them those spaces they wouldn't need to pretend to be women to gain access... Women are as equal as men and are as legally entitled to their own space as men - it does not need the permission of a man to allow it!

it is a shame to see so much inaccurate stuff written - let's reset to the truth - men are men and women are women. Both are allowed their own spaces where relevant - and the opposite sex has no access - end of discussion.

Wow. I've read this twice. Thank you for so clearly dismantling that post. And giving me more information to use next time I'm debating this issue.

OP posts:
namechange62 · Today 13:20

And I have to thank each and every man and woman who has added to my education about this subject.. hopefully I can remember most of it if/when the occasion crops up. Which I'm sure it will!

OP posts:
Shedmistress · Today 13:24

You just have to do 2 things IMHO.

Call men 'men', translate it back to normal speak if you need to, never use the words of the cult.

And ask yourself 'who wins here?' You can bet your arse it is not women and children when it comes up against 'trans'.

lechiffre55 · Today 13:25

@namechange62
I'm proud of you :)
Keep standing up for yourself and other women. Thank you.

I've never understood the "it's rare" argument. Murder is rare but we don't let people get away with it just because it's rare.
It's interesting watching people play both sides of the coin at the same time.
Trans is rare, why do you have any issues with it?
Detransition is rarer still, why do you have an issue with me mentioning it?

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