I've read threads 1-3, then jumped to this one. Around #30 now, but need to share something that's bugging me.
I witnessed an appalling case of workplace bullying which led to the victim being managed out. It became apparent the bully had spent months DARVO-ing to management, while the victim plodded on without complaint to avoid escalation.
So by the time the shit hit the fan, the bully had been pouring poison into management's ear for over a year, building this dense narrative of victimhood which left the victim totally handicapped. After all, they'd not gone crying to management, so they must be OK. And they'd kept quiet about it all, which was a bit suspicious, right? And they couldn't argue against the accusations [because they didn't know exactly what accusations had been made!!!😡].
Before that, I'd assumed being first to speak up could get you labelled a trouble-maker - better to be professional! But that - and this - make me wonder. The irony's maddening. SEEN were targetted. Women's "existence" was thrown into question - their lived experience dismissed (I know, I know). And they grinned and bore it - and, well, here we are.
But then, I guess, it's not just about the speaking up, is it? It's about the biases of who you speak to - whether there's even an ear for you in the first place...