I'm really interested to see what response this thread will get

[WallaceinAnderland]

It's just been posted on Reddit and I'm interested to see the views of posters on that forum:

Hi everyone, an older XY woman here (I'm approaching 40). Back in February I heard a voice in my head, it was a little girl's voice and it promised happiness and 'real feeling'. Once I realised that it was my 'feeling voice' there was an explosion of emotion which came with symptoms of CPTSD (or masked autism?) eg light/music/taste sensitivity etc. I was also able to see people in an emotional light without the need for alcohol, which I now have no need for as I used it primarily to feel emotions. As part of the dialogue with this voice, I thought I had sorted out my identity as the voice readily said that I was 'a boy'. (The symptoms have settled down, now.)
Recently, after 3 months of therapy and prompted by my therapist asking after the gender of my 'inner parent', I asked my feeling voice what I meant by 'boy' and I said 'not mum'. I asked it what I looked like, and was shocked to find that I looked like a woman. I don't physically look like my mum, being an XY woman, but my emotional body is that of her gender. With the techniques from therapy, combined with a heady dose of my own, my emotions are now settled and I can eat and sleep and function again... so I'm preparing to meet the practical challenges of being an XY woman.
So, firstly, hey! I guess you're my folk, now :) The only stuff I know about trans people is what I learned during suppression, so I don't know much at all, really, and I have no trans friends or any friends I'm really close enough to to talk about trans stuff in detail, readily. Oh, also, I tend towards the term XY-woman. Is that okay?
Secondly, I have seen some posts about suppressed emotion on here pre-realisation and about emotional release. Given what happened to me, I would be very interested to hear about any similar instances of suppressed emotion and emotional release. Thanks for reading.

Cool. Same.

Honestly the more I think about it the more convinced I am the OP was a troll who deleted because they weren't getting the response that they wanted.

I actually feel quite sad for him. If he was trolling, it's a negative way to spend an evening and if he wasn't, then he didn't get whatever support he was hoping to get from what he thought might be his community. He sounds seriously ill; I hope someone can help him.

As @Zoonosis says, this was one response

I tend towards the term XY-woman. Is that okay?

It raises suspicion. A bit of a red flag... /s
Transgender women tend to call ourselves women or trans/transgender women, rather than draw attention to and highlight our chromosomal differences.
I think it's good that you have a therapist to work things through with.

And this was the other

It's good that you are no longer dependant on alcohol and are seeing a therapist. Quite honestly though your post does not sound like a very typical trans journey. Which is fine in itself, we are not all the same. It may be you have other feelings about possibly being trans going back a long time that you haven't mentioned here. But I know a little bit about "inner parent" work, admittedly not loads, but I don't think it's that uncommon for that parent to be perceived as a different gender to yourself. And it sounds like this "voice" has told you different things at different times. I practise meditation, sometimes I get a "voice" that tells me all sorts of things, many of them are false or don't make sense because most of the time, it's just brain synapses firing off, not some amazing inner truth. I mention this because this stuff can be very confusing especially if you are recovering from a trauma and vulnerable. And because usually we don't get "told" we are trans, even by an inner voice, we know it through our feelings and experiences of our bodies and the world and it is rarely that much of a surprise to us when we finally come to terms with it. I hope I am not out of line saying this, obviously I don't know you, and I'm sure there's stuff you haven't included in this post. I hope you have support in your life to work things out and move forward regardless. Whatever the outcome, I wish you good luck with your journey.

So I guess they were thinking along the same lines as some of us. Also possible that the poster was not genuine and people just didn't want to engage.

The term "female" a biological reference is being misused online in the same way now.

"I heard a voice..." does sound like a psychotic episode description.

"Hi everyone, an older XY woman here (I'm approaching 40). Back in February I heard a voice in my head, it was a little girl's voice and it promised happiness and 'real feeling'."

This says to me, mature man with quite serious mental health issues.

I suspect 'feeling gender' is recognising one's personal inclinations that are associated to feminine behavioural patterns.

Personal inclinations or personality traits are a combination of genetic, hormonal & environmental influences so they aren't necessarily exclusively 'learned' post natal.

I think the clue is ‘I have no friends’ / ‘looks like you’re my people now’.