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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

The Bluestocking Womens Pub in an Adventure with Pirates!

159 replies

Magpiecomplex · 29/05/2026 10:43

New thread. You know the deal - women's pub, men to the Staunch Ally next door.

Some of us are currently on the trail of an international seed smuggling ring, just for background information.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
28
MyrtleLion · Yesterday 22:52

I had hoped to post another episode earlier this evening. However I have spent three hours wrestling with 350 words and the end result is I need to rewrite the ending to bring back those on The Dreadnork.

So it will be the morning.

but we are near the end.

And I’m telling you this so you can prepare yourselves.

How long do you want to wait between the end of The Gosie Chronicles Vol I, and the beginning of The Gosie Chronicles Vol II?

EmpressaurusKitty · Yesterday 23:01

I’m at my dad’s tonight & have a 3 hour journey train / tube journey home tomorrow. Spending it reading the next episode & doing the Times cryptic crossword with Genius will do very nicely, thanks @MyrtleLion!

ErrolTheDragon · Yesterday 23:02

MyrtleLion · Yesterday 22:52

I had hoped to post another episode earlier this evening. However I have spent three hours wrestling with 350 words and the end result is I need to rewrite the ending to bring back those on The Dreadnork.

So it will be the morning.

but we are near the end.

And I’m telling you this so you can prepare yourselves.

How long do you want to wait between the end of The Gosie Chronicles Vol I, and the beginning of The Gosie Chronicles Vol II?

Doesn’t it depend on how long a rest Gosie needs before the wanderlust strikes again?

MarieDeGournay · Yesterday 23:18

ErrolTheDragon · Yesterday 23:02

Doesn’t it depend on how long a rest Gosie needs before the wanderlust strikes again?

I don't know about Gosie, but I'm going to need a rest before the next adventure!

It has been so much fun, and so ridiculously gripping - e.g. the almost-cheering-out-loud reactions😃and so funny and so engaging - thank you so much Myrtle, for having the idea, and making it happen💙

Looking forward to the dénouement, I've absolutely no idea what's going to happen!

Boiledbeetle · Yesterday 23:32

I've just had words with my purring assassin. She's promised no murder in the house tonight.

I don't believe her.

And now, having had my 150th shower of the year, I'm off to bed.

Night night x

The Bluestocking Womens Pub in an Adventure with Pirates!
MarieDeGournay · Yesterday 23:55

Igneococcus · Yesterday 19:38

Oh, they were playing a friendly. I missed that. Curacao is actually in Germany's group.
This reminds me when my brother who lives in Hannover got a call from a friend from the Faroe Islands (who he knew because of playing table tennis) if he could put him and a bunch of friends up because they would be in Hannover for the football. Only when they arrived did he realize that they didn't come to watch the Euro qualifying match against Germany, they were playing for the Faroe Island national football team.

I've just remembered this - when Brian Kerr, former Ireland manager, was appointed manager of the Faroe Island football team, the headline in the evening paper was BRIAN IS AWAY WITH THE FAROES😄

MarieDeGournay · Yesterday 23:59

Are they fluffy crocs, Boily?
G'night to you, and g'night to all Stockingers, we need a really good night's sleep tonight because tomorrow is going to be very very exciting😀

The Bluestocking Womens Pub in an Adventure with Pirates!
Chickadeeinme · Today 01:57

I’m more of a tea person than a coffee person (except in cafes here where they have no idea how to make a decent cup of tea). I have an electric kettle on my bedside table and I take a cup and a small jug of milk upstairs with me when I go to bed. And I keep a box of teabags in the bedside drawer. Two cups of tea before I get out of bed!

DauntlessDamson · Today 07:16

I'm with Errol. I've just had my second cup of tea, which is bringing me gently into the land of the living.

My next brew will be a coffee from my machine, which will give me the impetus to start whatever I want to do today (haven't decided yet, the weather looks a bit iffy).

But then, I'm retired and can start the day slowly if I want to. When I was working it was coffee from wake-up to lunchtime, then tea in the afternoon.

EmpressaurusKitty · Today 07:19

Boiledbeetle · Yesterday 23:32

I've just had words with my purring assassin. She's promised no murder in the house tonight.

I don't believe her.

And now, having had my 150th shower of the year, I'm off to bed.

Night night x

Kitty says hello to your cat, @Boiledbeetle. What’s her name? And she’ll take good care of the slippers.

The Bluestocking Womens Pub in an Adventure with Pirates!
EdithStourton · Today 08:00

DH makes me a cup of tes first thing (and if he doesn't for any reason, I'll make my own).

Coffee? 😖Nope.

Boiledbeetle · Today 09:26

EmpressaurusKitty · Today 07:19

Kitty says hello to your cat, @Boiledbeetle. What’s her name? And she’ll take good care of the slippers.

I usually use a nickname but according to the cat her full title is:

"Seraphina Nightpetal, Moon‑Blessed Daughter of Claudia the Radiant, Keeper of the Velvet Hours, Whisperer of Soft Pawsteps, Guardian of the Silver‑Shadow Threshold, Consecrated in the Catnip Dawn, Bearer of the Nightpetal Sigil, First of Her Litter, Watcher of the Quiet Stair, Empress of the Unseen Corners, Sovereign of the Midnight Hearth, High Matron of the Silent Pounce, Illuminator of the Moonlit Hallways, Warden of the Ever‑Flickering Tail Flame, Mistress of the Soft‑Blink Benediction, Grand Archivist of Forgotten Sunbeams, Winter‑Watcher of the Frosted Sill, Summer‑Dreamer of the Open Window, Autumn‑Herald of the Falling Leaves, Spring‑Treader of the Dew‑Bright Garden, Descendant of the First Moon‑Prowlers, Initiate of the Order of the Velvet Paw, Bearer of the Eternal Purr‑Chant, and She Who Knows the Secret of the Warm Laundry Pile."

EmpressaurusKitty · Today 09:29

WOW. And I thought Empress Kitty-Bellissima of the Seven Oceans was a long name. Can Kitty be an Initiate of the Order of the Velvet Paw too?

Boiledbeetle · Today 09:31

EmpressaurusKitty · Today 09:29

WOW. And I thought Empress Kitty-Bellissima of the Seven Oceans was a long name. Can Kitty be an Initiate of the Order of the Velvet Paw too?

Only if she pretends she's kneeding bread dough when she comes for snuggles.

I have to say it's a nightmare doing the paperwork at the vets!

Magpiecomplex · Today 09:45

Boiledbeetle · Today 09:26

I usually use a nickname but according to the cat her full title is:

"Seraphina Nightpetal, Moon‑Blessed Daughter of Claudia the Radiant, Keeper of the Velvet Hours, Whisperer of Soft Pawsteps, Guardian of the Silver‑Shadow Threshold, Consecrated in the Catnip Dawn, Bearer of the Nightpetal Sigil, First of Her Litter, Watcher of the Quiet Stair, Empress of the Unseen Corners, Sovereign of the Midnight Hearth, High Matron of the Silent Pounce, Illuminator of the Moonlit Hallways, Warden of the Ever‑Flickering Tail Flame, Mistress of the Soft‑Blink Benediction, Grand Archivist of Forgotten Sunbeams, Winter‑Watcher of the Frosted Sill, Summer‑Dreamer of the Open Window, Autumn‑Herald of the Falling Leaves, Spring‑Treader of the Dew‑Bright Garden, Descendant of the First Moon‑Prowlers, Initiate of the Order of the Velvet Paw, Bearer of the Eternal Purr‑Chant, and She Who Knows the Secret of the Warm Laundry Pile."

Oh, I say! I like your cat's style!

I fancy being High Matriarch of the Order of the Ebon Wing. I might graciously allow other wingéd beings (must be pronounced that way) to join, if they ask nicely. 😂

OP posts:
Boiledbeetle · Today 10:04

Magpiecomplex · Today 09:45

Oh, I say! I like your cat's style!

I fancy being High Matriarch of the Order of the Ebon Wing. I might graciously allow other wingéd beings (must be pronounced that way) to join, if they ask nicely. 😂

She comes from a very noble family where the girls are venerated and the boys are just about tolerated. Her brother was just called "Moth".

Magpiecomplex · Today 10:16

Boiledbeetle · Today 10:04

She comes from a very noble family where the girls are venerated and the boys are just about tolerated. Her brother was just called "Moth".

I quite like Moth. Short, snappy, easy to say. Not as grandiose as his sister, obviously, but it has its merits.
Besides, I'm sure in his head he was the world's pre-eminent hunter, provider of gifts and all-round great guy.

OP posts:
EmpressaurusKitty · Today 10:21

Boiledbeetle · Today 09:31

Only if she pretends she's kneeding bread dough when she comes for snuggles.

I have to say it's a nightmare doing the paperwork at the vets!

Always!
It didn’t seem like a good idea to change Kitty’s name when I adopted her, for a few reasons, but if I had she’d have been La Bella Caramella, Caramel for every day because of the caramel streak on her forehead.

The Bluestocking Womens Pub in an Adventure with Pirates!
PastaAllaNorma · Today 10:48

Chickadeeinme · Yesterday 20:36

I'm very impressed by posters who can actually tackle cooking and baking in the morning before breakfast. It's as much as I can do to be bothered to pour cereal and milk into a bowl.

Crikey, it's been busy here! Excellent adventuring. Splendid cat names.

I'm one of those weirdos who can bake a batch of something before breakfast. This morning it was a couple dozen salted peanut cookies for Eldest's best friend to take home to Wales this afternoon, and make the focaccia dough ready for lunch.

I love coffee but since peri menopause I can only tolerate one strong coffee a day. More than that upsets my stomach so I switch to water for th rest of the day.

But my god, I love that one strong coffee.

Here's a picture of Sir Isaac Newton being stoned on nepeta. He was such a dope fiend and guarded his catmint with ferocity.
He died last summer and we miss him very much. But I still find tufts of fur here and there.

The Bluestocking Womens Pub in an Adventure with Pirates!
EmpressaurusKitty · Today 11:20

That’s another excellent cat name, @PastaAllaNorma.

MyrtleLion · Today 13:29

The Paper Trail

In which MyrtleLion's career advances further...

“What’s Aurelia?” Gosie pointed at the word on the board.

“No idea,” said @Boiledbeetle.
“You said they’d reconstruct it tomorrow,” said @Magpiecomplex.

“Yes.”

“But you don’t know what it is?” asked @AngleofRepose.

“No.”

MyrtleLion folded her arms. “But you’ve only been here five minutes.”

“Yes,” said Boily. “But I can read.”

She pointed at the entries. “Seeds. Maps. Paintings. Ledgers. Stonework. Architectural fragments. Those aren't components,” said Boily. “They're evidence. Seeds prove agriculture. Maps prove territory. Paintings prove culture. Ledgers prove administration. Stonework proves settlements.”

She tapped the board. “Whatever Aurelia is, they’re building a case for it.”

Gosie pointed at the next column. “What does Verified mean?”

Boily read the note beneath it. “Manifest and customs documentation review.”

Octavia looked back at the board. “If the final shipment passes review, Aurelia is complete.”

“Then we need to stop the verification,” said Gosie. “Where is the folder from the yacht?”

Angle looked around and spotted it on top of a shipping crate. It was still stuffed with brochures from Boily’s nest. She gingerly held up a harbour guide stained with Tunnock’s chocolate. “If Customs sees this, they can’t possibly verify anything.”

MyrtleLion frowned. “But if Talmere sees this, they'll know something's wrong.”

“True,” said Octavia. “We’ll need a proper submission for Talmere.”

Hedgehog brightened. “I still have the manifests.” She produced the thick sheaf of paperwork she had taken from the yacht. “I was saving them for bedtime.”

MyrtleLion accepted them automatically. A supervisor passing the office window saw the exchange and stopped dead. “You’re handling verification personally?”

“Apparently so,” said MyrtleLion.

The supervisor nodded as though this explained a great many things. “You'll want access to the boardroom.”

MyrtleLion tucked the manifests under one arm and started walking.

Everyone followed.

The executive boardroom contained a long polished table, twelve leather chairs and a view of the harbour.

By the time everyone arrived, lunch was already waiting. Soup appeared first, followed by sandwiches, followed by cold meats and sushi, then pastries. And then, shortly afterwards, what looked suspiciously like an entirely separate lunch. Nobody questioned this.

Across the room, several of the gerbils had discovered that the chairs rotated and were spinning in them joyfully until Goulash began to feel a little sick.

Magpiecomplex was quietly testing whether the silverware was being counted by distributing much of the cutlery about her person. So far no-one had noticed.

At the head of the table, MyrtleLion merely ticked and signed where indicated, while AngleofRepose, Hedgehog and Octavia worked through the manifests, customs declarations and reference numbers. Every few minutes another page arrived requiring confirmation that the previous page had, in fact, arrived.

MyrtleLion signed the final page and pushed the paperwork towards Octavia. “There.”

Octavia gathered the documents into a black binder. “The official submission for Talmere.”

Angle placed the recovered yacht folder onto the table and opened it. “And this one is for Customs.”

The remains of Boily’s nest spilled out. There were harbour brochures. Tide tables. A stained marina guide. Several loose pages bearing evidence of prolonged habitation.

The gerbils immediately stopped spinning on the chairs and got to work. Garland studied the pile with professional concern. Glacier produced divider tabs. Slowly. Gramaphone somehow acquired a laminator. Goulash sat in a chair and looked green.

The transformation began. A contents page appeared. Then section dividers. Then colour-coded tabs. The harbour brochures became Supporting Documentation. The tide tables became Appendix C. A particularly battered leaflet became Historical Reference Material.

The gerbils worked with complete seriousness. Graceful spent ten minutes adjusting a tab that was already straight. Glamour rejected a page because it lacked gravitas. Glockenspiel laminated a napkin.

Twenty minutes later the folder looked magnificent. Its contents remained largely harbour brochures.

MyrtleLion turned a few pages. The brochures appeared to have endured a difficult period in Boily’s care. Gateway to the World’s Best Sailing was missing a corner, Experience Plymouth’s Waterfront had acquired a chocolate stain across June, and Telling the Mayflower Story displayed several prominent tooth marks.

She closed the folder. “Looks official.” Glamour and Glockenspiel swelled with pride.

A Talmere compliance officer arrived shortly afterwards. He reviewed the official submission carefully, checking signatures, declarations and approvals before giving a satisfied nod. “Excellent.”

Then he noticed the second folder. “Customs copy?”

Octavia handed it over. He examined the cover. The contents page. The executive summary. Several impeccably tabbed sections. He nodded. “In order.” He signed the authorisation sheet and left with both folders.

As the door closed behind him, the gerbils began stealing office supplies. Pens vanished. Sugar packets followed. Notepads became scarce.

Governance departed with several sheets of flip-chart paper. Gravitas claimed a brass nameplate and Gutteral was carrying off a remote control that appeared to have no corresponding device anywhere in the building.

No-one noticed that Boily had slipped away.

https://myrtlelion.substack.com/p/the-paper-trail

The Bluestocking Womens Pub in an Adventure with Pirates!
The Bluestocking Womens Pub in an Adventure with Pirates!
Magpiecomplex · Today 13:37

Cutlery? What cutlery? ✨🍴✨

The Bluestocking Womens Pub in an Adventure with Pirates!
OP posts:
PastaAllaNorma · Today 13:39

EmpressaurusKitty · Today 11:20

That’s another excellent cat name, @PastaAllaNorma.

His brother was Ferris Mewller. Then we got an insane ginger tom we called Gonzo after the Muppet with no sense of danger.

Here he's trying to kill a bird on a feeder on the telly. And claiming a footstool as a plinth.

The Bluestocking Womens Pub in an Adventure with Pirates!
The Bluestocking Womens Pub in an Adventure with Pirates!
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · Today 13:43

My aunt used to have a cat called Mot Regit. She and her dh both went to Oxford so they liked that it looked like Latin, but was actually Tiger Tom backwards.

EdithStourton · Today 13:59

Ferris Mewller 😂😂😂