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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

The Bluestocking Womens Pub in an Adventure with Pirates!

93 replies

Magpiecomplex · Yesterday 10:43

New thread. You know the deal - women's pub, men to the Staunch Ally next door.

Some of us are currently on the trail of an international seed smuggling ring, just for background information.

OP posts:
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18
MarieDeGournay · Today 12:26

Hedgehogforshort · Today 10:05

At my hoglettes house.

having risen at 5.15am with the grand hoglettes we are now off to a farm park, so I shall drag myself around there for today looking like it is great fun in the heat.

a pint of red bull please gerbils.

or maybe iron brew

You're gonna need those sunglasses today, Hedgey!
Maybe not the leather jacket though..?
Hope you have a nice day out, and manage to stay cool as well as cool😎

The Bluestocking Womens Pub in an Adventure with Pirates!
MarieDeGournay · Today 12:33

Boiledbeetle · Yesterday 21:55

💕 I presume your daughter was less furry though? Although you are a cat so probably not!

A [human] friend of mine's baby was born with fur, especially on her back. Not on her face, fortunately!
Black fur - mum is dark-skinned/White.
She was reassured that it wasn't unheard of, and would disappear completely in a couple of weeks, which it did.
Endless teasing from siblings, naturally, but fortunately growing-up-furry-baby didn't mindSmile

EdithStourton · Today 13:32

Our local barley mostly goes for beer, Marie. Lots of maltings in East Anglia. And, obviously, Adnam's - God's own brewery.

We went into Town this morning, quick spot of food shopping followed by coffee with friends. And this evening we're seeing some neighbours for a barbecue. For now I'm lolling in the garden with a beer, crisps, the latest village magazine and MN. I have a list of chores (of which 'bottle the cordial' was crossed off first thing), including planting out some tomatoes, but they will just have to wait.

Thehorticulturalhussie · Today 13:54

Around here (W Dorset) they seem to be doing a lot of whole crop silage and I wonder whether it's of more value to them as cattle feed rather than being sold as barley. The silver lining for locals is that there will be less insecticide spraying.
Still a bit too warm today for me at 26C but I sat at the top of the garden after our walk and watched swallows at eye level, lots of very giddy bees on the viper's bugloss, Jersey Tiger moths, hummingbird hawkmoths on the valerian and thought how wonderful it all is.

MyrtleLion · Today 15:56

Infiltration

In which warehouse entry turns out to be easier than expected...

Portland East Distribution Complex covered so much ground that it appeared to have become a geographical feature. Warehouses stretched away in every direction. Roads crossed loading yards. Loading yards crossed rail spurs. Forklifts moved through it all with the confidence of creatures that knew they ran civilisation.

“I already dislike this place,” said @Hedgehogforshort, reading a sign that prohibited unauthorised authorisation.

The infiltration proved surprisingly straightforward.
The receptionist was, in fact, called Tammy. She was managing three separate crises at once. She glanced up as MyrtleLion approached with a clipboard, handed over visitor badges and pointed towards Dock Four.

Nobody asked who they were. Nobody asked why they were there. Several people appeared relieved by their arrival. Two supervisors stepped aside to let MyrtleLion pass. One of them appeared to be taking notes.

Within minutes MyrtleLion was receiving updates from managers who seemed convinced she outranked them. A passing manager glanced at Myrtle's visitor badge, then hurried away to find a better tie. A warehouse employee approached at speed, handed her a folder marked URGENT and disappeared before she could refuse it. Someone addressed her as Vice-President. Someone else handed her a coffee she had no memory of ordering. MyrtleLion accepted it before she could think of a reason not to.

“I think you’ve been promoted,” said Octavia.

“To what?”

“Nobody appears certain.”

Meanwhile six gerbils in high-vis jackets were now conducting a detailed review of warehouse operations. One forklift operator spent several minutes explaining maintenance procedures before asking MyrtleLion to approve a budget. She handed the paperwork to Octavia and kept walking.

@AngleofRepose was cross-checking cargo records with pallets and noticed a familiar red and silver wrapper lying underneath it.

“Tunnock’s,” she said.

“Boily,” said Gosie.

They continued deeper into Dock Four. The cargo became steadily more specialised: rare orchids, carved stone fragments, antique paintings, historical documents, museum consignments.

Then Angle noticed the symbol. A circle crossed by three diagonal lines. The same mark appeared on sunflower seeds, then on orchids, then on stone fragments.

Not often. Very rarely, in fact. Most shipments didn’t carry it. Only a tiny fraction did.

Octavia joined her. “That’s an odd collection.”

“It isn’t a collection.”

A forklift diverted one of the marked consignments from the normal flow to a fenced holding area at the far end of Dock Four. A few minutes later, another marked shipment was diverted the same way.

Different cargo. Same handling. The symbol wasn't marking the contents. It was marking the destination.

Gosie wandered slowly around the collection. “It’s a scavenger hunt.” She paused beside one of the stone crates. “Look at this.”

The paperwork described the contents as fragments from a twelfth-century monastery. The crate beside it contained pages from a dispersed archive. One painting was listed as part of a private collection. None of it was complete.

“Everything’s a piece of something else,” said Gosie. “Not everything. Most things.”

Angle frowned.

“You think that’s deliberate?”

“I think somebody wants parts.”

Before they could pursue the thought further, a supervisor appeared at MyrtleLion’s elbow carrying a clipboard thick enough to stun livestock.

“Excellent,” he said. “You’re still here.”

MyrtleLion regarded the clipboard cautiously. “Apparently.”

“I just need authorisation on the consolidated movement.”

He offered her a pen. MyrtleLion did not take it. “Perhaps you should explain it first.”

The supervisor blinked. “The transfer to the secure facility.” He immediately launched into a torrent of logistics terminology involving transfer protocols, routing priorities, cross-dock procedures and something called harmonised asset aggregation.

Nobody understood a word. Not even Octavia. Especially not Octavia.

Eventually MyrtleLion said, “And in practical terms?”

“The truck leaves in twenty minutes. Everything with the special handling designation goes on it.”

MyrtleLion glanced down at the paperwork. “All of it?”

The supervisor looked momentarily uneasy. “That’s the procedure. Was there a reason to make an exception?”

The crew exchanged glances. After an entire day following marked cargo through the warehouse, they had finally found the next link in the chain. Across the loading bay, a truck reversed into position. Forklifts immediately began moving towards the holding area. The rear doors stood open.

MyrtleLion took the pen. “Actually,” she said, signing the form, “I think this movement requires executive oversight.”

The supervisor straightened immediately. “Of course.” He scribbled something on the form, handed it back to her and hurried away.

MyrtleLion glanced down, SENIOR VICE PRESIDENT ESCORT AUTHORISED.

“I think I've been promoted again,” she said.

The journey took less than ten minutes. The lorry left the distribution complex, crossed an industrial estate, passed a builders’ merchant and arrived at a perfectly ordinary facility behind a chain-link fence. The sign outside identified it as Talmere Recovery Services.

“It looks disappointingly normal,” said Gosie.

“That is often how the alarming places start,” said Hedgehog.

Something shiny drifted from the open truck and skated across the concrete. @Magpiecomplex was on it instantly. She straightened and held up the prize.

A Tunnock’s wrapper.

“Boily,” she said.

A nervous manager appeared almost immediately. “We weren’t expecting an inspection.”

“Neither was I,” said MyrtleLion.

Before he could puzzle over this, she gestured towards the others. “My team will need access to the intake process.”

“Of course.”

“And the documentation.”

“Certainly.”

“And the cargo.”

The manager looked concerned. “All of it?”

MyrtleLion paused as though surprised there might be another option. “That would be best.”

The manager led them inside.

The facility operated with quiet efficiency. Crates were checked, logged and moved onward. Within seconds several gerbils became involved in unloading the cargo. One supervisor thanked Galoshes for her attention to detail. The gerbil made a note on her clipboard.

Then Gosie found the classifications.

Every marked shipment carried the same designation. Component. Stone fragments. Historical documents. Orchids. Even the monastery sunflower seeds. All marked Component.

A planning board stood beside a receiving office. Most of it was obscured, but several column headings remained visible.

Aurelia
No. Identified | No. Verified | % Integrated

Hundreds of entries filled the columns.

At the bottom, a summary box read,
Components Outstanding: 1,473
Reconstruction Progress: 96.7%
Milestone Risk: Low
Project Status: Green

Gosie stared at it. “That looks like a project tracker,” she said.

Before she could say more, @Boiledbeetle emerged from one of the newly unloaded crates, carrying three shipping labels and looking entirely at home.

She glanced at the board. “That's not just any project tracker, that’s a fully integrated Kanban project management dashboard.”

She licked a final trace of chocolate from a Tunnock's wrapper and dropped it to the floor.

“They’ll be ready to reconstruct Aurelia tomorrow.”

https://myrtlelion.substack.com/p/infiltration

The Bluestocking Womens Pub in an Adventure with Pirates!
Chickadeeinme · Today 16:06

I'm on tenterhooks now to find out more about Aurelia.

SionnachRuadh · Today 16:16

Gin and grapefruit juice please, bar gerbil. I need something sharp right now...

I find pirate speech interesting because in the movies it's mostly based on the seminal 1950s performances of Robert Newton (born in Dorset, grew up in Cornwall) but since lots of old time pirates came from the West Country, the accent they're given in movies may be accidentally accurate.

Then again, most English accents were rhotic about 200 years ago, and in rural areas a lot more recently. If we had recordings of Jane Austen, she'd have sounded a lot more like Jethro than like anyone from present day Hampshire.

I have discovered in my genealogy researches a relative who made his money from dubious means in the West Indies (not to go down a rabbit hole, but this is how I am related to the late Catholic theologian and detective novelist Ronald Knox) - but he would have had a Lisburn accent.

ChristmasStars · Today 16:41

Loving the promotion of @MyrtleLion here!

Chickadeeinme · Today 16:45

Yes! @MyrtleLion definitely deserves a promotion :-)

ErrolTheDragon · Today 16:49

I’m trying to work out what to do with some beremeal (ancient form of barley) acquired in Orkney. We had some beremeal bannocks which we liked so bought some from the mill - fine, medium and cracked plus a recipe leaflet. Problem is that, as I thought, most of these are variations on soda bread/scones, which DH tries to avoid because he has to avoid too much sodium. The only yeast bread recipe specifies leaving the dough to rise for between 12-24 hours somewhere ‘cool but not a fridge’… Confused
Have any of you ever baked with barley flour?

I’ll try making something akin to oatcakes with the cracked meal.

Chersfrozenface · Today 16:49

Gin and grapefruit juice please, bar gerbil. I need something sharp right now.

Oh hell's bells, don't remind me! My gang went through a fad of drinking gin and grapefruit juice. In the 70s. We stopped when all of us had at one time or another had too much and been very ill on it - that is a horrific, and acidic, experience nobody wants to repeat.

Thehorticulturalhussie · Today 17:01

ErrolTheDragon · Today 16:49

I’m trying to work out what to do with some beremeal (ancient form of barley) acquired in Orkney. We had some beremeal bannocks which we liked so bought some from the mill - fine, medium and cracked plus a recipe leaflet. Problem is that, as I thought, most of these are variations on soda bread/scones, which DH tries to avoid because he has to avoid too much sodium. The only yeast bread recipe specifies leaving the dough to rise for between 12-24 hours somewhere ‘cool but not a fridge’… Confused
Have any of you ever baked with barley flour?

I’ll try making something akin to oatcakes with the cracked meal.

I bake with various flours including barley but it's never more than 35% of the total volume of flour, I combine the lower gluten flours with strong white. The result is a great tasting loaf but it doesn't rise much and has a soft crumb.
As far as proving for 12 hours is concerned I use some of Rose Levy Berenbaum's recipes that need a long cool prove and the fridge is fine.
I think that I would also try it in a leavened flatbread recipe that includes yoghurt.
Don't know if that's at all helpful.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · Today 17:03

Beremeal digestive biscuits, @ErrolTheDragon?

EmpressaurusKitty · Today 17:04

Oh God, a Kanban board…

Thehorticulturalhussie · Today 17:05

Also need to know more about Aurelia. It loosely means golden and suggests intelligence and philosophical thoughts.

Thehorticulturalhussie · Today 17:08

EmpressaurusKitty · Today 17:04

Oh God, a Kanban board…

Shudders.
Agile processes and Monday morning scrums 😱

Bar gerbils can I please have a large Canonical Chimera to take away the memories. Easy on the chives if you don't mind.

ErrolTheDragon · Today 17:13

Thehorticulturalhussie · Today 17:01

I bake with various flours including barley but it's never more than 35% of the total volume of flour, I combine the lower gluten flours with strong white. The result is a great tasting loaf but it doesn't rise much and has a soft crumb.
As far as proving for 12 hours is concerned I use some of Rose Levy Berenbaum's recipes that need a long cool prove and the fridge is fine.
I think that I would also try it in a leavened flatbread recipe that includes yoghurt.
Don't know if that's at all helpful.

Thanks, that’s useful. Our standard ‘bread’ - the only form we’ve found which doesn’t shoot MrDragon’s glucose high - is a flatbread of his devising which is mostly oatbran, and I also do a 50:50 rye/wholemeal in the breadmaker so we’re definitely ok with dense low rise breads!

MarieDeGournay · Today 17:35

Yet again I almost cheered a little bit out loud when Boily appeared, like I did when ChristmasStars lit up the waySmile
Also Yay!! when Myrtle stepped on the promotion escalator😄

On a different topic - I see Scotland played Curacao, pop. 185,487.

Team selection is easy: take away 51% because it's men's footie.
Take away all the males aged under 18 and over... let's say 35, to be generous.
Take away all the males over 18 and under 35 who are ill, disabled, injured or otherwise unfit.
Take away all the males who can't stand footie..

There, that's it: the Curacao National Football squad😁

Scotland...whisky...Curacao...liqueur - any thoughts, cocktail bargebils??

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