Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Looking at men differently now I know too much?

615 replies

clingfilmed · 16/01/2026 17:10

In recent years I've seen so much in the news and online about men's abuse and violence towards women. A man who looks totally normal and pleasant and is perhaps in many ways a good man might still be going home and creating fake AI nudes of women he knows or watching extreme porn or abusing his wife or kids or using prostitutes or cam girls or has a fetish that degrades and dehumanises women or is a complete misogynist.

There is a post on the relationships board now where a married man is hoping that just because a mum of his sons friend has been friendly towards him she might fancy him and be up for it.

Then looking at many of the men I know day to day how they talk to and interact with their wives and families is depressing to see, almost like they don't care at all.

I know its not every man, I know some men who I do think are good. I do look back to the rose tinted days of my teens when I would idealise boys and think they were so amazing and now knowing what I do about general trends and some men in particular its quite a disappointment.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
18
ThatBlackCat · 18/01/2026 12:54

BruachAbhann · 18/01/2026 11:21

I have.
Do you not think women can cause harm too? Do you think it's inherently misogynistic to even point this out?

Not another 'but whatabout what women do'.

Women are the vulnerable and oppressed sex class. Men are the predator and oppressor sex class. Men rule the world and subjugate women. 98% of all violent offences are by men.

It really is not equal. If you want to talk about the so-called harm women do, why not start a new thread, instead of trying to ruin this one with an anti-woman agenda.

Gahr · 18/01/2026 13:12

ThatBlackCat · 18/01/2026 12:54

Not another 'but whatabout what women do'.

Women are the vulnerable and oppressed sex class. Men are the predator and oppressor sex class. Men rule the world and subjugate women. 98% of all violent offences are by men.

It really is not equal. If you want to talk about the so-called harm women do, why not start a new thread, instead of trying to ruin this one with an anti-woman agenda.

It is no use arguing with you, since you see the world in such simplistic terms. Life just isn't as simple as you make it out to be. And women do actual harm, not 'so called'.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 18/01/2026 13:44

Christ, I’ve yet to see a thread yet where males being the more cuntier sex class can’t be discussed in any form without a ‘women do it too!’. No one is disputing women can’t and don’t cause harm, but of the sexual and violent crimes that occur, 98% is caused by men. And the low level stuff.

I work in criminal justice, I’ve met some horrific, unpleasant women, I’ve worked with some right arseholes (women), but it’s men who are truly the problem. Trust me.

And NAMALT obvs, because we have to put that in now for the Not My Nigel’s.

EvelynBeatrice · 18/01/2026 13:44

BruachAbhann · 18/01/2026 12:42

It's a different type of violence but still violence for sure. I wouldn't want to be at the receiving end of either. Of course men can kill you and I'd rather not die but women can also make your life not worth living. I've seen some men have their lives and reputations destroyed by women who lied about them. I've seen good men and women who were standing up and doing the right thing in the workplace having their work reputations ruined and losing their career. I've seen family members ostracised by one female family member who manipulated others to her viewpoint and managed to convince everyone that this person was worthy of bullying and ostracisation and I've seen the ensuing loneliness and depression of that family member.

I've also seen how the 'be kinders' silenced people on the trans issue and we all know where that led.

It's hard to stand up to female aggression because it's hard to pinpoint and easy to deny. Even pointing out the existence of it can have people call you an 'internal misogynist' it seems.

I think as a society we need to stand up against aggression by both men and women and neither should be afraid to call the other out. I am not anti-men or anti-women and I don't want to get into a big discussion of who is worse. I don't think it's worthwhile or helpful. I have sons and daughters and I try to raise them to stand up for what is right, listen to their instincts and think for themselves.

I’m afraid that we do need to be able to categorise in order to safeguard.

While I’m worried about my girls being bullied or verbally abused, that’s something they can learn to deal with and defend themselves against. Physical violence and sexual aggression are another matter. All the self defence classes and Krav mags and self esteem in the world won’t help them defend themselves against greater male physical strength and entitlement.

Gahr · 18/01/2026 14:01

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 18/01/2026 13:44

Christ, I’ve yet to see a thread yet where males being the more cuntier sex class can’t be discussed in any form without a ‘women do it too!’. No one is disputing women can’t and don’t cause harm, but of the sexual and violent crimes that occur, 98% is caused by men. And the low level stuff.

I work in criminal justice, I’ve met some horrific, unpleasant women, I’ve worked with some right arseholes (women), but it’s men who are truly the problem. Trust me.

And NAMALT obvs, because we have to put that in now for the Not My Nigel’s.

Is 'more cuntier' a scientific term?! And no, I don't 'trust you'.

clingfilmed · 18/01/2026 14:45

GrethaGreen · 17/01/2026 00:17

Ridiculous thread. There are plenty of decent lovely men in the world.

Thats sort of the point, lots of men are decent and lovely and still do horrendous things or are watching extreme porn in private or doing this kind of thing and most will never be caught. This man for example was considered lovely and a good friend to the women he made explicit rape content of and posted online about.

Sydney bartender who uploaded digitally altered photos of women he knew to sexually explicit websites faces victims - ABC News

There are good men for sure but as a woman its impossible to really know which men can really be trusted.

Close friend of bartender whose photos he manipulated for sexually graphic websites speaks of 'shock'

Seven women read their victim impact statements out in court after Andrew Thomas Hayler uploaded digitally altered photographs of them to sexually explicit websites.

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-06-13/andrew-thomas-hayler-sentence-hearing-photos-women-sydney-court/103970704

OP posts:
AccidentallyWesAnderson · 18/01/2026 14:47

Gahr · 18/01/2026 14:01

Is 'more cuntier' a scientific term?! And no, I don't 'trust you'.

Edited

It’s an accurate term. Statistically so.

Oh no, I’m devastated.

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 18/01/2026 19:25

BruachAbhann · 18/01/2026 09:32

I agree. All this demonisation of men makes me very uncomfortable. Women can be aggressive too, their aggression shows in different ways though. I read about a study that looked at fights in the playground and they initially found there were much more fights between boys but when they went back and looked again they realised there were an equal amount between girls but these were not phyical fights, rather name calling, being mean etc. Women can't compete physically in a fight but they can deploy their bitchy side and engage in gossip, reputation destruction, innuendo, shunning. I know just as many unsavoury women as men but they use different tools.

Are you seriously trying to claim that hurty words are actually as bad as beating someone up?

The Fourth Rule of Misogyny: "Women’s opinions are violence against men, thus male violence against women is justified."

That rule is rooted in the false equivalence that hurty words are exactly as bad as battering someone.

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 18/01/2026 19:28

BruachAbhann · 18/01/2026 11:50

According to the playground study I cited above, they were. The altercations were verbal rather than physical in nature.

Words. Are. Not. Violence.

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 18/01/2026 19:41

Shortshriftandlethal · 17/01/2026 19:14

I think men and boys can be a lot more straightforward to deal with, and without the intense emotional pre-occupation and pair bonding -focused tendencies of girls and women. These are generalisations, of course, but as an ex teacher, I always found boys ( generally, of course ) quite simple and straightforward.

Autistic women and girls face social censure for being "straightforward to deal with". I have been described as "very masculine" in my language and manner and have been the subject of complaints at work because I am too direct.

It's only men who are allowed to be "simple and straightforward". Women like that are punished.

BatchCookBabe · 18/01/2026 19:41

Ah, it didn't take long did it, for the Not My Nigels to plop onto the thread, and the 'some wimmin are just as bad - if not worse than men!' comments to start.

Nothing to see here.

Here's an idea though for the MRAs.

START YOUR OWN THREAD, about all these 'terribe women' AND STOP DERAILING THIS ONE!

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 18/01/2026 19:44

BatchCookBabe · 18/01/2026 19:41

Ah, it didn't take long did it, for the Not My Nigels to plop onto the thread, and the 'some wimmin are just as bad - if not worse than men!' comments to start.

Nothing to see here.

Here's an idea though for the MRAs.

START YOUR OWN THREAD, about all these 'terribe women' AND STOP DERAILING THIS ONE!

NAMALT and Not My Nigel = Rule Ten: "The worst thing about male violence is that it makes men look bad". NAMALT and Not My Nigel is damage control PR.

Some women are just as bad = Rules Eleven and Four: "Whatever women suffer from, it is worse when it happens to men"; "Women’s opinions are violence against men, thus male violence against women is justified". Equating women's words to men's punches, and claiming that male violence against other men is at least as bad as male violence against weaker, smaller, frailer women.

Claiming that we are going too far = Rule Thirteen: "Angry women are crazy. Angry men have trouble expressing themselves." How dare I be angry after being raped and sexually assaulted? How dare I be angry after a man murdered Carol, Louise, and Hannah Hunt with a crossbow?

The Rules of Misogyny

The Rules of Misogyny

#12. Women’s ability to recognize male behavior patterns is misandry

https://4w.pub/the-rules-of-misogyny/

RT112 · 18/01/2026 21:31

Cheese55 · 18/01/2026 11:55

3 men a week are not killed by women's words.

In some cases women’s words are the reason why they got killed.

Cheese55 · 18/01/2026 21:41

RT112 · 18/01/2026 21:31

In some cases women’s words are the reason why they got killed.

By that logic, are womens words the reason why women get sexually harassed/ abused by men?. Poor men, women are making them do all sorts of awful things

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 18/01/2026 22:44

Cheese55 · 18/01/2026 21:41

By that logic, are womens words the reason why women get sexually harassed/ abused by men?. Poor men, women are making them do all sorts of awful things

Rule Four: "Women’s opinions are violence against men, thus male violence against women is justified."

Rule One: "Women are responsible for what men do."

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 18/01/2026 22:46

RT112 · 18/01/2026 21:31

In some cases women’s words are the reason why they got killed.

Rule One: "Women are responsible for what men do."

If a man attacks another man in response to something a woman said, the first man is in the wrong.

GaIadriel · 18/01/2026 23:05

ThatBlackCat · 18/01/2026 09:37

I'm not middle class, I'm working class. I am not white. And I don't live in western Europe.

No one is 'hating' let alone 'unconditionally hating' men. You're being overdramatic.

There was a fairly recent thread on here titled 'All men are filthy losers'. The poll was in favour of the OP.

I remember thinking that you'd never get away with replacing 'men' with Muslims/Jews/benefit claimants or any other demographic. If we go by the mantra on here that people who don't challenge sexism are complicit then we can only assume that people on here are OK with these kinds of sentiments.

GaIadriel · 18/01/2026 23:06

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 18/01/2026 22:46

Rule One: "Women are responsible for what men do."

If a man attacks another man in response to something a woman said, the first man is in the wrong.

And the man being assaulted is still a victim.

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 18/01/2026 23:14

GaIadriel · 18/01/2026 23:06

And the man being assaulted is still a victim.

No claimed he wasn't.

Rule Eleven: "Whatever women suffer from, it is worse when it happens to men."

Rule One: "Women are responsible for what men do."

GaIadriel · 18/01/2026 23:15

Cheese55 · 18/01/2026 11:55

3 men a week are not killed by women's words.

Neither are three women killed a week.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 18/01/2026 23:21

GaIadriel · 18/01/2026 23:05

There was a fairly recent thread on here titled 'All men are filthy losers'. The poll was in favour of the OP.

I remember thinking that you'd never get away with replacing 'men' with Muslims/Jews/benefit claimants or any other demographic. If we go by the mantra on here that people who don't challenge sexism are complicit then we can only assume that people on here are OK with these kinds of sentiments.

Well you would if you could back it up statiscally no?

GaIadriel · 18/01/2026 23:21

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 18/01/2026 23:14

No claimed he wasn't.

Rule Eleven: "Whatever women suffer from, it is worse when it happens to men."

Rule One: "Women are responsible for what men do."

People always look like numpties when they start parroting the Rules of Misogny. You immediately know exactly what type of person they are and that the vast majority of their beliefs are likely to be second hand beliefs they've read online.

These aren't universally accepted principles like the law of gravity. They're just something a feminist posted online which only a tiny minority of women take as gospel.

The poster above is right. You can't simplify the entirety of human society into a list of things you read online which somebody else wrote.

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 18/01/2026 23:54

GaIadriel · 18/01/2026 23:21

People always look like numpties when they start parroting the Rules of Misogny. You immediately know exactly what type of person they are and that the vast majority of their beliefs are likely to be second hand beliefs they've read online.

These aren't universally accepted principles like the law of gravity. They're just something a feminist posted online which only a tiny minority of women take as gospel.

The poster above is right. You can't simplify the entirety of human society into a list of things you read online which somebody else wrote.

The Rules of Misogyny describe patterns and aid with identifying them. Women's ability to spot patterns helps to keep us safe.

Some things are really simple. That 98% of sexual violence is perpetrated by men is really simple. That women, when asked "would you rather be alone in the forest with a man or a bear?", overwhelmingly answered "the bear" is also really simple.

That, when asked about their daughters being in the forest, 19 out of 20 fathers chose the bear is really simple.

Men as a class are dangerous to women as a class. It is that simple. We just had an employment tribunal panel state as such in the Darlington Nurses case.

270. We [the tribunal panel] accept – as does the Respondent – that women are more likely to have experienced sex-based harassment and sex-based violence than men. It will come as no surprise to anyone that this is so. The risk posed to women generally by this state of affairs causes a reaction in many women and leads them to adjust their own behaviour according to the circumstances. Women do not have to experience sex-based harassment or violence personally. The experiences of some women can and does have an impact on others. Depending on the circumstances, a woman might experience fear and distrust in the presence of a man even though, objectively, as a matter of fact, the man is an entirely innocent actor. We take an example that we can all recognise, of a woman walking alone on a street at night, whereupon she notices an approaching male. She crosses the road to avoid the man, holding her keys in her hands in the event she needs to defend herself or she phones someone or pretends to do so. The approaching male is a perfectly decent and innocent person with no intention to harm anyone and is oblivious to the woman on the street. He would feel offended at the thought that someone might regard him as potentially harmful. But it is not the individual’s character that dictates the reaction in the woman. It is not the man himself but the fact that he is a man. The difficulty for the woman in this example is that she is unable to police the character or the intent or motivations of the approaching male. She is fearful of the risk presented in the knowledge of women’s experiences in life generally. Her reaction does not depend on personal experience, although of course it may be explained by this. The Tribunal is able to draw on its own experiences of life in recognising these fearful, defensive, precautionary traits in women in certain circumstances. They are not irrational reactions. On the contrary, they are entirely rational, based on the lived experiences of other women generally. Many women will feel anxious and may take extra precautions in what men might regard as normal situations.

You might know some good men. You might work on a contruction site free of sexually-explicit graffiti about what your male colleagues would like to do to you or the admin lasses. In which case, you are lucky.

A lot of women know some very bad men and have our lives limited by them. We are allowed to talk about that and should be able to express our frustration and fear without being judged as harridans. In the context of the OP, we are talking about fear and mistrust of men. The bad ones don't helpfully wear t-shirts that say "I am a rapist", so we have to act like they all might be.

Cheese55 · 19/01/2026 06:02

GaIadriel · 18/01/2026 23:15

Neither are three women killed a week.

3 women a week are killed by men. Usually by an ex/partner. This is not new information and shows the level of violence by men and women is not a level playing field.

Disturbia81 · 19/01/2026 08:53

I know someone who will always, without fail, say “women do it too” as soon as I mention a paedophile, child killer or spouse murderer etc. She’s a woman! I’ve stopped talking about this stuff as it’s infuriating.

Swipe left for the next trending thread