The Bluestocking: Next stop, Christmas!

[ifIwerenotanandroid]

Join us as we open our slightly wonky advent calendar. 🌲

(copies available behind the bar £12.50 each, no refunds)

Not a postal story, but a similar one about aged relatives and their record keeping.

So one time my granny's cat was ill and I had to call the vet. I can't remember his name, but let's say it was Hugh McFadden. The task was to locate his number in her address book, which I eventually did.

Not under M for McFadden.
Not under H for Hugh.
Not under V for Vet.
But under C for Cat Man.

well that makes sense - all the holidays4dogs ‘aunties’ our old boy used to stay with are still in my address book in the D section.

Going through the book addressing cards is a bit poignant nowadays.

I love that story, Sionnach Perfectly logical, but only after you've found out what it is

Having done the addresses and basic greetings in the cards last weekend, I now need to write a bit in some of them - I find this much harder than I should.

Another railway bridge has collapsed into the silvery Tay. Thankfully without loss of life or, so far as I'm aware, bad poetry.

Although, wasn't someone recently accused of plagiarism and being the worse poet since McGonagal(sp?)? I've no idea of the truth of those assertions but this could be a perfect opportunity for a mocking payback. Or possibly to totally confirm the allegations.

Actually, it might have been the Spey!

Oh well, close enough.

Thanks, Android; that’s beautiful.

I have crashed a bit the last few days. We are still in the middle of various procedures and it all feels endless. Because it’s been so constant I don’t feel I’ve yet had chance to properly grieve and I feel I’ve gone back to how I felt when it first happened.

I’d love to talk to you all more about everything, but I suppose this is a bit of a goldfish bowl really and it’s best not to.

Your thoughts are lovely 💙.

I'm so sorry, Swashy.

Grief is such a variable and personal thing in any case, and to have external processes intrude must make it all 10 times worse.

We will all be thinking of you and Dr Swash, and wishing you well.

So sorry, but not surprised, that you are feeling your loss so keenly at the moment - such a deep loss, such an ambiguous time of year.

I hope there's somebody outside the goldfish bowl you can speak your heart to.
You know we collectively would love to be there for you in that way, but the strengths of being pirates, androids, animals, historical French figures etc etc are also weaknesses, we can't put our arms around the real Swash and Dr Swash, as we would love to.

But we're always here for you, in our quirky, anthropomorphic way💙

💙 Swashy. Say as much or as little as you want here.

Sending you love & good wishes @Swashbuckled 💙

@Swashbuckled time for a group hug.

💙

@Hedgehogsrightsarehumanrights

Saw this and thought of you.

https://tunnocks.orbgroup.co.uk/products/snowballs-tea-towel?c=102

I have no idea who the person who tweeted is.

But I love it.

https://x.com/i/status/2000160734181802454

Your order is being processed.

Your order has now been processed.

Your order has been approved.

Your order is being packaged.

Your order has left our warehouse.

Your order is being transferred to a courier.

Your order is with our courier.

Your order is being tracked.

Your order will be delivered to you today between 9am and 9pm.

Your order is crossing over a bridge.

Your order had to answer 3 riddles.

Your order did a barrel roll.

Your order finished watching all episodes of Breaking Bad.

Your order joined the dark side.

Your order learnt how to use the force.

Your order lost custody of their kids in the divorce.

Your order played league.

Your order started pottery lessons.

Your order enrolled in online university.

Your order just wants to be friends.

Your order is placing their own order.

Your order doesn’t like green eggs and ham.

Your order started a band.

Your order disbanded the band.

Your order is riding a rollercoaster.

Your order will be joining the next phase of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Your order took an uber.

Your order tipped the uber.

Your order found the one piece.

Your order drew you a crayon drawing.

Your order got nominated for a Grammy.

Your order was rescheduled to tomorrow.

I have an early start.

The car has an intermittent problem with its sensors which we thought they'd fixed but it keeps coming back. They should fix it tomorrow but I have to show up at 8, and wait, only for them to start it at 1pm.

They called on Saturday to ask if we would like to sell it as they've had an enquiry. Yes please! But we need to work out the finance on a new car which is difficult (but not impossible) until I've been employed at least six months.

Anyway the salesman will get in early totalk me through options, and hopefully, to get on my good side, they'll put my car in early.

As it's year end, he probably needs a sale so there could be a good deal in it for us.

So goodnight all! I'll be back for something strong around 9am. Nothing else to do while waiting.

Good luck, Myrtle! Hope they fix it &/or give you a fantastic deal.

This is not as mad as it sounds. I ordered an item recently, which I knew came from a factory in Northampton. I tracked it to the courier's depot, where it hopped onto a lorry heading for Harwich. Next thing I knew it was having a scenic tour of Germany and Belgium before catching a night ferry back to the UK. The whole thing took about 5 days.

I had one order which arrived in Dover from the continent, was sent up to Daventry to the main distribution hub, and then back to Kent for delivery. And any number which get shipped from Kent to Essex and back to Kent. It's no wonder the Dartford crossing is always so busy!

That's hilarious, Boily😂
beats my record of 16 emails about one order!

Emails are not environmentally neutral, somebody should tell them😠

I like DPD deliveries because they not only tell you when it's arriving, but the name of the delivery person. I asked one of them if his name really was Darren or if a supervisor with a clipboard tells them first thing in the morning 'Okaaaay people it's Wednesday, so you're all Darren today, right? Off you go. And hey - be careful out there!.'

But in fact his name was Darren. 😒

My Empire Stores Delivery man was called Darren. He used to come in for coffee. Wink wink.

My dpd (I think it's dpd) deliver under a false name and photo. Which is really annoying as the guy in the photo is delicious. Then I open the door to some balding middle aged pasty white guy and feel so disappointed. If the man in the photo does ever turn up I'll be such an ecstatic beetle. The delivery guy less so as he'll be handcuffed to the radiator in my basement.

I have decided to admit defeat and not get excited that the thing I want to buy is on same day delivery if I order within the next hour and 48 minutes from Amazon. Because yet again Amazon have failed to deliver and went from your delivery is due between 4 - 9 pm to your delivery is out for delivery to your parcel is now expected before 17th December.

Bah humbug!

I need the hot chocolate bowser AND the giant flask of Grand Marnier.

That Bondi Beach thread...
Bloody hell, it's depressing.

Dear Swashy,

I have been thinking about you quite a bit in the last few days and weeks. I think for the first year after the beloved one dies, everything hits hard - each time there's any even slightly significant date is a first. Memories, mixed, joyful, angry, flat, lyrical, poignant. The first Christmas, however you felt about it before, is a terrible season. It drags on for ever. The days come and go. The same old stuff is there, the same moaning complaints, the same rituals, carols, the same flashing lights and inflatable santas, the same frenzied shopping. The same brief quietness, the same anticlimax, the same long dark nights. But everything is different. Everything.

Grief is a whole-body experience and it takes as long as it needs to. If you don't or can't grieve now, perhaps you'll be able to grieve in a little while.

It's funny thinking of the Bluestocking as a goldfish bowl. I always thought it was a kind of women's pub. A place where kind women gather and make each other laugh and try to comfort each other. Sometimes we have arguments(!) but mostly, we are kind, and try to understand and empathise.

Sending you most loving thoughts and any number of hugs from a hairy slow sloth, if you want them. You can have ALL THE THOUGHTS. But you are not obliged to accept hugs. After all, we haven't met yet.

Love from your friend

knitted sloth xxxxx

aka Slothbuckled

😄

Hello swashy I am thinking of you too today it will be a very difficult time for you without bear

you will never get over it

but you may come to accept it but when that might be is hard to know.

i carry you in my thoughts xxx

This should appeal to you lot doing the Christmas food shopping

https://x.com/i/status/2000198595148910993

We have my parents and sister staying with us this Christmas. My first action after reserving a Christmas supermarket delivery spot months ago was to call my mum and ask what cheeses they want included (and crackers to accompany them).