If someone tells you who they are...

[IfSomeoneTellsYouWhoTheyAre]

You have to believe them, right? That's what the TRAs always seem to claim anyway. So when a man tells us he's actually a woman we have to tell "her" how stunning and brave she is, and how "she" is a much better woman than we will ever be. OK, a little bit of hyperbole there, but you get my drift. So why is it, that when we tell a TRA that we don't have a gender identity, and aren't CIS, do they tell us that we are wrong about ourselves. Why don't they believe that we know who we are just as much as their TW friends do?

I've just come back from what was meant to be a lovely, long overdue, few days away with my oldest friends. We've all known each other for 20-30+ years but haven't managed to all be together due to families, work etc for more than the odd meal.

Somehow the subject came onto trans-rights and so on. Turns out, I'm the only one who doesn't believe that TWAW, or that sex matters in some circumstances. I've been told that I am CIS, even when I tried to explain that I don't have a gender. Apparently the fact that I describe myself as a woman means I'm assigning a gender to myself. I was also told that sex is more complicated than we learn at school, and told that I am "technically intersex" because I have PCOS. According to the person who told me that intersex means I'm not actually male or female. How can I be cis then? (I'm aware that intersex is an outdated term, and that everyone IS male or female. There is no inbetween)

One friend, who is educated to a very high level, insists there is a lot of evidence out there that proves this, and also proves that trans kids commit suicide if not affirmed. When I asked for some links, I was told to google it. Oh, but if I found so called evidence that proved the opposite it was fake.

Also the Cass review was poorly done and transphobic. The ban on puberty blockers is transphobic. And one woman has allowed her 4 year old to socially transition. FFS.

I don't know what the point of this post is. I'm just sad.

PS have name changed as potentially outing, but have been around since the mouldies days.

TL:DR I've just lost my oldest and closest friends because I refuse to accept that I am a cis-intersex-person, or that humans can change sex.

How horribly disappointing for you, OP.

Just yesterday I was talking to a someone I'd like to be friends with. I found a way to bring Glinner into the conversation (fortunately this was easy as he's in the news) and make my views very clear. This was both because I was curious what his views are (he used to work for the BBC), and I didn't want to set the both of us up for disappointment later.

He doesn't appear to know very much about this subject at all, but what he did say wasn't promising, e.g., "Well, if he was inciting violence," and "The police in airports are always armed..."

On the bright side, I think I intrigued him, and he didn't seem too alarmed by what heresies I let slip. Fingers crossed as we navigate the choppy waters ahead.

Claire Ainsworth was challenged on Twitter if she was claiming there were more than two sexes. She said no, two sexes and variation within the binary.

Yes, it's enraging how the title and standfirst completely belie the actual content. People with a couple of very specific DSDs are literally the only ones for whom it's ever useful to ask themselves what their gender identities are.

It really is that simple

I hate this conflation between being listened to and being believed.

Everyone has right to tell their story but nobody has the right to inflict their version of events on others

When I see that referred to, I always come back to her response on Twitter as it then was: https://x.com/ClaireAinsworth/status/888365994577735680

intersex? horrible

Your friends are idiots are are just spouting TRA talking points. Give them a few years and all of a sudden they will pretend they never really believed TWAW because of course they aren't. Take a look at the yougov stats if you are feeling alone in your point of view, you are in the majority.

My view of "If someone tells you who they are, believe them". Is if a man tells me he has decided that his validation is more important than girls & women's privacy, dignity and safety and he is going to access private female spaces despite knowing women and girls object, he's told me exactly who he is and he has shown he has no respect for real women and is happy to destroy female boundaries. He has shown me he isn't safe. I have no respect for men like this.

Thanks everyone. You're sanity has given me faith. I'm sorry so many of you have lost friends to this madness.