How to Actually be Gender Non Conforming

[OuterSpaceCadet]

There seems to be some confusion out there over what constitutes being gender non conforming / deconstructing gender.

I thought a list might be a handy resource to direct posters to (those who are so keen to explain at length but less inclined to read the board first in order to understand what feminists think about gender or indeed anything).

So what are meaningful ways in which a man or woman can deconstruct gender or be gender non conforming sometimes?

And I mean real ways that actually have an impact beyond visual. Not length of hair. Not possession of moobs or mastectomy. Not choice of shoe.

The findings were that girls / women cry more than boys / men from mid adolescence, even when alone. And as there is no biological reason for this they posited social explanations - i.e. boys are exposed to disapproval from about the age of 11.
I guess it's like all these things, how to you test what is nature and what is nurture?

It's difficult, because no human being grows up in conditions of pure nature, and nurture starts from day one.

I suppose the best that can be done is to eliminate as many of the "nature" myths as possible by observing differences across different societies and subcultures, and in the same society through time, and see what you're left with. Though even that might be partly nurture.

The trouble is, social memories are so short. For example, apparently it used to be "pink for boys" at one time. So if nowadays, lots of little girls and few or no little boys are mad for pink, that's probably learned behaviour, not natural instinct.

Some boys here think schoolwork is girly. The Taliban think schoolwork is for boys.
In old stories like Beowulf and Morte d'Arthur, hardened warriors burst into tears and embrace without shame.

The more one knows about other times and places, the better one is armed against bullshit.

Looking back over my life, it would have been difficult for me to have been interested in fashion and sewing. 1964.
But were I 16 now it would not appear as being 'odd' or weird and I could have kept the motorbikes as well.
Social conditioning has changed for the better.

My understanding is that it relates to social norms.

A women wearing trousers and smoking in 1910 - gender non conforming. By 1950 not so much.

A man changing nappies, cooking and using the washing machine in the 1970s - gender non conforming. Not so much for a millennial.

A woman in 2025 who dresses in jeans, wears no make up, does her own diy - nothing to see here really.

A man wearing high heels, make up and a long wig in 1790 - gender conforming

A boy in 2025 wearing make up and a dress, who still thinks of himself as a boy - gender non conforming

A male in 2025 wearing make up and a dress and thinking of himself as a woman - gender stereotyping.