Who‘s coming to FiLIA?

[lanadelgrey]

I‘m starting to get excited.
Are there plans for a MN meetup?

This is not just dismissive of the amount of pressure the organisers will have been under, running an 80-session conference over three days with 2,500 women, while dealing with active attacks from TRAs, its actively misogynist.

Have a word with yourself.

Re the hijab stall - it wouldn't have just been selling hijabs - it would have been selling hijabs to raise money for a cause. There is a list of stall holders here https://archive.li/cEuLK if anyone wants to research.

There were also a number of speakers wearing a variety of head coverings - should they have been ejected for setting a bad example / not being sufficiently enlightened?

This is getting to the level of unacceptable personal attacks which you’re not going to be able to back up with evidence. You sound as if you have a personal vendetta against Tinsel & you’re not doing yourself or anyone you claim to be speaking for any credit.

Women can cover their hair if they want, I'm not going to stop them.

But selling hijabs at a feminist conference is a bit like selling fur caps at a PETA promotion.

This comment doesn't remotely understand why family members do not speak out.

It has fuck all to do with any individual, and everything to do with social taboos and not wishing to cause even greater harm and distress to family.

There's fuck all preventing me from going to the media and talking about this. The idea that tinsel has some kind of magical power that prevents anyone else from going public is abject bloody nonsense.

Im really shocked at the personal attacks and it doesn't dispell any of my concerns about Filia and my perception that it's elitist and for a certain 'in crowd'.

Blackpool is in my patch, but i see the attacks on Aja, who i understand had nothing to do with the disco nonsense, and i see racism and classism. On that basis, being working class (as is about 90% of Blackpool) and im not sure i would be comfortable in that environment.

Its interesting that Filia have clarified just one person's name in the 'who wasn't thrown out' statement but left others with suspicion hanging over them.

I'm sorry this happening to you Tinsel, it's not any consolation but I'm sure the bigots would be attacking Aja here too if it wasn't for @mnhq having tighter anti-racist moderation than X.

2 people disliking 2 other people doesn’t a conspiracy make, and you trying to assimilate what you have been through (=not being invited) to the unfounded racism Aja is experiencing, well …

Main character energy.

Who do you mean by "the bigots" here?

Sense of humour by-pass. I laughed out loud at @Thingybob 's post.

If it's any comfort, as an objective observer who doesn't know either you or the person having a go, they're the one coming over as behaving in an unpleasant manner, not you.

The racist FiLiA organisers and supporters attacking Aja on X.

I've not been involved in Filia at all, I've just been lurking reading this thread, I started reading it when it was posted as I was originally thinking of going then decided against it as I was nervous of it being in Brighton and I know nobody and would be going myself.

I was nervous about the tras. Now it seems I should really have been wary of certain women inside the conference. It does seem now like you are being slandered on here and others on x. Just for not towing the line? Doesn't seem very feminist to me. Sorry Filia, I'm out, until this changes I won't attend any.

I'm afraid this just amplifies the misogyny - the traditional dismissal of women calling out misogyny has long been "where's your sense of humour, love?" I'm surprised you aren't aware of this.

I haven't seen any Filia organiser attack Aja, I just saw reference to a Substack article by MH that smeared her.

MH knows she's F'ed up and has apologised this morning. That's what the Filia organisers should have done as soon as their mistakes became apparent. I know they've been busy but come on they need to find time to put out some statement even if it's just "We are very sorry for any upset caused at the weekend. We will be putting out a full statement in due course"

Sorry if I offended you Annie, I'm just frustrated by Filias lack of any action or statement.

God, do you even hear yourself with your prim, patronising tone. This is one of the many reasons I gave up on feminism first time round.

I considered attending FiLia, partly because I knew some women going and I thought it would be fun to spend time with them. I decided against it in the end because it was blindingly obvious that it is feminism as a subset of socialism and that other views would not be approved. It has proved to be exactly that.

It is ironic that FiLia accepts that men cannot be women, but then excludes maybe half the female population from its idea of feminism.

Thanks, @Thingybob. I do understand the need for a statement, of course I do - but I'm also very familiar with being part of a very small team, when you are both physically and emotionally exhausted, and want to take time to do something properly rather than rush into a statement that inflames things further.

I hope they put out a statement soon, but I know I wouldn't be capable of it. I got home v late Sunday, slept all day Monday, and am overwhelmed with catching up with all my day job stuff I've missed.

Could this have been handled better? Absolutely, yes. But Im also inclined to give a bit of time and grace to a small group of women who have spent two years setting this up, and who did deliver a lot of really good sessions for several thousand women in some really trying cirumstances, and who are, I'd bet, utterly, utterly miserable at how it's been overshadowed by all this. I'm not saying everyone has to offer them a bit of grace (and its clear from this thread women who weren't even there are angry about it all), but that's where I am at this point.

I try to go, when I can, to all kinds of feminist events, and I want as many of them as possible to survive. If I was thinking of setting up a big feminist event now, I'd look at how this has unfolded, and probably decide I'd not bother, because unless it's perfect, it's going to be torn apart.

I feel like such a fool. Of course I shouldn’t have answered Tinsel’s repeated requests to explain my many issues with her behaviour- I resisted for a while but eventually explained. And of course it was immediately reported to Mumsnet and deleted.
What is the protocol if you intensely dislike a person’s behaviour and you’re asked to explain why? How do I describe horrible behaviour without it getting framed as an “attack” on the person?
Also why on earth are tinsel and Aja being grouped together?

This isn’t an appropriate place to make personal attacks on other mumsnettters, whatever the circumstances. I’m not surprised your posts were deleted.

I've kept my thoughts to myself as I wasn't there but now I feel compelled to speak up:

@Thingybob's post - yesterday 19.51 - made me laugh.

It was funny in the context of the post it was replying too. Sometimes a joke is just a joke, and not the pretext for a struggle session

me too, it was light relief!

If you all found it funny, then fine. Call me humourless, a prude, whatever you like. But there's been a lot of women distressed this weekend, a lot of women's work over a very long time (on all sides) overshadowed by this, and I don't think that should be dismissed lightly. I'm not finding a lot of the current situation all that funny. But you do you.