Man dressed as tween girl with dummy

[Shmoigel]

Today I was in a shop and there was a 20 something man in there who was 6 foot tall and wearing what could only be described as a tween girls outfit. Short skirt and crop t shirt. But he had a dummy and bear.

It really unsettled me and frightens me that this person is emboldened to act on his fetsish so publicly!

I would not actively support the right but would begrudgingly recognise that they have the right. Not sure what can be done asides from when they step over the line into female spaces.

From this description his outfit goes waaayyyyy beyond we-all-choose-to-dress-differently. There's not approving of the way someone is dressed and there is fetish gear giving the wearer a boner. Sounds like this is very much the latter rather than the former.

Why does nobody seem to be able to be pro-trans and also to distance themselves from this? Why not just say "I believe you can be born in the wrong body but this guy is obviously a crazy fetishist"? It hardly helps if you're trying to make the argument that the more ordinary trans people aren't crazy fetishists.

Agree, @JeremiahBullfrog- they’d rather go down with the ship than criticise this behaviour

I do think Grayson Perry’s dress includes an element of performance art. Possibly working out where the boundaries are, and clearly having failed to find any yet.

He doesn’t claim an identity, or to be a woman, and when cycling wears the more traditional but equally exposing MAMIL uniform.

I also struggle to understand why Grayson Perry gets a free pass. There was an excellent R4 programme with Kirsty Young where she challenged him on how his choice of girly dresses might make some women feel.
He's so sympathetic in so many ways but I do find it hard to get past the dildo at the children's charity incident.

Well, he certainly sells it as performance art.

But how can anyone justify wearing an erect dildo at a children's cancer charity event?

There's rebelling against your parents, and there's flaunting your parphillias in public with the intent of rubbing everyone else's noses in your fetishes, which is itself just another paraphillia to be added to the list.
No grown man dresses as "a sexy woman". There's nothing sexy at all about a middle aged narcissist trying to impersonate a sexy woman. It's a man with a repulsive fetish dressed grossly inappropriately and getting sexual thrills off other people's discomfort. If you want to argue that it's sexual because he's becoming sexually aroused by it, then I'll grant you that. But in no universe does the average person think he's dressed as a "sexy woman". It makes me want to vomit, and get as far away from him as quickly as I can, there's nothing "sexy" about it. Alluring and repulsive are polar opposites.

I am glad so many feel the same way. It made me feel so uncomfortable.

I have a 14 year old daughter and previously she has been quite vocal about supporting trans people no matter what. But this week she has mentioned that there is a YouTuber making women and children uncomfortable in bathrooms on TikTok (Lilytino)

She also said that on a recent youth event she went on, a teen boy was there who was “trans” but also identified as a dog. Complete with bored looking friend who was a girl holding his lead! 🤢

She has said that both have made her feel there is more too the issue and that women and girls deserve safe spaces and in her words, the right not to be part of someone’s “fetishy behaviour”

It gives me hope that the tide is turning.

Sorry in advance for the pedantry.
Grayson Perry isn't wearing a dildo, he's wearing a codpiece. It's hollow and it like a place for a man's cock to live. There's one universal property about codpieces, they are much larger than they need to be to accomodate the wearer's penis.
You know when people say big cars are men compensating for small penises, the codpiece is an even more literal version of that. "I'm going to wear this giant cock holder, so you think my cock is this large." It should comes as absolutely no surprise to anyone that nope it's not even close. It's a display like a PEA-COCK meant to show off, to make up for the wearer's dissapointment in their own inadquecies. It's like a public display of the feeling "I feel inadequate". Also it's designed to be noticed. No one wears a visible cock holder without people wanting to notice them. The same inadequacy. It's a cry for attention. Please notice me.
Blackadder wears one in in the first series, a comedy show taking the piss out of history, and the reason he wears one is to make us laugh at the absurdity of it.

Bring back shame

But Perry’s is erect, which you can’t say even about Henry VIII’s enormous one in the Holbein portrait.

Yes!

They are always erect I think. It's part of the showing off.

I was at a festival last month and kept seeing this middle-aged man larping about as a teen - tiny skirt, crop top and pink pigtails (receding hairline and all), eeuw how cute. The worst bit is he was obviously with his teenage daughter who dressed like a normal teen, not a pervert’s version of one, and seemed rather embarrassed by her dad.

She'd be shamed...

No, Perry’s one is definitely not the same as codpieces in Tudor paintings.

I think this is a good point. We would be thinking ’oh dear, what’s wrong with the lady, I hope she is OK’. We wouldn’t be admiring her or thinking she was brave.

Exactly what I was going to say

There was a time not that long ago when family, friends and peers would keep people in line on a certain level. People conformed to keep good social standing.

Now everyone is encouraged to be unique and interesting we’ve got lots of weirdos wafting about making women feeling unsafe.

It’s called progress apparently.

Here's grayson with his dildo/codpiece

That photo is mind blowing.

I have witnessed this person in Halifax. Truly bizarre. Pink skirts knee socks on. The lot. I know exactly who you mean!

i don't enjoy being in the company of anyone who displays mental illness or drug and alcohol addiction.
it makes me feel uncomfortable and at risk, i would steer clear (cross the street/exit a shop and return later).

I would not actively support the right but would begrudgingly recognise that they have the right. Not sure what can be done asides from when they step over the line into female spaces.

Why do you say they have the right?

When a man walks down the street in the cultural dress of his country, ethnic group or religion, yes, I would agree, he absolutely does have the right to do so.

When a man wants to widen the norms of what it means to be a man, and wear clothes more commonly coded as feminine, again, I agree, he absolutely does have the right to do so. As men did in the 70s and 80s.

The problem arises when a man wants to wear clothes coded as feminine, particularly those associated with childhood or with sexual attraction, in order to act out his fetish. Then, no. Absolutely, no. He does not have the right to parade his fetish in public and to co-opt others into it without their consent. It would be no different to going to Tesco in a gimp mask.