Girls Using Walking Sticks

[Arran2024]

I saw a post about this on X this morning. Apparently it is a trend.

Anyway, I went into town this afternoon and sure enough, I saw a number of young women with walking sticks. None of them looked like they were leaning hard on their stick, just kind of walking along like it was a big umbrella.

Is anyone else seeing this?

I'm disabled and have to use a mobility aid. I can't walk without one.

I'm sure some disabled people are upset. It's a very diverse group of people and we all have different opinions.

As I said above, I am not upset. I'm relieved that young women in distress choose to use a walking stick instead of becoming anorexic or bulimic, taking too many pills or using other more dangerous or destructive ways of dealing with their distress. Being a young woman is difficult. Sometimes it's easier to act out distress than to verbalize it. If using a walking stick helps some young women get through that period, I'm glad.

I definitely meet the Equalities Act definition of disabled and I really don't mind about it. Am too busy getting on with living my own life as best I can

I dont take strong exception. I just don't care. It's just not an issue. And you were really needlessly rude. And if you dont think you are disabled then thats totally your choice - noone is going to force you into it or vice versa. But for a lot of people this isnt a choice and if it is why begrudge them asking for help?

Not everything is about you. The thread was about the observed trend for young women to use walking sticks as some sort of observable identity marker.

lol but I'm not? I'm being really respectful and you are accusing me of being angry, having temper tantrums while dodging responding to any of my points. PP have pointed this out to you too.

I just cba getting into this when you just jump to personal attacks from the off. Its such a transparent and cringeworthy way to "win" an argument. But this is just a discussion and I disagree with you.

I'm saying one person cant speak for every disabled person. We are not a homogenous group. I dont care and think it has no impact - I also think its dangerous to get into this "they are fakers" mindset as pp have pointed out. But then another disabled person might strongly disagree.

As i lightheartedly pointed out to pp - we don't have a agm to discuss out groupthink!

AI is pretty amazing. I just googled ( again) "growth in young women using walking aids", and this was the AI response at the top of the search page:

"While there's no widespread, statistically significant "trend" of young women using walking aids as a fashion statement, some young women are increasingly using walking sticks or canes for mobility assistance due to various reasons, including injuries, disabilities, or simply as a fashion accessory, according to a discussion on Mumsnet"_

Haha!

And I have been politely pointing out that may not be what is going on here, or not solely what is going on here. And specifically, trying to explain that you cannot see disability. Hidden disabilities are just as disabling and just as valid. There isn't a hierarchy of disability based on how visible it is.

I'm curious what's "not real" about a condition that causes me to be unable to swallow or speak clearly (or at all sometimes) if I am active for more than a few minutes at a time?

I didn't say that. Despite your quotation marks, I didn't say that. Point out to me where I said that.

If you're going to hallucinate something I didn't say, attribute it to me and then expect me to humour you with a polite discussion about sealions, you are sadly mistaken.

Please don't tag me again.

Yes largely agree with what you say except I would just add to say that CAMHS in particular will usually/often categorise dysfunctional behaviour/self harm/suicidal ideation/sick role or illness behaviour etc etc as 'behavioural'. The young person isnt give a MH diagnosis.

So while I and my colleagues might loosely term what is going on for someone 'poor mental health', its not a MH condition as such, according to the MH teams.

This is much more about choosing and wanting an identity that links into something, rather than a neurosis or psychosis - usually.

I can't point it out because your post has been deleted. Which should give you pause for thought.

Is anyone on here actually arguing that hidden disabilities are not debilitating or valid? This isn’t what this thread is about and is certainly not the OP’s argument. I think you are arguing against a strawman.

Yes, we know. But it is also very much a contemporary concern that there seems to be a huge increase in the number of young people not functioning in society because of mental health issues. The disability benefit's bill, for example, is now 40% young people with mental health issues. These young people are claiming disability benefits.

Mental health issues and trans identities have a definite over-lap - as evidenced by the clinicians at GIDS and the subsequent Cass Report. If some young people are expressing their personal distress through assuming a disabled identity then this needs to be looked at.

Nobody is suggesting the physical symptioms are not there ( I'm not talking about you personally) but that the root cause of many vague, and energy debilitating, conditions may well be pyscho-social in origin.

It was deleted because someone reported it. That's how it works. And there is a certain weary resignation on this board regarding that.

I don't think I am. There are lots of comments on this thread that implicitly or explicitly stigmatise or minimise certain invisible disabilities

Please explain which " vague and energy debilitating conditions" you are referring to?

Oh, are you accusing me of reporting it? On what basis?

No, you have concluded these are mental health issues. You cannot and do not know that.
And it's a deeply unpleasant assertion

I mentioned before that my adopted daughters' birth mother embarked on a dangerous programme of fictitious illness by proxy against one of them and another sibling. Both nearly died. My daughter still suffers from the ongoing effects of what happened to her.

I have a huge problem with fictitious illness as a result.

And that's the thing about discussion - we can all bring interesting perspectives based on our own experiences.

At one point my daughter was in a wheelchair due to the bones in her feet being affected by steroids. My other daughter loved pushing her around, and she loved it too. The two of them would have continued this way past the point it was required because they both like the codependency, the attention they got, the role playing. Now, due to their early life experiences they both have significant trauma and are constantly on the look out for new strategies.

They both get PIP, but for hidden disabilities. I am not happy for them to start appropriating mobility disability in this way. I think it is disrespectful, takes resources away from people who genuinely need them ( like the place in the bus for a wheelchair), and it stops them from developing more useful, appropriate coping strategies.

Hyperfixating on fictitious illness to the point you’re judging strangers and trying to figure out how genuine their disability is is not healthy. Bottom line.

No one said it isn’t dangerous but the way you are so singularly minded and viewing any disabled people as potential liars doesn’t help anyone. It doesn’t help disabled people and it doesn’t help victims of fictitious by proxy or even fictitious sufferers themselves.

Again, your absolute focus on this single issue makes me think you would benefit from therapy over this issue.

Your daughter's sound deeply traumatised. Most young people haven't had that experience and it's a bit strange to extrapolate from that to young people as a whole.

Being in a wheelchair is annoying and awkward in my experience but worth it if it gives you some life back when you would otherwise be trapped at home.

Well yeah, I think I'm out of this thread. Apart from the annoyance of being repeatedly tagged by someone I've repeatedly asked not to tag me, it's impossible to have a discussion on the basis of things I didn't say, but someone says I said, and conveniently the posts that would demonstrate I didn't say those things were nuked.

Jesus, if I'd any patience for this sort of carry on I'd be in the SWP.

Fair enough, but the thread imo has turned to judging people on whether they have a disability or not just by looking at them. I don't count myself as disabled, but I certainly have mobility difficulties at times, manageable atm.

I, in my late 60s, use a lovely looking sturdy folding walking stick, almost always in my bag, to show when I need to that I am not as quick as others. Yes, I need it for balance sometimes, for steps without handrails, and confidence. It's also useful in crowded places to stop people barging into me, I'd probably fall.

It started well over a decade ago, when on uni tours I couldn't keep up with the young energetic guides. Using the stick meant they were more aware that their pace might not suit everyone, and got me directed to lifts. I think that's a fair use. I was reluctant to get one, as it wasn't strictly necessary, and the judgement, but I was right to get it, and use it.