Girls Using Walking Sticks

[Arran2024]

I saw a post about this on X this morning. Apparently it is a trend.

Anyway, I went into town this afternoon and sure enough, I saw a number of young women with walking sticks. None of them looked like they were leaning hard on their stick, just kind of walking along like it was a big umbrella.

Is anyone else seeing this?

It's not a competition though for who is more disabled than someone else. Everyone has their own different experiences and they are all valid. Just because you may not know exactly what someone else's disability is and because it doesn't look the same as yours doesn't make it less true. There are so so many different conditions people live with it's impossible to know how each person is affected. I got one am really glad that disabled people are getting out and about in the community, wearing lovely colourful clothes and hair styles and feeling good about themselves instead of being shut away like they used to be.

Edit to add sorry my post was more in response to @apples24

As far as I'm concerned it isn't possible to separate a question about the demographics of walking stick usage from the wider issue of disability in general. It's inevitable that some people have shared what they have considered to be relevant information about their own experiences, especially considering how inflammatory/flippant/scathing various people on this thread have been on the topic. And it seems a bit rich that you're now trying to dictate that we are not to share disability experiences on here, when upthread you were grilling a pp about their condition and whether it was 'formally diagnosed' and then labelled them touchy for wondering why you should ask that. 🤔

You commented upthread that people sometimes lie about having cancer, which sadly some do; however, most decent human beings wouldn't dream of asking if a cancer patient was 'formally diagnosed', or say anything else that even hinted they might not really have cancer. Why then are disabled people expected to constantly justify themselves to others, let alone put up with a constant barrage of scepticism, sneering and accusations of attention-seeking etc etc such as has been seen on this thread? (I don't just mean your posts btw.)

Like I said before, if people don't want disability discussed on FWR, they shouldn't discuss disability on FWR. You can't honestly expect a thread topic of this nature not to lead to a wider discussion of disability, regardless of whereabouts on MN it's positioned.

It’s part of her personality. Identity is a new made up thing.

I like walking, reading and gardening. I don’t identify as a walker, reader or gardener.

Lots of people self diagnose with various neurological disorders these days ( ADHD, Autism etc), and as you must know certain neurological disorders are classed as disabilities.

I'm not sure why there is so much preciousness in relation to someone asking whether someone have a formal diagnosis and what that is? It is just information, surely....which helps strangers on an internet forum get a sense for your condition.

As I see it the OP post was not about the 'demographics' of walking stick use, but about the steep upsurge in young women using walking aids and how this might relate to 'identity'. A subtle difference, and one about which we are going to have to disagree. So, maybe you can continue with your own separate theme with others who are interested in it, whilst others can continue on theirs?

I'm not sure there is anything to be gained by further dialogue with you on this board.

What's your definition of the word disabled, then? Presumably if you think the meaning's being eroded then the word must have a very specific meaning for you?

I think some of the conflict that has arisen on this thread is because some have taken it upon themselves to castigate others and attempt to close down conversations - and as those who post here regularly will know, this is something we have become very much accustomed to though emananting from different quarters. It kind of feels the same, though.

Actually being disabled for a start. Not buying a walking stick as some attention seeking fashion accessory because having blue hair, wearing neon green dungarees, tattooing your face and telling everyone you’re so quirky isn’t special enough anymore.

People on this thread can’t wrap their heads around disability appropriation being a real thing. It is a real thing, it’s really happening. It’s offensive and dangerous.

Of course identity isn't a new made up thing!! How odd

The way the word is used now, in the sense of 'identity politics', is a neologism. Only around for about a decade, and symptomatic of collective mania. People in the past, even obsessive ones, didn't 'identify' as nationalists or anorexics or cyclists or whatever.

Yes, this is feeling pretty pointless now so let's leave it. The cancer analogy was intended to demonstrate why it's not 'precious' to mind being asked if a diagnosis is formal, but you don't seem open to my point and I don't personally agree that the phenomenon under discussion is problematic, so I agree the conversation has run its course.

Are you autistic, @Serencwtch?

Because I am (formally diagnosed by the NHS, before you ask) and so is my DD (who uses Neowalk sticks for joint hypermobility issues).

My 'patronizing and ignorant view of autism' is my personal lived experience as an autistic person. Sorry if it doesn't match YOUR view of autism.

And my entire post was about ADHD, anyway. 🤣

Interesting. I realise you may not want to say and that's fine, but which part of Bristol? I am from and live in Bristol and haven't seen this trend at all amongst the younger ladies. I am probably the youngest lady I see using one of these sticks!

I'm a different generation (mid 40s). I have one of these sticks which I bought to help me with a debilitating and diagnosed neurological issue causing muscle tightness, poor balance and stiffness after an adverse reaction to an antipsychotic medication I was on for MH issues back in my 20s. I sometimes keep my stick in a bag or sometimes use it and lean heavily on it (cannot stand for any length of time). My team at the Rosa Burden (Southmead Hospital) don't want to me to rely on it all the time, but I still fall if I'm not careful (or sometimes even if I am). I am obese so I think people must assume I use it for joint issues.

I do wear a lanyard, and carry a disabled bus pass. I happen to also have been in treatment for CPTSD, OCD and BPD/EUPD for a number of years.

I had no idea I was so fashionable!! 😂

I can very much hear how concerned you are about that. But I don't think there's any getting away from the fact that that girl in neon green with the blue hair and the tattooed face is just as likely to be disabled as anyone else. Why so certain she's not, just because of how she's presenting, or because there are a lot of other women with walking sticks who look like her? Do you not think it's a tad arrogant to assume it's nothing but a fashion statement?

If there are attractive walking sticks on the market, of course some young/fashion-conscious women are going to be drawn to them over a traditional stick. Assuming for a moment that these sticks are needed (because tbh I have a hunch most of them probably are), can you really not see what a bitter blow it could be for a young woman to need a walking stick, and how choosing a quirky stick might help cushion the blow a little? I'm not even convinced many young adults would want to use a stick if they didn't have to, regardless how a few influencers might position themselves. It'd be a frustrating thing to have to drag around all day just to appropriate a certain image. There are so many other ways for a young adult to look distinctive if they want to.

Here's a question. I've just started needing to use a stick from time to time myself in my late fifties due to RA and various other pain issues, and my new stick is purple with a floral pattern. On a bad day it's very much needed. Presumably I'm not jumping on the bandwagon too? No, I wouldn't be accused of that, would I, because I'm pushing 60 and it's less unusual for women of my age to need a walking aid. What I'm getting at is that I think there are a lot of assumptions made that just because someone is young means they can't possibly need support when walking. Sadly that's just not true.

I understand that some ppl who believe they are disabled have not been diagnosed and that some of them will probably never meet the diagnostic criteria for the disorder they think they have. I think a few are consciously faking but most are distressed. Some of the distressed people unconsciously mimic disabilities.

The problem is that it also takes a very long time for many people to get diagnosed. It took me over four years to get an MRI for a spinal tumour. Until then, I was accused, even by doctors, of faking my symptoms. I had to go to psychotherapy for years before I finally convinced them to give me an MRI (something I had literally begged for in the beginning because I was in so much pain).

I know several women with similar stories. It is extremely common for women to be disbelieved and our problems written off as being hysterical overexaggeration or pure malingering that those silly wimz just automatically do for attention. So I am very sympathetic to women, esp young women, who are not believed about their disability.

What I think is crazy is some of the assumptions people have about disabilities being fake. I have seen the following kind of illogical assumptions on social media:

Buying a nice walking stick instead of using a grey NHS crutch as an indicator of faking

(never mind that NHS crutches are unwieldy and heavy, I couldn't use either a metal or a wooden one; also its a huge assumption that the NHS provides everything. I spent years avoiding the NHS after my reaction to meds causing the disability; I had little faith in doctors anyway. Nowadays the NHS is skint. I used my PIP (was DLA then) to buy my stick. I had to buy the claw foot for mine as I use it for balance, an NHS bung wouldn't be much good)

Not leaning heavily on the stick, not limping, or having an obviously uneven gait is an indicator of faking

Well, my gait does sometimes look quite odd if you spend time with me to notice. Fatigue, level of pain, how much I've done etc all affect me. Often I may walk just fine!

Using a stick for some excursions and not others is an indicator of faking

Nope. absolutely nope. Some conditions fluctuate or vary. But its never far away. its bloody horrible living with this. (and yes, i know some are worse off, that's not the point). No exercise means I get worse, and end up unable to move much at all. But I'm limited in what sort of exercise I can do.

Talking about it a lot on SM is faking

When you become part of the disabled community it becomes a big part of you. I aually had a virus aged 12 that turned into ME/CFS so I've been part of the disabled community for a long time even before the stick and SM. It does become a huge adjustment as a young person, it dominates your life, your freinds leave you, you feel alone. You need someone to talk to. Back then I joined a community via post for young people with ME, they had their own newsletter and pen pal system. Now I discuss my mental health to raise awareness and I now support other people as a peer mentor online. Is that making it part of your identity?

One I've had personally levlled at me is But your family don't mention the struggled you're having Uh, I mentioned CPTSD. Do you imagine that my family would admit that I had been abused? Not everyone with disability has normal parents!!!

I'm not saying this trend doesn't exist but I'm not sure we can be so sure that everybody is faking. It seems like this could become a new "stick" (I couldn't think of a better pun) to beat the Spoonie (I wear that with pride!) and ND communities with tbh.

Good grief, that's horrendous! Sorry to hear you went through that.

Apparently that’s fine so long as you don’t also have a glittery stick, blue hair, dungarees, youthful appearance, ADHD or autism, or an instagram account where you get happy about your stick.

(sarcasm!)

Oh good grief!! Ok..

@electric69 I couldn't agree more with your entire post, but especially this bit:

When you become part of the disabled community it becomes a big part of you. I had a virus aged 12 that turned into ME/CFS so I've been part of the disabled community for a long time even before the stick and SM. It does become a huge adjustment as a young person, it dominates your life, your friends leave you, you feel alone. You need someone to talk to. Back then I joined a community via post for young people with ME, they had their own newsletter and pen pal system. Now I discuss my mental health to raise awareness and I now support other people as a peer mentor online. Is that making it part of your identity?

I don't think that people who are unaffected by disability can even begin to understand what it's like, especially when young, and how it can isolate you. You need someone to talk to who actually gets it, has lived experience like you do, who doesn't spend the whole conversation tilting their head and doing tinkly bloody MN laughs and coming out constantly with unsolicited suggestions that start with 'Why don't you just...' or 'Have you tried...'. Or, when you have a disabled child, 'Well, I wouldn't accept that sort of nonsense from my (non-disabled!!) child.'

When you find the people whose lives are like yours, you find your community and it does become a huge part of your identity. Not something you celebrate, of course, whether it's your own disability or your child's (or both, in my case). But when you have something going on that literally affects every aspect of your life, it's hard NOT to consider it part of your identity. And talking about it publicly, which I guess would include Instagram (which I don't use, I'm too old for that sort of nonsense) is a fantastic way to spread awareness and understanding and help others feel less isolated.

The thought that people would see my DD using her stick with her (partly) coloured hair, and see me next to her wearing my dungarees, and assume that either/both of us have no disabilities and are just following a fashion trend... well, as I've probably put across on this thread, it gets my autistic sense of injustice VERY MUCH fired up. I'm sure there are a small number of individuals who are either consciously or subconsciously pretending that they have a mobility issue that they don't actually have. But I'm also pretty sure it's a VERY small number. Some of us have taken the time to explain exactly why neurodivergent young women might be much more likely to need a walking stick than other young people. And why the sparkly colourful NeoWalk sticks might appeal to them, given that they need to use a stick anyway. And still posters are coming out with stuff like "buying a walking stick as some attention seeking fashion accessory because having blue hair, wearing neon green dungarees, tattooing your face and telling everyone you’re so quirky isn’t special enough anymore." On what planet is that OK?

This is FWR and I've been here a long time and am gender critical as fuck. I am not into identity politics AT ALL. And I still don't think it's OK for us to be picking up on something that affects a lot of young women (not men) and assuming they are faking it. If my vulnerable DD read this thread she'd probably stop using her sticks entirely, and we'd be back to being housebound or me attempting to carry a fucking teenager home because she's crying in pain having tried to overdo the walking without any support. Because she'd be so worried that people are looking at her out in public and assuming she's following some sort of fucking fashion trend.

Yes @BlibBlabBlob! Very well said.

I remember finding a bunch of young women on Yahoo groups (yes, I’m that old) who had the same obscure condition as me. Omg, the relief was massive.

The isolation pain of young disabled women has been wonderfully reduced by social media facilitating connections.

Its almost like we have forgotten that people have likes and dislikes, preferences, choices, habits. Thats what makes us human, we all have them, we dont have to 'identify' as a shopper or a telly watcher or a cake eater.

Part of the disconnect that many feel probably stems from the assumption that disability is something brought about by organic disease or by structural damage or dysfunction...that is what most people generally think of as 'disabled'. People who have lost a limb; are paralysed; blind; in advanced stages of Motor Neurone disease or Parkinson's and so on.

Whereas what we now see are an increasing number of people being classified as 'disabled' because of neurological disorders, of the type which are sometimes difficult to define, or to label, or difficult to identify or test using conventional medical method. Sometimes the conditions can seem vague or ambiguous. People suffering from fatigue and muscular aches; occasional numbness in limbs; digestive disturbances; migraines; depression, anxiety; Long Covid; ME and so on....

Even something like Plantar Fascitis can be classed as a disability ( and which is something I have recently been suffering from; or Epilepsy...which i have suffered from in the past, and which my husband started suffering around about the time of Covid) These sorts of conditions many people don't really think of as disabilities, but just as conditions which one has to live with and adapt to. Many people suffer from repetitive conditions which compromise their life or function some times and in certain ways.

“Identity” as in “I identify as” and misused in place of “personality” or “I am” most certainly is, as is the idea that anyone has an “identity” that defines them rather than a personality that is expressive of who they are.

I don’t think that it was in general use even ten years ago.

No one used to 'identify as' (usually as some marginalized or perceived oppressed group) years ago, You just were.

And isnt odd how people dont seem to 'identify' as anything other than vulnerable/marginalised/discriminated against groups?

Who identifies as aristocracy?
Who identifies as white middle class?
Who identifies as clever?
Who identifies as fit and healthy?
Who identifies as able?
Who identifies as mentally well?

I think it's being put upon and assumed that these young women 'identify' as disabled, by posters on here.