Girls Using Walking Sticks

[Arran2024]

I saw a post about this on X this morning. Apparently it is a trend.

Anyway, I went into town this afternoon and sure enough, I saw a number of young women with walking sticks. None of them looked like they were leaning hard on their stick, just kind of walking along like it was a big umbrella.

Is anyone else seeing this?

It's certainly easier to back out of it.

But it's not a healthy way to cope.

Another thing I've heard on SM, and IRL as a disabled person:

You have all these diagnoses

Because some of them overlap!

Regarding this "trend", if it is a trend, of young ladies and their sticks, if some of them are on the spectrum they may be more likely to suffer complex trauma and related trauma based diagnoses may overlap like BPD/EUPD, OCD, anxiety, self harm. sometimes issues like FND, MS, Fibromyalgia, ME/CFS are linked to high cortisol levels due to chronic trauma often. I don't find it hard to believe so many people have multiple diagnoses or even self diagnoses. EDS/hypermobility often linked to ASD. There are so much overlap with these conditions and often doctors won't agree on a diagnosis so it all gets added to patient notes .

I recall a comment on MN once that it's never wheelchair users complaining about their spoons as if Lupus, Fibro, ME/CFS etc sufferers are never full time wheelchair or ambulatory wheelchair users. I seem to recall that the Spoon Theory was written by someone with Lupus which can be extremely debilitating and at its worst even life limiting.

For those that think well isn't trauma overused now consider what sort of things trauma can mean for a young person. Bullying, sexual abuse, domestic abuse, emotional abuse, alcoholic parents or caregivers, etc. Are these things not actually common?

Just ressurrecting this thread, because of some observations I've made over the past few weeks. I've been away on business, still in the UK, but very different areas demographically to my home city. My home city seems to have a disproportionately large number of trans identified people and while it's not exactly Brighton it does have a heavy presence of that lefty/artsy/alternative/studenty/LGBTQ+ thing about it.

While I was away I saw plenty of walking sticks and mobility scooters but they were almost exclusively used by middle aged people who I would describe euphemistically as probably 'disadvantaged' and then lots of elderly people. Not youngsters, and in fact there were very few of the non-binary, blue haired, dungereed type kids at all, disabled or otherwise, yet this area of the UK has probably one of the highest number of disabled people per head of the community in the whole of the UK. There was plenty of disability in evidence, just not apparent among the demographic being discussed on this thread.

In three weeks I only once saw two; two girls of around 18-20, out together, both with walking sticks and lanyards, both had bright pink hair, one was definitely disabled (visually impaired) the other just looked 'delicate' and exceptionally thin. But she was dressed up to the nines, full face of quite theatrical make up, bright pink hair and very contrived/stylised outfit designed to be very 'look at me' in a very overtly 'girly' style. Think puffy tutu, big bow in her hair, bright pink tights, very high heels, etc.

But in all those weeks away, and lots of time spent in highly populated places, and brief visits to two big city centres, that's all I saw. Not one person who I would say caught my eye as trans or probably non-binary.

On the day I arrived home, (I flew) I saw two young people together, both trans, at a London airport, upon arrival. One biological male who was either trans or non-binary, with long, curled hair and make up, and one biological female, with a typically mannish haircut, the beginnings of a beard, and a chest that was obviously under a chest binder, but still very obviously biologally female. The trans man went into the men's loo while their male trans-woman (or maybe non-binary) partner waited outside. Interestingly, all the men going in were turning left, presumably to the urinals, where this person I noted went in, paused for a moment, then turned right. Presumably to a cubicle. I wonder how men feel about biological women being in their space when they are using communal urinals? Obviously they are not at the same sort of threat of harm as women, but I can't imagine it's a very comfortable feeling either, getting their knob out to pee knowing a woman is right behind them. and I wonder if the trans-man themselves feels a sense of imposter syndrome when it is so immediately obvious why they need the cubicle, and that they are not in possession of a penis?

Then I went into my home city the very next day. Within ten mins of being out of the car park I encountered two girls (not together) who looked non-binary, both with blue/green hair, lanyards and walking sticks. I was around the town centre for about two hours in all and I also saw one biological man in his fifties or sixties who was dressed in a very cartoonish interpretation of womanhood, high heels, fishnets and a fifties style red gingham knee lenght dress with a cinched waist, big net petticoats, dinky little handbag in the crook of his elbow, you get the picture.

Then, about an hour later I saw another man, 65-70, who looked like a completely regular bloke from the chest up, bald head, no make up, no jewellery, but his outfit was bizarre. He had man's pink t-shirt on, over skin tight, wet look, ladies black leggings that finished halfway up his calves, and very high black stiletto sandals which he was tottering around in.

Neither of these men 'passed' as women in any way whatsoever, and it didn't look like they were particularly trying to either, although they were both clearly very happy to draw attention to themselves. They just looked very fetishy.

I do think there is a definite parallel to be drawn between the political and social demographic of an area and the number of non-binary/trans/spoonie/young female walking stick users in the area. As I said, given the national statistics on disability rates in various areas across the UK, I'd have expected to see far more in the area I had travelled to for work, but I saw far, far fewer. I saw three times as many in two hours at home as I saw in three weeks in the other place.

It seems that certain disabilities afflicting certain types of (mainly young) people are not equally represented across the country, which is weird.

Seeing more and more of these in Central London - particularly noticeable one at lunchtime at Covent Garden with flashy Union Jack stick that she seemed to be carrying more than using to lean on/walking assistance. Aged 20s, black linen flowy dress, boots, long mohawk style haircut - shaved sides... multi coloured mismatched socks. Not that any of that matters...

When I got home remember the stick and googled and came across this site;
https://www.coolcrutches.com/collections/summer-sale

Very interesting that their blog photos are mainly depicting pages and pages of young girls and not octogenarians (or worn out older people) who you'd think would be their main demographic for crutches.
https://www.coolcrutches.com/blogs/news

No judgement, but I personally feel there is a bit of a trend / fad going on at the mo.

Their online quiz is interesting, I did it (I actually do have osteoarthritis and use a stick occasionally, so I answered appropriately). At the end of the quiz it says:

Please note: The information provided in this quiz is not medical advice, all recommendations are based on experience selling and using mobility aids. If you are unsure about your symptoms or require medical advice, please do consult your doctor or relevant medical professional.

Which rather implies that they’re well aware that some of their prospective customers really don’t have diagnosed medical conditions.

OTOH the backstory is genuine and convincing and their products do seem to satisfy a genuine need among younger people (and others) who would prefer personalised walking aids.

I wonder if part of it is not (or not only) that the coloured-hair crowd are more likely to pretend to be disabled, but that genuinely disabled young people (at least women) are more likely to join the coloured-hair crowd. Let's face it, the whole dressing like an anime character thing does tend to appeal more to people who are outsiders in some way, and maybe the physically disabled are often drawn to that scene for the same reasons as people with autism, social awkwardness etc are. People above mentioned the importance of online communities for disabled people: but it's very easy for people in intense online communities of any type to get sucked into the whole Tumblr/Tumblresque scene with its particular ideas of what looking cool looks like.

I was in Manchester and it happened to be pride. I noticed so many that I have searched for them! All seemed to be in the blue haired demographic!

I see so many more trans people when I'm in the UK than in my country of residence (in Europe).

I honestly can't imagine being out and about and playing "spot the trans person" (you searched for them? Why?!)
That's..... extra.
Blue hair = trans is something you only ever see on here as well, it's so bizarre. Whereas in reality having cool coloured hair is just that - having cool coloured hair. Not always an LGBT thing.

I am not sure if it is primarily the wacky hair and clothes choices or the age of the young women whose movements and appearance you have been scrutinising which has led you to the conclusion that they are not physically disabled and therefore must be carrying a walking stick purely as a fashion statement, though I suspect it is a combination of the two factors.
I will share my own experience with you in the hope that it will help broaden your horizons, illustrate that people don't fit into nice neat categories and remind you that it is rarely a good idea to judge a book simply by its cover.
I was born with a disability, born without eyes. Growing up surrounded more or less entirely by fully-sighted people I became aware that I was known, primarily, as 'the blind girl'. When you are a child with an immediately obvious and othering disability it can quickly become your defining feature, however much you fervently hoped that people might think of you as primarily clever or kind or a talented musician or funny or any other aspect of your personality first. This is because, as demonstrated frequently on this thread, it is human nature to make quick snap judgements based on a first look at a person and make all kinds of assumptions about their character and abilities accordingly.
I had a great number of hobbies and interests as a child and teenager which I entered into with gusto, partially because I loved those things but also partly because I hoped it would lead me to meeting other children who I could connect with mainly through our shared passions and accomplishments and that would form the basis of our relationship and would stop every conversation from regressing to endless questions about my blindness. I have always answered such questions as I know people, especially children, are just curious and I am also a natural people-pleaser, but having every new person you meet from childhood onwards, adults as well as kids, immediately asking often quite personal and repetitive questions about your disability can get a bit waring when it's more or less constant.
As a teenager I adopted a deliberately distinctive style of dress and also dyed my hair bright colours, usually pink or purple. I figured that, since I was going to stand out even if I kept my wardrobe uniformly monochrome, I might as well have fun and express my personality while doing so. It certainly worked at university, I made a lot of friends and conversational openers usually ran along the lines of compliments about my hair or clothes rather than embarrassing questions about how I get dressed or eat or offers to feel the face of someone I'd just met, this happened more often than you would believe. Yes, I was being judged on something superficial, but at least it was something I had chosen and had control over.
In short, it seems completely understandable to me that young women with disabilities may wish to present themselves in distinctive ways and I hope my first hand account will have changed your perspective of the motivations of the people you see carrying walking aids while not wearing a twin set and pearls.
I'm now a mum in my late 30s and, while my dresses are a more conservative length than in my teens and early twenties, I still favour bright and quirky prints and I certainly don't dress to blend in!

I take your point entirely and don't disagree with it.

I still think the walking stick thing is part of an identity fad among a specific cohort of young women who don't have very obvious physical disabilities such as yours, but who are keen to be recognised as disabled, whereas most people would usually be keen not to be, if that makes sense.

Nothing anyone says is going to persuade me that this is not the case. My particular city is full of them. It's also apparently one of the places with the highest concentration of trans identified people in the UK.

There's a differernce where I live too between the towns and rural areas, and the city. The girls with walking stick seems to be an entirely city thing.

Interestingly the males doing it all seem to be TiMs. I'd say it's very female coded for whatever reason.

Sorry I didn’t see this sooner!

In my case it’s just because my hair is such an awful colour that I genuinely hate it- basically it’s poo coloured…

I’m not very alternative otherwise really but I’ve found my hair is a real demonstration of who I am. I love it my colour and style and it’s practical too. It also works really well in my job as people tend to see me as more normal rather than a pretentious professional.