The Bluestocking - where the laugh emoji is sorely missed.

[MyrtleLion]

Welcome to the Bluestocking Arms!

The company is always sparkling, the drinks are always sublime, and the cakes are mysteriously free from gluten, sugar, calories, and troublesome booze… not that you’d ever notice. 😏

Our enthusiastic team of gerbil waitstaff is ably supported by capybaras, quokkas, and other charming creatures who excel at their jobs while looking outrageously adorable.

You will find many things to laugh at - usually out loud - so take care not to spit out your tea. We are considering a petition for the return of the laugh emoji - just as soon as the AI gerbils learn how to spell.

New Bluestockingers are always welcome. Men can pop along to The Staunch Ally nearby.

Currently also knitting a Woolly Hug blanket for Bluestockinger Swashbuckled. Details here if you can knit or crochet a square before the 18 July.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5350941-woolly-hugs-desperately-sad-news-we-are-afraid-making-a-blanket-for-lovely-swashbuckled-whose-son-has-tragically-died

Is she on shift this morning?

Would not want to bump into one of those! I suppose they live in setts like ordinary badgers?

No, please no, it erupted out of Tír na Nóg and is now SAFELY locked at the bottom of a lake by a holy saint and it cannot get out again.

She is, and is wondering why she is so popular today. Poor little thing is rushed off her feet.

This is where we need a 'Ohh thanks, don't mind if I do' reaction emoji😃

Igneo, I happen to have been researching the nutritional merits of different kinds of nuts this morning - I know, I know!
but recently I've been hearing a lot about the benefits of eating lots of different kinds of foods and I wondered about the variety of nutrients in nuts - so I'm sure you'll be thrilled to hear that pistachios are a good source of copper, vitamin B6, and thiamin (B1).

This means you can put on a very serious face and say
'It's important I get my daily requirement of copper, B6 and B1 - oh dear I suppose I should eat some pistachios - pass me that large bowl ...'
<theatrical sigh expressing brave martyrdom in the pursuit of good health>

Thiamine is so important if you're post-viral, or drink too much . . . . . . . . . . tea.

I eat walnuts to get the good fats; will try to diversify.

Though the fruit, nut and cheese salad I'm planning for lunch will be limited to what I already have in.

Yesterday's dinner included home-grown sage, lovage, parsley, broad beans, peas, courgettes, nasturtiums, cherries and raspberries. I love this time of year.

The craft gerbils have got themselves in a bit of a knitted square mess.

Reinforcements have arrived to assist them.

That's good to know, and a decent source of fibre too, less than almonds, more than walnuts.
I looked into the 30 plants a week thing, counted and figured out that most weeks I'm at 30 different plant foods by day 3, or earlier in times like now when most of my favourite fruits are in season and we're harvesting the first crops from the polytunnel.
We're having our first beetroots and turnips for dinner tonight, not sure what I do with them yet.

Finished breakfast at 1140 (I only eat between 11 and 7). DH returned from his health check up. General adoring chitchat from but of us, particularly from me because I'd had a late night hankering for some Rich Tea biscuits (we don't keep biscuits in the house because we eat them and get fat), and DH had procured a small packet (250g) of light digestives during the weekly shop at 7am. Obviously they are NOT the same, but he did try.

Trotted upstairs for a pot of tea and to sample said biscuits when my phone reminded me that i have a dentist appointment at 1215.

So I am in the waiting room, thankful that I didn't have to brush my teeth after a mouthful of digestive, nor let my tea go cold (though I will have to empty the kettle and procure fresh water for new tea on my return).

And I have tea and biscuits to look forward to when I get home! Thank heavens for phone reminders.

We some potatoes (1st early Anya), sugarsnap and mange tout for tea yesterday that I grew 🥲 <- proud apparently.

I've also grown some beetroot, under a cloche because leafminers ruined my first attempt. They seem to be a decent size now. I have never bought or cooked beetroot. I have no idea what to do with them. They're a rainbow mix.

I mostly grow things because they look interesting. I've just sown some carrots and radishes. The last time I tried with carrots the slugs annihilated them. There must have been one survivor though. I noticed it yesterday because it's sent up a flower stalk.

The radishes look ready to be transplanted. The carrots were direct sown and nothing growing yet.

@Bannedontherun - you are a heroine!

I love all nuts, but am particularly hooked on Marmite cashew nuts. And nuts are low carb so very diabetic friendly. That’s my excuse, and I’m sticking to it.

I like to roast beetroots with a drizzle of honey and some thyme. I also eat them raw in salads. I might roast mine and make a salad with halloumi or feta.
We've grown Jazzy potatoes for a few years now and they are great. Our main harvest is another 2-3 weeks away but there were a few stray ones in a bed that had to come out because our winter squash needed to go in. It's so nice to have unexpected potatoes to harvest.

Are they? Oh good. I get through loads of pecans (not in pies 😥). Someone told me brazil nuts are good for your nails, so I got some but haven't tried it yet.

Re the fairy badger. The story wouldn't come up for me, but I do remember a Japanese folk tale about a kettle which turns into a badger - same sort of shape, apparently.

I love Boily's blocking pictures. I saw them on the WHugs thread & scrolled down the second one (In its own post), to almost squee when I found the little gerbils taking notes.😂

Beetroots are good in a salad with goat cheese or feta and walnuts.
we eat lots of different nuts, but not brazils - too much selenium iirc, though I’m sure one or two are fine.

I love beetroot - especially the balsamic pickled mini beetroot from Sainsbury’s - I buy two or three packs a week, and have them for lunch, with cold meat and coleslaw.

I’m aware I haven’t popped in for a while. I want to pop in sometimes, but don’t really know how to. I do want you to know that I am so grateful for the woolly squares of love.

As you can imagine, I’m really struggling. Sometimes it feels hard to even breathe. I still haven’t been able to lay Bear to rest because of the post-mortem. It is almost six weeks since the accident.

And, aside from the unbearable pain of Bear, there is something else that is hurting me so much. My parents live an hour and 15 mins drive away. They came to the house when we me and my daughter came back from the hospital, after they turned off Bear’s life support. They stayed for an hour and a half.

They haven’t visited since. After three weeks, my mother rang and asked if I’d mind if they went to Spain. (I was so shocked that they wanted to.) They booked flights and went to Spain for three weeks. They’re still there. So they haven’t visited in six weeks. They haven’t called, come to think of it, either.

To be honest, I don’t suppose it’s much of a surprise; they have never been loving. But I suppose I imagined that they might step up. It hurts more than it should, and the pain of it is constantly there, along with the pain of Bear.

I’m going to collect my daughter from the train station this evening and she’s staying ‘til Sunday. She couldn’t come last weekend, so I haven’t seen her for two weeks and I’m looking forward to it.

I will come back to the Blue Stocking properly. I’m just struggling at the moment. And I’m so grateful to you all for still being there for me, and holding me and Bear in your thoughts.

Love, Swashy.

Swashy I am so sorry you are not getting the support from your parents. There's not much to say except you are very much in our thoughts

Dear Swashy,
What a very hard road you are travelling. And it probably feels more like a cul de sac at present.

But we are thinking of you and Bear. I'm glad you feel able to pop in here now and again. But there's no pressure to do so.

Sending you a big Rosy Red Panda hug. X

Thanks.

I love The Blue Stocking; it has always been such a place of comfort, warm humour and wonderful women. I know it comes up a lot but, God, I wish it were real. (I know…it is, we are, etc.) But I wish we could walk through the actual door and be greeted by gerbils in actual real life. I’m sure we all do. I guess I’m saying that I look forward to feeling like that again, with you. ❤️

Dear Swash, your post is sad but it has made me happy in a way, because it's so lovely to hear from you - I thought you might be sailing away from the Bluestocking, which I would have accepted and understood, but I'd have regretted it.
I'm glad you know l we are still with you, wherever you are.

I'm sorry to hear you haven't been able to lay your dear Bear to rest yet - in Ireland the funeral is usually within a few days, so the next difficult phase of loss can be started immediately. It feels cruel to me to leave people in that in-between state for so long.

I'm also so sorry that you have the added pain of unsupportive parents, and I'm glad your DD will be with you very soon.

A real world with cheerful little gerbils and comforting red pandas would indeed be lovely

We're always here, be here with us when and how you can; you and your dear daughter and Bear are always in our hearts.
xx

edited to remove some randomly appearing asterisks that made it look Iike I was swearing at you!!😧

I'm so sorry that circumstances are preventing you from having the usual markers after a death - the funeral and so on. They sound so trivial on one level but they do help moving through the whole horrible experience.

You and yours are not forgotten.

Oh Swash how bloody awful the whole thing is. I'm sorry it's all turning out to be so protracted. You need to be able to move through the grieving process and I don't imagine this is helping any.

Germoleen, Gwenda, Gail, Gladys and Grace have come for a hug (they ran faster than the others when the news went round the gerbils that you were here).

I hope it is OK to re-post this exchange, which Swash may not have read because it was a week ago, and she may still be reading now?

Sadness, songs, sailing, serenity...💙

FuzzyPuffling · 20/06/2025 11:01
Just been listening to "Dignity" by Deacon Blue and it reminded me of Swashy. I wonder if her ship is called "Dignity"?

MarieDeGournay · 20/06/2025 12:18
That's such a coincidence, Fuzzy - and 'Dignity' is a beautiful song.

For some reason I was thinking a lot about Swash last night, how deeply I feel about her loss, and yet I haven't the foggiest clue who she really is, and yet the connection through the Bluestocking makes that irrelevant... we feel for that woman who we got to know as a visiting pirate [and in my case even had a joke star-crossed romantic interest in her AI image] whoever and wherever she is.

It all felt very confusing and very emotional, and I had this image of Swash's ship sailing slowly away from us, which was a sad image.

To change my thoughts, I turned on the radio, RTE Radio 1 has uninterrupted 'oldies' late at night, and the song playing was of all things - 'Sailing', by Christopher Cross, which he wrote about how sailing helped him through a time of emotional distress:
Well, it's not far down to paradise
At least it's not for me
And if the wind is right you can sail away
And find tranquillity
Oh, the canvas can do miracles
Just you wait and see
It's not far to never never land
No reason to pretend
And you can find the joy
Of innocence again
Oh, the canvas can do miracles
Just you wait and see
Believe me
Sailing takes me away
To where I've always heard it could be
Just a dream and the wind to carry me
Soon I will be free
It's not far back to sanity
At least it's not for me
And if the wind is right you can sail away
And find serenity
Oh, the canvas can do miracles
Just you wait and see

I wish the same for our dear pirate Swash
💙
8

Oh Swashy, I'm so sorry your parents aren't there for you. I'm sure anyone would be hurt by that. And there are no 'shoulds' when it comes to experiencing your grief: things are what they are, how you feel is how you feel, & to put it very mildly, you're not having an easy time of it.

I'm glad your daughter is coming home this weekend.

Please know how very much you are loved, here.❤

I can only imagine how hurt you are by your parents’ thoughtlessness and lack of care for you and your dd, @Swashbuckled.

When my dad died, I rang my mum every evening, for at least a year, for a chat.

Im glad the Bluestocking is here for you - and if you’d like my phone number, you can call me any time.