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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Young teen bra fitting single sex assured?

46 replies

AnotherDayInParadise43 · 05/05/2025 18:50

Following the thread earlier about which ships definitely have single sex changing rooms, I need to find somewhere to take a 12 year old for her 1st bra fitting. Where can we go that will absolutely, definitely be single sex, woman only changing room and fitter? TIA

OP posts:
Bannedontherun · 05/05/2025 20:02

You could try JK Rowling she has a yacht if that helps lol

StMarie4me · 05/05/2025 20:20

I think all bra fitting would be in an individual room. I think that your DD could use her words and say “not that person” if the assistant made her uncomfortable in any way. And try as I might, I cannot find anyone online who has had any kind of ‘incident’ or ‘trauma’ at a bra fitting.
So I think you may be overthinking this a tad…

DoubleShotEspresso · 05/05/2025 20:20

Well I took my 10 year old to M&S and the lady there told me she was “waiting to see what they’ll do now after the ruling”.
She confirmed to me that her job had in recent months involved “measuring men for bras” and explained all but one of them had walked outside of the cubicle , with other women present as they “liked getting reactions”.
Safe to say, your query is a valid one OP and I would be keen to know the answer!

DiscoBeat · 05/05/2025 20:22

StMarie4me · 05/05/2025 20:20

I think all bra fitting would be in an individual room. I think that your DD could use her words and say “not that person” if the assistant made her uncomfortable in any way. And try as I might, I cannot find anyone online who has had any kind of ‘incident’ or ‘trauma’ at a bra fitting.
So I think you may be overthinking this a tad…

She's not a toddler. And it's a very valid request.

HaddyAbrams · 05/05/2025 20:24

I think I'd be inclined to do it at home with a tape measure and the boob or bust guide.

Chellybelle · 05/05/2025 20:24

It will be a woman. If you get there and it's a bloke you say no and walk out. Obviously.

DiscoBeat · 05/05/2025 20:25

I was thinking maybe one of the smaller lingerie outfits where she could get a 1:1 with an experienced woman.

Hoydenish · 05/05/2025 20:26

DiscoBeat · 05/05/2025 20:25

I was thinking maybe one of the smaller lingerie outfits where she could get a 1:1 with an experienced woman.

Yes, a provincial lingerie shop would be my suggestion.

lovegoodlovegood · 05/05/2025 20:35

Not M&S as they don’t measure right anyway
smaller independent shop. If you post the area someone will have recommendations

Ddakji · 05/05/2025 20:45

I would measure her yourself at home.

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 05/05/2025 20:48

Just measure and buy online. There are guides on how to measure accurately. Next has good first bras.

BingoWindow · 05/05/2025 21:04

Not M&S. A few years ago, M&S were perfectly happy to have men leaving reviews on the merits of ladies underwear. I wrote to the CEO and got a complete fob off. I suspect M&S is a bit of a magnet for kicks.
I would have thought Rigby & Peller if you have deep pockets, they are excellent.
John Lewis were brilliant for my rather shy girls. The 50 something woman may have seen it all before but she was amazing, really tactful and respectful and talked my daughter through what to look for if she was just picking something up in Primark! Lovely, and I wrote praising her to the company.

April1625 · 05/05/2025 22:09

Fenwick was great for this and not a man in sight. You could visit somewhere in advance to make sure.

HmmNot · 05/05/2025 22:13

Rigby and Peller ?

NPET · 05/05/2025 23:42

I think I'd try on land!
But seriously I've found John Lewis to be helpful (in that respect anyway). Whenever I've used them for clothes, I haven't seen any men around the changing rooms.

Datun · 06/05/2025 08:31

I don't know if it's still the case, but i'm pretty certain M&S at Marble Arch had a man identifying as a woman doing bra fitting.

So yes it's certainly a valid request.

Grown women baulk at confronting these men, what chance does a 12-year-old having a bra fitting have?

And shame on Marks & Spencers for not respecting their core customers.

loveyouradvice · 06/05/2025 10:50

John Lewis Brent Cross told me they were single sex on Sunday - worth checking with your local but definitely a much better bet than M&S which is clear all changing rooms are mixed sex

ArtemisiaTheArtist · 06/05/2025 11:26

Agree with John Lewis. My shy teenager liked the woman who works at their branch in Stratford East London.

JaninaDuszejko · 06/05/2025 11:33

I took DD1 to Bravissimo and they gave us a young (early 20s) fitter who was excellent and made DD1 feel very comfortable. I know you're probably thinking 'that's for women with big boobs' but they have a good range of 28" backs so my tiny (size 4-6) DD got several perfectly fitting bras including a sports bra whereas at M&S they suggested she wear a 32 back!

Datun · 06/05/2025 14:32

JaninaDuszejko · 06/05/2025 11:33

I took DD1 to Bravissimo and they gave us a young (early 20s) fitter who was excellent and made DD1 feel very comfortable. I know you're probably thinking 'that's for women with big boobs' but they have a good range of 28" backs so my tiny (size 4-6) DD got several perfectly fitting bras including a sports bra whereas at M&S they suggested she wear a 32 back!

I was going to mention bravissimo, but my recollection is they allow men in their changing rooms, too.

These men will target anything and everything that is female only. The more unequivocal it is, the greater their need for access.

If, for instance, as a PP has mentioned, a shop says women only on a Sunday or women only after 12, they'll target that.

I just want retailers to get used to saying no.

Ddakji · 06/05/2025 14:54

Datun · 06/05/2025 14:32

I was going to mention bravissimo, but my recollection is they allow men in their changing rooms, too.

These men will target anything and everything that is female only. The more unequivocal it is, the greater their need for access.

If, for instance, as a PP has mentioned, a shop says women only on a Sunday or women only after 12, they'll target that.

I just want retailers to get used to saying no.

Yes - quite a few years ago now but I was once in a Bravissimo changing room and there was a man being fitted in the next cubicle.

I often wonder if the young woman member of staff locked in the cubicle with him had been given any option to refuse.

minnienono · 06/05/2025 14:59

At 12 unless very “well developed i would measure at home and order two or three sizes from the supermarket (Sainsbury’s is good for returns I find) and see what fits. My DD’s liked the t shirt bras though the smaller sizes were only available in M&S then, angel was their brand but I’m going back 12 years. I didn’t get them measured until they were older as they are pretty sensitive to these things at 12 and wanted bras more because it’s the done thing than actually needing them. Sport’s direct are good for pull on sports bras for smaller sizes

minnienono · 06/05/2025 15:01

Don’t think I’ve ever seen a man in bravissimo, not even with their partner, all female staff too in my experience

WitchesofPainswick · 06/05/2025 15:03

You don't leave your daughter when she is fitted, so it's not something I would worry about in advance. If you are not happy, just say 'ok not today actually' and leave.

BeEagerEagle · 06/05/2025 15:20

All bra fittings will be individual rooms. The woman who helps you and DD if you need it will always ask for consent before she comes into the changing room.

I disagree with PP that you should measure on your own, my mum did that and I ended up wearing the wrong size bra for years. I only got my first fitting in my twenties.