Page 4 | Rules in pools

SmallandSpanish · 2025-04-06T20:25:48+00:00

I took myself to the ‘ladies pond’ on Hampstead Heath today. Signs everywhere saying ladies only. Women only etc. I was nervous as it was my first time and I was on my own. It was my treat to myself after a stressful morning. I got loudly told off for taking a carefully placed selfie (discreetly, with nobody else in view). Meanwhile the big boomy man parading around in a woman’s swim suit, talking loudly and generally acting like he owned the place was completely free and unchallenged. I didn’t want to ruin my brief moment of time to myself so forced myself not to dwell on it. But FFS. Fuck. Off.

SpringIsSpringing25 · 08/04/2025 12:27

When the mixed pond is open HE should be directed to use that, but when the mixed pond has been turned into a ladies pond while the ladies pond is being refurbished Where is he supposed to go? He's not going to be welcomed into the male pond in a woman's swimsuit. Can you imagine the publicity if they told him he can't swim until the mixed pond is reinstated?

it has all just turned into a giant fuck up

But what confuses me most of all is anyone's ability to get into a pond in London in April, it's bloody freezing you mad things!!

Hotandbothered222 · 08/04/2025 13:27

SpringIsSpringing25 · 08/04/2025 12:27

When the mixed pond is open HE should be directed to use that, but when the mixed pond has been turned into a ladies pond while the ladies pond is being refurbished Where is he supposed to go? He's not going to be welcomed into the male pond in a woman's swimsuit. Can you imagine the publicity if they told him he can't swim until the mixed pond is reinstated?

it has all just turned into a giant fuck up

But what confuses me most of all is anyone's ability to get into a pond in London in April, it's bloody freezing you mad things!!

Why should it matter what swimming costume a man chooses to wear? I wasn’t aware there’s a a dress code. A man should swim in the pond for men. If other men don’t like it, that’s really their problem, it certainly isn’t ours to solve.

TheOtherRaven · 08/04/2025 13:32

SpringIsSpringing25 · 08/04/2025 12:27

When the mixed pond is open HE should be directed to use that, but when the mixed pond has been turned into a ladies pond while the ladies pond is being refurbished Where is he supposed to go? He's not going to be welcomed into the male pond in a woman's swimsuit. Can you imagine the publicity if they told him he can't swim until the mixed pond is reinstated?

it has all just turned into a giant fuck up

But what confuses me most of all is anyone's ability to get into a pond in London in April, it's bloody freezing you mad things!!

Why is it more of an urgent problem that a man finds himself temporarily inconvenienced and without access, when that man (and his supporters) have been perfectly happy for any number of women to be inconvenienced and permanently excluded by him?

It seems rather extreme double standards? If women must accept they can't have access to a pool at all ever because of him, it does not seem unreasonable in the slightest to expect him to cope with a mere few weeks of not having access. He's still not being treated anything like as badly as a woman is.

JellySaurus · 08/04/2025 18:49

SpringIsSpringing25 · 08/04/2025 12:27

When the mixed pond is open HE should be directed to use that, but when the mixed pond has been turned into a ladies pond while the ladies pond is being refurbished Where is he supposed to go? He's not going to be welcomed into the male pond in a woman's swimsuit. Can you imagine the publicity if they told him he can't swim until the mixed pond is reinstated?

it has all just turned into a giant fuck up

But what confuses me most of all is anyone's ability to get into a pond in London in April, it's bloody freezing you mad things!!

He's not going to be welcomed into the male pond in a woman's swimsuit.

Men's prejudices about other men are not women's problems to solve.

He is male. He should swim in the men's pond. What he wears is irrelevant to which pool he attends.

Greyskybluesky · 08/04/2025 19:03

morningtoncrescent62 · 07/04/2025 15:45

This makes me so sad. I lived in London in the 80s and early 90s, and it was quite a difficult period in my life. The ladies' pond was my haven and refuge. It had such a lovely feel. I wasn't quite a winter swimmer, but I did go from about March through to October. In the spring and autumn you'd meet wonderful older women in the changing room (cold shower only) - one memorable woman who I think was in her 80s at the time described herself as an 'old trout' and had been swimming there, twice a day, since the 1930s. In the height of summer it would be busy but always with a peaceful air. Women of all shapes and sizes would sunbathe topless, have picnics, spend the day there.

Part of the difficult time I'd had was to do with male violence, and the ladies pond was one of the very few places where I felt confident enough to enjoy a swim and lie in the sun. I feel so sad thinking of young women today who need a sanctuary in the madness of London, but this very special one is no longer the haven that I knew. I wonder what those older women would make of it.

This was a lovely descriptive post to read, thank you for writing it. It's like a tiny piece of history in the huge jigsaw that is women's lives.

These special memories need to be expressed, these little snapshots of time need to be remembered. Oh what we have lost, and are losing. I wonder what those older women would make of it, indeed. 💐

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 08/04/2025 19:05

SpringIsSpringing25 · 08/04/2025 12:27

When the mixed pond is open HE should be directed to use that, but when the mixed pond has been turned into a ladies pond while the ladies pond is being refurbished Where is he supposed to go? He's not going to be welcomed into the male pond in a woman's swimsuit. Can you imagine the publicity if they told him he can't swim until the mixed pond is reinstated?

it has all just turned into a giant fuck up

But what confuses me most of all is anyone's ability to get into a pond in London in April, it's bloody freezing you mad things!!

They could temporarily make the men's pond mixed.

SpringIsSpringing25 · 08/04/2025 20:02

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 08/04/2025 19:05

They could temporarily make the men's pond mixed.

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They could

But seriously, what do you think the chances are?

SpringIsSpringing25 · 08/04/2025 20:05

JellySaurus · 08/04/2025 18:49

He's not going to be welcomed into the male pond in a woman's swimsuit.

Men's prejudices about other men are not women's problems to solve.

He is male. He should swim in the men's pond. What he wears is irrelevant to which pool he attends.

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🙄🙄🙄

Jesus Christ, I never said it was a woman's problem to solve, I'm discussing reality, They're not going to make him swim in the men's pool or make the men except him swimming in the men's pool

SpringIsSpringing25 · 08/04/2025 20:06

TheOtherRaven · 08/04/2025 13:32

Why is it more of an urgent problem that a man finds himself temporarily inconvenienced and without access, when that man (and his supporters) have been perfectly happy for any number of women to be inconvenienced and permanently excluded by him?

It seems rather extreme double standards? If women must accept they can't have access to a pool at all ever because of him, it does not seem unreasonable in the slightest to expect him to cope with a mere few weeks of not having access. He's still not being treated anything like as badly as a woman is.

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Same comment to you really. I didn't say it was more urgent. I certainly didn't say it was more important but the reality of it is that the people that run the place are not gonna make him swim in the men's pool and they will do something because it's not worth the publicity to them to tell him he can't currently swim there.

SpringIsSpringing25 · 08/04/2025 20:09

Hotandbothered222 · 08/04/2025 13:27

Why should it matter what swimming costume a man chooses to wear? I wasn’t aware there’s a a dress code. A man should swim in the pond for men. If other men don’t like it, that’s really their problem, it certainly isn’t ours to solve.

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And the same to you.

The people that run it don't have a problem with them Swimming as he chooses to present himself as a woman in the woman's pool.

The man won't have him swimming in the men's pool and they will have a much bigger reaction and will fight it.

The people that run the pool will back down to the men before they back down to the woman.

It's not right, but it is reality

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 08/04/2025 20:53

SpringIsSpringing25 · 08/04/2025 20:05

🙄🙄🙄

Jesus Christ, I never said it was a woman's problem to solve, I'm discussing reality, They're not going to make him swim in the men's pool or make the men except him swimming in the men's pool

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But they will make the women swimming in the women's pond accept him because women are less important than men, right?

SpringIsSpringing25 · 08/04/2025 21:39

Yes, they will.

Women are less likely to go loudly up against the status quo then men, so they are the easier option to ignore/upset/disadvantage.

Justwrong68 · 08/04/2025 22:26

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 07/04/2025 08:47

There's no difference between someone who says they are the opposite sex for one reason and someone who says they are the opposite sex for another reason.

Whether you are doing it to prove a point or not, you are still not the opposite sex and your presence in a space for the opposite sex is still going to be at best an irritation and at worst a danger for the people that space is actually for.

Think about it for a second.

Women calling themselves men in order to access the men's single sex pond do not represent any danger to those men. They aren't going to set off any trauma responses in men who have been raped or sexually assaulted by a woman. Probably the worst they can do is make the space unsuitable for a man whose religious beliefs prevent him from sharing that space with women. And yet this is unacceptable.

Men calling themselves women for any reason do represent a danger to the women that space is for. Statistically, the risk that they may actually harm those women is significant enough that it should not be ignored. If they do actually try to harm a woman in that space, for example, by touching her in a way that she does not consent to, she probably cannot defend herself because he is strong enough to physically overpower her, whereas a woman in a men's space is not strong enough to physically overpower the men. Statistically, a large minority of the women in that space will have been raped or sexually assaulted by a man, and may find his presence traumatising for that reason. We also know that a greater number of women are restricted from using mixed sex spaces like this due to their religious beliefs. For example, Muslim women have much greater restrictions on exposing parts of their bodies to strangers than Muslim men do.

And yet, the men are allowed to object to this, even though the impact on them is nowhere near as great, but the women are not.

It's misogyny on steroids.

I don't give a fuck why a man is saying he's a woman, whether he believes it or not, or how sad he will be if I don't go along with it. He's not my problem. He shouldn't be any woman's problem.

Aunt Lydia is exactly the right term for the women allowing this.

Edited

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Brilliant reply!

typhon · 09/04/2025 08:07

SpringIsSpringing25 · 08/04/2025 20:09

And the same to you.

The people that run it don't have a problem with them Swimming as he chooses to present himself as a woman in the woman's pool.

The man won't have him swimming in the men's pool and they will have a much bigger reaction and will fight it.

The people that run the pool will back down to the men before they back down to the woman.

It's not right, but it is reality

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He's not going to be welcomed into the male pond in a woman's swimsuit.

I'm sure he would be fine - maybe one or two quizzical looks from a distance. It really isn't the case that the Highgate Ponds men would object to a man in a women's swimsuit in their pond.

The person who would object to it is the man himself - because he wants to impose himself on women, violate their boundaries, and/or be included in the category of women.

It really is the desires of a tiny number of men being prioritised here.

TeiTetua · 09/04/2025 16:21

One is sad to point it out, but there was a vote by the Kenwood Ladies' Pond Association back in March last year, and there was a pretty solid majority for allowing the transgender individuals to use the pond. We can say how awful it is, but a lot of the pond users apparently don't think so.
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13152345/tempers-vote-ban-trans-bathers-hampsted-heath-protest.html

Tempers flare at vote to ban trans bathers from Hampstead Heath Pond

A group of female swimmers lost a bid to bar trans women from using the pond, which has been open to them since 2019.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13152345/tempers-vote-ban-trans-bathers-hampsted-heath-protest.html

endofthelinefinally · 09/04/2025 16:29

SpringIsSpringing25 · 08/04/2025 20:05

🙄🙄🙄

Jesus Christ, I never said it was a woman's problem to solve, I'm discussing reality, They're not going to make him swim in the men's pool or make the men except him swimming in the men's pool

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But the women must be forced to accept him swimming in the women's pool?
Men pretending to be women and dressing in stereotypical women's swimwear have been using the women's pool for years. The temporary closure of the women's pool is not relevant to that particular issue. I have no doubt the individual would be intruding into the women's pool if it were open.

ThatsNotMyTeen · 09/04/2025 16:30

Jaessa · 06/04/2025 22:59

If it was done in poor taste, mocking the idea of being trans as something whimsical, then it is not funny nor nice indeed. Nothing like punching down on a minority to feel mighty.

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Yes , and indeed it was nothing like punching down on a minority. Men, even ones who say their are women, are not an oppressed minority

Arran2024 · 09/04/2025 19:27

TeiTetua · 09/04/2025 16:21

One is sad to point it out, but there was a vote by the Kenwood Ladies' Pond Association back in March last year, and there was a pretty solid majority for allowing the transgender individuals to use the pond. We can say how awful it is, but a lot of the pond users apparently don't think so.
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13152345/tempers-vote-ban-trans-bathers-hampsted-heath-protest.html

It was only 200 people who could vote

PriOn1 · 09/04/2025 19:40

Thebloodynine · 08/04/2025 00:04

No, they don’t. Transmen who present as men, live as men, even take hormones etc are not welcome in the men’s pond. Not allowed. But trans women are allowed in the women’s pond.

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If this is genuine and you know some transmen who’ve been turned away, they could bring a case against the body that runs the ponds. If this is true, it’s a very clear case of sex discrimination.

Is there an incident you’ve seen reported anywhere, do you actually know someone that was turned away, or is this hearsay?

TheOtherRaven · 10/04/2025 08:23

TeiTetua · 09/04/2025 16:21

One is sad to point it out, but there was a vote by the Kenwood Ladies' Pond Association back in March last year, and there was a pretty solid majority for allowing the transgender individuals to use the pond. We can say how awful it is, but a lot of the pond users apparently don't think so.
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13152345/tempers-vote-ban-trans-bathers-hampsted-heath-protest.html

From the threads, I believe it was carefully brigaded to ensure that women weren't allowed to get in the way of the men's wishes.

This is how capture works. Like the consultation where anyone sharing views that did not centre the wishes of men over the equality of women had their reply binned as 'hate', which left it easy to prove that the consultation heavily favoured excluding some women from anything (and removing single sex from all of them) so that men could have everything all the time.

It's very easy to prove whatever you want when you are entirely dishonest and without ethics. And when your movement is largely run by and for the benefit of white, straight, able bodied affluent men with all the power and privilege involved.