Does anyone else resent the gender/ TERF wars?

[TERFCat]

I met up with an old friend last night. The first two hours were magical! Everything was going great until the "what is a woman?" question popped up... Then, it all turned sour, and I don't think she and I will be catching up again for a long time.

Basically, whilst I think women's rights are paramount and should be defended whenever necessary, I'm really starting to resent the impact this had on my real life.

I have lost friends over this, and I've likely been stopped from making more too!

Does anyone else feel this way?

I have a friend I don’t discuss it with. She always says stuff about ‘people living their true selves’ nonsense.
It’s because she has a trans woman friend so I assume she feels disloyal to say otherwise. I don’t believe she really believes it.
it pisses me off as I told her about a family I know where the teenage son has come out as trans and it’s created so much trouble, especially for his younger sister, she replied with him ‘living his truth’ bullshit indeed.

everyone else I know agrees with me unless they have a trans child of course.

Too late to edit: *without fully intact males in our changerooms, sports, rape shelters etc. that should read.

But PS, @Glitterknickerbockers , if you and your trans friends were at all genuine, you would tell us they don't enter female spaces or facilities meant for traumatised women and girls. You would encourage your transwomen friends to make a stand against males in female facilities, your friends would take a stand against the trans activists that are making them look bad and causing feminists and women and girls to get angry and upset and fight back. Your friends would defend female facilities and spaces and demand these activists pull their heads in and stop causing trouble. To allow not just them, but females to live in peace (and free from the rape threats and death threats their trans activist buddies give us).

IF you and them are sincere, that is what your reply would be.

I'm not holding my breath.

What's wrong with pointing out that trans people are LARPing?

Let's not mince words, shall we? What you thought was a friend is in reality an enemy. You don't need people like that in your life.
Well done for sticking to your guns. Fuck her!

I'm not at all comfortable with that sort of language. No-one should ever be "fucked" because someone else doesn't like her or what she says. Rape as a weapon, even metaphorically, is horrible.

HOW FUCKING DARE I at least five times over?

You need to get a grip. Thankfully I don't need your permission to dare to have an opinion.

She's gripping just fine.

Tell me what's so wrong about noticing that LARPers are LARPers.

Btw, I do appreciate your pointing out that that is what it is.

If you can't give a dictionary definition to this question, I don't want to know you.

Gripping just fine? It looked like an uncontrollable outburst of rage to me. That's not healthy behaviour.

Er, no. Us feminists are ANGRY. And we have a right to be. You made out like these males are victims of us females. That is gaslighting and DARVO. Males are not victims. Women and girls are. All us females want, is peace. And our rights returned. You don't get to gaslight and DARVO us and tell us these privileged males are victims of feminists. And no, we feminists who fighting for our rights won't ever "get a grip". Not now. Not ever. Those males you defend are the ones who need to get a grip, and leave us females alone and live in peace. Males are not the victims here!

Yeah, heaven forbid rape survivors like me, and feminists and women and girls get "angry" about being gaslit, DARVOed, and having our rights and safeguards removed. Heaven forbid a woman get angry. Don't we know a woman should know her place, and always speak with a soft voice?

A very well controlled burst of quite justifiable rage at the ridiculous way women have been expected to hand over all their rights to male hobbyists in the last decade, while young confused women have been lured into catastrophic self-harm.

There really isn't enough rage in the world.

Bloody LARPers.

What do you expect @Glitterknickerbockers ? You post on here telling us off for being mean. You don't show any understanding of the problems women face when their single sex spaces are invaded. Your post was infuriating.

Actually may I suggest that you sit down with your TW friends and give them a lecture on how to respect the rights of women to maintain single sex spaces. They are not women no matter how much they wish to be. They are transwomen who are biologically male.

You want to know what an "uncontrollable outburst of rage" looks like? These. These are your mob. According to you though, they are the victims and just want to live in 'peace'. Some peace! And you wonder why we don't want any of these males in our spaces.

Not what you'd describe as delicate little wallflowers are they. The hatred they spew towards women is abhorrent.

To be fair, there was nothing to suggest that @Glitterknickerbockers friends would ever do anything like that, and if they just live in the way they think someone of their adopted 'gender identity' 'should' then the only really damaging thing they are doing is pushing sex role stereotypes, which I personally think is harmful to society, but we could debate that, and it is still possible to ignore that nonsense.

True. But if they use female only spaces, and I note that Glitterknickerbockers didn't refute my second post on that, so I can only presume her friends that are transwomen do use female only spaces, then they are encouraging that atmosphere of these activists who hurl abuse at women who get upset at that. If they don't use these spaces and don't agree with these activists forcing their way in, then that's cool, that's good.

Spot on @Willieverbeok - if you are getting people silenced and fired then you have Privilege. You are not a victim. If you can verbally and physically abuse women on camera with impunity you have privilege granted to no other group in society.

Absolutely, using opposite sex spaces is wrong, whatever you might imagine your 'gender identity' to be.

LARPing is an interesting way of thinking about that is happening. I have always had the impression that people who spend their holidays or weekends acting out 'being medieval' or 'being in the civil war' are intelligent (often highly intelligent) but with something missing - empathy? imagination? - that leaves them wanting to fill that gap with meticulous physical reconstructions that they make as 'accurate' as possible.

It's as though they cannot get into another mental space without props. And not being able to get into another mental space leaves them unaware of how far astray they can go. And in the case of gender LARPers, how offensive they are.

As always, TRSOH shows its true colours - "Smile, love!" "It's not ladylike to get angry" "Always be sweet and gentle" "BeeeeeeeKinddddd"

I resent that some men are still taking women's stuff and won't just let female people live in peace.

Can you be friends with someone who fundamentally goes against something which is foundational to you? I couldn't be. I'd naturally distance myself to the point where we would end up eventually disengaging altogether.

If they had some extreme views then sure. People I choose to associate with tend to be pragmatic and sensible though rather than tub-thumping idealists or extremists.

You can assume whatever you like, it doesn't.ake you right.

I am refusing to engage with you in any way because you are extremely hostile, not because your are correct. You are also clearly entrenched in your rage so it would be a waste of my time to try to convince you any other way.

Carry on ranting into the void, no one is answering.

Thank you, my friends are very normal people, I'm not interested in socialising with anyone who spews vitriol online, including people like @WillIEverBeOk.