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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Shon Faye has theories about women, mums, and Mumsnet.

128 replies

ArabellaScott · 23/02/2025 12:50

https://crooked.com/podcast/trumps-plan-for-peace-in-ukraine-only-pleases-putin-the-politics-of-modern-love/

Shon Faye '... for most of the 20 tens, one of the kind of online hubs of transphobia, really big mobilization of anti-trans groups and some of the most prominent, taking to the streets, anti-trans campaigners and actually kind of got radicalized on a website called Mumsnet. It’s a parenting forum and, like, I think it serves a, you know, a function for a lot of parents, but it’s I think it’s something like 90% women. So mostly mums. But yeah, like on certain corners of that it became like this hub and like basically any pro trans point was shut down for mums of trans kids, basically bullied off the website and it basically became this now. Is that coincidence? And what I was interested in and it’s kind of a - for me, like, a microcosm of the general problem you’re talking about, because in America, there’s a lot of right wing groups that use moms in the title of Moms for Liberty.

Coco Khan Yeah, right.

Shon Faye Yeah, 1 Million Moms. And they’re like these, like, potentially far right groups. And yeah. Is that is there a link? Why Mumsnet? I guess what they would say is that motherhood is a point where you radicalized and they like, well, we’re not going to accept this like denial of biology by the trans cults or whatever they say. The reality, I think, is that actually you find quite a lot of women on parenting forums who have lost their identity or feeling quite unsupported, often whether they have a partner or not. There’s even these studies that show that men think they’re doing 50% and they’re not.

And so, so, a lot of of women who have young children are on these parenting forums and perhaps I argue for and quite resentful, resentful, it may be suppressed resentment of their own partner and resentful - like, the fact that society does this bait and switch with motherhood where like there’s a lot of pressure on women to do it and then when they do, it is kind of like, well, get on with it. And if you’re a bad mother, that’s your fault. And if you fuck your kids up that's your fault.

Andrea Dworkin, this radical second wave feminist, kind of said that, like, women often can’t express their resentment against the men closest to them, so they deflect it. Right wing women will deflect it onto people of color or lesbians in the 70s, and I think that’s a good example of like how motherhood is used. Like lots of black motherhood was so used in Trump’s recent campaign. Yeah, because it’s this idea, particularly white motherhood, right? It’s like we’ve got to protect white children from the threat. Whatever the threat is at any given generation.'

Nish Kumar In this instance, the threat is specifically in various forms. The three people currently go kill.

Coco Khan Yeah.

Shon Faye Yeah. I was going to say, when I said in every generation I was like, but it’s using it. It doesn’t it doesn’t feel abstract. As we said this time, it doesn’t feel too abstract to I mean, yeah, very fair observation. But it’s clever, right?

Because anyone who’s a parent, you know, the protection of young people is a sort of noble aim. And a lot of parents will have a very real fear, fear of like, children being harmed is like a is a very natural fear, but it’s also one that’s easily manipulated. Yeah. And with far right movements, you know, it has a long history of like, it’s good for, you know, recruiting women and it’s also good for recruiting other men. But like the idealization of a certain kind of puritanical motherhood. I mean, I’m really loathe to invoke Nazi Germany like fascistic regimes have always known that a particular idea of the mother is quite a potent idea in that imaginary. And, you know, that’s not me saying that motherhood or motherly love is always this right wing reactionary idea. It’s not. But yeah, I think it can be weaponized in that regard.'

Shon Faye has, inexplicably, just published a book of presumably this sort of deep insight and wisdom.

OP posts:
Winterwonders24 · 23/02/2025 16:25

Maladjusted man has mummy issues: no great shock,is it? Transwomen thinks he could be a better woman/mother than actual women and mothers,again not ground breaking.

CarefulN0w · 23/02/2025 16:31

ArabellaScott · 23/02/2025 15:53

Women often find their focus shifts as mothers, from adult social intercourse, which inevitably includes pandering to/working around the male gaze, and male attention, in a male-centred world, to the predominantly female world of childbearing and childrearing.

(All mothers are women, most primary carers are mothers, most of those working in healthcare are women, most educational staff are women.)

So yes, women change.

And many men resent this loss of women's attention very much.

All of this. And then when their post pregnancy oestrogen returns to normal and their male partners carry on with their lives as before, those women think fuck that shit.

Much as AIBU is criticised, it is a safe space for women to admit that adult womening and motherhood are not what they are cracked up to be. And once that thought is expressed, shared and agreed with, it builds. Not all women find FWR or agree with GC views, but very few don't see the imbalance between us and men.

mrshoho · 23/02/2025 16:36

Thanks Shon for the enlightenment. Now I see the error of my ways and understand it's my deep seated resentment of my partner along with the misery of motherhood that has led me to fear gender ideology and direct all my internalised dissatisfaction towards the downtrodden trans. Nothing to do with the fact that biological sex is the truth and can never be changed!

On a positive, it really is a badge of honour that Mumsnet is held in such high esteem. Responsible for mobilisation of the GC army. Well done Mumsnet and long may she reign!

SidewaysOtter · 23/02/2025 16:43

Theeyeballsinthesky · 23/02/2025 13:58

Well quite sideways

I was just wondering how non mothers fit into shon’s special thinky thoughts on women

I expect we are the Unwomen. I expect to be sent to The Colonies any day now.

Coffeelovr · 23/02/2025 17:16

And, you know, that’s not me saying that motherhood or motherly love is always this right wing reactionary idea. It’s not. But yeah, I think it can be weaponized in that regard.

This kind of comment really gets my goat. Perhaps they need reminding that around 40% of the population are mothers. The process of becoming a mother clearly addles all our brains and turns us into fascists

woollyhatter · 23/02/2025 17:20

Poor wee sausage. I did actually spend some of my hard-earned cash on his first book. A habit from being a boring old historian and a bit lairy of internet source material so I thought I ought to read published secondary commentary from differing perspectives and it was recommended. I also read it in tandem with Helen Joyce. I sort of felt a bit sorry for his wildly incoherent thought processes and woe is me and my people schtick (it had a bit of the flavour of a certain famous 1930s manifesto which involved someone else’s terrific “struggle” that defined that writer’s life and worldview) So sad that this was the most cogent set of arguments the transgender movement had to offer. It was pitiful as well as dangerous. I felt a bit of a spinning top after dealing with all the circular arguments, false equivalences and logical lacunae in the book.

Thanks to a return to mumsnet after some hiatus it was a joy to see the floodlight of clarity and the contextualising of the new landscape within the changing culture of a pornofied society where teen girls are constantly gaslighted and internalising this claptrap at massive cost to their self-esteem.

Over my dead body is my daughter going to put up with this if I can, like the good shrill ugly Terf hag I am, tell him and his fancy manicures and bouncy hair to eff off if he thinks that is what makes a woman.

SinnerBoy · 23/02/2025 17:20

Thanks for the transcript, Arabella

It seems to me that Fayke imagines himself holding an olive branch to mothers in particular, because of all the hateful, irrational shite he's spouted, over the years.

"Come on, mummies! It's not really your fault that you're all vile Nazis! You're just tired out, hormonal and sidelined and you've picked an innocent target by mistake. There, there, recant and you may return to the fold."

And does anyone know what Kumar meant by this?

Nish Kumar In this instance, the threat is specifically in various forms. The three people currently go kill.

The words are English, but I can't parse them to make any coherent statement.

Edited for spelling error...

.

ArabellaScott · 23/02/2025 17:22

It's probably a transcription error, SinnerBoy. Like I said, I fixed some of them, but then rather lost the will.

OP posts:
SinnerBoy · 23/02/2025 17:23

Oh well, it probably makes as much sense as normal, for him!

Igneococcus · 23/02/2025 17:24

And does anyone know what Kumar meant by this?
Nish Kumar In this instance, the threat is specifically in various forms. The three people currently go kill.
The words are English, but I can't parse them to make any coherent statement.

Ha, I was just thinking "I need to ask what this means"

Heggettypeg · 23/02/2025 17:28

This is such a familiar line of male chauvinist argument - that anything women do other than servicing men (however they identify) and looking after children must be pathologically driven in some way. With other women following the nutters because their own fluffy little heads had been turned by their nonsense.

The old version was usually that it was frustration at being unattractive to men and unable to get married that drove women to campaign politically or seek achievement in the workplace. Now it's commonplace for women to work, excel in their field, and take part in politics, that version is a bit passe. So now it's mums in the crosswires.

Same old, same old, but reworked for the times. Like the cotton ceiling. It used to be "you're saying no to me so you must be a lesbian". Now "you're a lesbian" has mostly lost its sting so it's "you mustn't say no to me because I'm a lesbian"!
.

Waitwhat23 · 23/02/2025 17:36

If I had to pick the worst companions to be stuck in a broken lift, it would be Nish Kumar and the equally dreadful James Acaster.

Tediously unfunny, smug on their own farts and incredulous condescension.

mrshoho · 23/02/2025 17:38

Igneococcus · 23/02/2025 17:24

And does anyone know what Kumar meant by this?
Nish Kumar In this instance, the threat is specifically in various forms. The three people currently go kill.
The words are English, but I can't parse them to make any coherent statement.

Ha, I was just thinking "I need to ask what this means"

Is he waffling on that the three bozos sat round the table represent the various threats that the radicalised mother's on mumsnet direct their hatred towards? Who knows?

ArabellaScott · 23/02/2025 17:41

SinnerBoy · 23/02/2025 17:20

Thanks for the transcript, Arabella

It seems to me that Fayke imagines himself holding an olive branch to mothers in particular, because of all the hateful, irrational shite he's spouted, over the years.

"Come on, mummies! It's not really your fault that you're all vile Nazis! You're just tired out, hormonal and sidelined and you've picked an innocent target by mistake. There, there, recant and you may return to the fold."

And does anyone know what Kumar meant by this?

Nish Kumar In this instance, the threat is specifically in various forms. The three people currently go kill.

The words are English, but I can't parse them to make any coherent statement.

Edited for spelling error...

.

Edited

Okay, I went and watched:

Shon Faye: '....we've got to protect white children from the threat whatever the threat is at any given generation'

Nish Kumar: 'in this instance the threat is specifically in various forms - the three people currently talking on this' [gestures to himself, Shon Faye, and Coco Khan]

OP posts:
Ereshkigalangcleg · 23/02/2025 17:42

We probably watched the exact same time @ArabellaScott I was just coming to post it Grin

ArabellaScott · 23/02/2025 17:42

mrshoho · 23/02/2025 17:38

Is he waffling on that the three bozos sat round the table represent the various threats that the radicalised mother's on mumsnet direct their hatred towards? Who knows?

Yes.

OP posts:
Ereshkigalangcleg · 23/02/2025 17:43

Nish Kumar: 'in this instance the threat is specifically in various forms - the three people currently talking on this' [gestures to himself, Shon Faye, and Coco Khan]

They all guffaw at this too.

ArabellaScott · 23/02/2025 17:43

Ereshkigalangcleg · 23/02/2025 17:42

We probably watched the exact same time @ArabellaScott I was just coming to post it Grin

That's two more listens than his weak drivel deserves.

OP posts:
ArabellaScott · 23/02/2025 17:46

Poor, marginalised, male, white, middle-aged, Oxford-educated Shon Faye.

OP posts:
Ereshkigalangcleg · 23/02/2025 17:46

Qualified lawyer

ArabellaScott · 23/02/2025 17:56

You know, book promotion is hard.

OP posts:
DeanElderberry · 23/02/2025 17:57

Not that Mumsnet needs advertising, but it's good to have its existence pointed out to potential new members.

popefully · 23/02/2025 18:41

RedToothBrush · 23/02/2025 15:52

Thinking long and hard about why women want to be able to name issues that only affect females without males interfering and why they might get pissed off when males mansplain being female to them and ignore why women know sex is important?

Jeez. And still not getting it!?!

I don't think they can genuinely be that stupid.

They're pretending, like all the other disingenuous male people who don't like the idea of questioning their own stance in case it means they don't get what they want.

Imagine if a few key TRAs took some form of truth serum. It would take, what, 15 mins max of actual honest talk before the whole thing came tumbling down.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 23/02/2025 18:46

I don't think they can genuinely be that stupid.

They're pretending, like all the other disingenuous male people who don't like the idea of questioning their own stance in case it means they don't get what they want.

YY. Like when Upton said that he was "female". Pure power trip. Of course he knows he isn't.

RoyalCorgi · 23/02/2025 18:47

It's a happy coincidence that both Shon and Ash have books out at the moment so if we find ourselves short of reading material, we have a choice of idiotic drivel to consume.

I also wonder whether they'll do the rounds - will Nish interview Ash next, and will Shon be interviewed by Joe whoeverhisname is who interviewed Ash? It will provide plenty of material to amuse us while we're waiting for the Supreme Court judgement.