Newly trans colleague sexual harassment

[parallelignition]

Hi,

Over the past 2 years a male colleague has made inappropriate sexual comments, spoke in length to me about a sexual fantasy and makes various jokes with sexual innuendos. I have reported him three times for the more serious things but has only had warnings. He knows he is on thin ice so over the last year only minor innuendos have been said. Yesterday he made a comment making me feel uneasy (about a threesome). Today he has come out as trans in a meeting.

I feel really upset today. It’s like he’s trying to bring me in to his sexual fantasy where he wasn’t properly able to before. I don’t want to refer to him as she or share toilets with him. I feel I need to mention how I’m feeling to management but don’t know how to without seeming transphobic and getting into trouble. I have to work closely with him unfortunately. Is there any advice on how I can handle this?

I would report it as not wishing to share toilets with someone who has sexually harassed you, regardless of their current gender identity.

Unfortunately management will now be in a very sticky situation re discriminating against a trans person. It may be that they offer you use of separate toilets or something like that.

This is good advice. Keep reporting the harassment, OP. Best of luck xx

So the sequence of events to date is:

• you’ve spoken to HR before on several different occasions about sexually inappropriate comments,
• he’s been given warnings by HR,
• he’s toned down the comments as a result
• there haven’t been any reportable comments in the last 12 months
• yesterday’s comment about a threesome was the first reportable comment since the duty on employers re prevention of sexual harassment became law

Because he’s declared a trans identity you’re now scared to report his inappropriate sexual comment, which you would have reported otherwise.

You need to tell HR about the comment. They are under a legal duty to prevent such behaviour. If this behaviour is happening, they need to know. It’s not relevant that he’s now claiming to be a woman. Harassment is more often than not perpetrated by men against women but not exclusively by men against women.

Speak to them about the threesome comment but don’t mention toilets.

Are you the only person hes been making these comments to? Are there other women who have raised concerns/complained about him? Not to go fishing but there is a strength in numbers in this - to evidence the pattern of behaviour over both time and situations. I suspect if hes been like this with other staff you will not be alone in not wanting to share single sex facilities with him

Possibly also look up the new Worker Protection Act which was introduced in October 2024, where employers have more responsibility to keep employees safe from harassment. It may be useful to ask what policies they have in place to meet these requirements. It basically says that if an employee brings a successful case for sexual harassment to tribunal, then the employer may also be liable for allowing it to happen. It may push them to do more (hopefully).

I would continue to report exactly as you have been doing. Ignore the trans thing entirely as it shouldn't make any difference to how seriously they take things (and point this out if they act differently too). I would try to use his name as much as possible rather then pronouns to avoid conflict/distractions from the harassment.

If he in fact starts to use the female toilets then that is a separate issue. I don't know if it is worth speaking to HR informally and asking what you should do if you encounter him in the toilets considering that he has a history of sexual harassment with him. Tell them that this makes you very uncomfortable. Make it about the harassment and him specifically.

We should really be able to stop men entering the woman's toilets entirely but I don't know if you want to fight that fight.

Honestly, after so many incidents I'm shocked he is still there. Are you the only one he is doing this too?

It might be helpful to take sex and gender out of the equation with regard to the sexual harassment issues - your colleague has been engaging is sexual harassment and that is unacceptable, irrespective of their sex or gender.

You can raise that you find it extremely uncomfortable being in a confined space (WC/ CR) with a colleague who has engaged in inappropriate sexual conduct and would like to be allocated a CR/WC where you won't have to encounter them. If any accusations of transphobia arise, you can say you this is about their conduct.

Dr U in the Fife case keeps 'framing his trauma' as transphobia - he was not welcome in the women's changing room because he's trans, whereas anybody who isn't captured can see it was actually because he's male.

So being transgender can be deployed by men as a shield behind which they can - or can attempt to - get away with stuff that 'ordinary' men wouldn't get away with.

Obviously if you say that out loud, you're just playing into the 'Is it because I'm trans?' business, but keep it in mind and when you're taking notes, make a note of his behaviour as a man full stop.

This is a terrible situation to be in OP, I'm really sorry you're going through it.
It was a good idea to bring your problem here to FWR, I hope you feel that there's support here, some of it practical and lots of it just 'that's bloody awful, poor you!'

Stay strong.

He really sounds as though he has something up with him. He sounds a perfect candidate for wanking in the female toilets. Fucking horrible disgrace of a man.

This is good advice, because any colleague who has made these comments and harassed you should be reported.
Their gender reassignment/identity is separate to the incidents you've described here

Agree with the above.

His identity makes no difference, and although decisions around toilets jn the future may, that hasn't happened yet.

Log everything now. Past reports help your case anyway

This makes perfect sense

The complaints pre date the transition so accusations of transphobia can easily be countered.

This is fucking outrageous - he's been making inappropriate sexual remarks to colleagues for two years!! And he's just had a slap on the wrist. Shitty management of him

This is awful, I'm so sorry you're experiencing this.

There was a long thread a year or so ago on this board, the OP had issues with a newly brave & stunning transwoman in their team - she called him Ginny for the purpose of the thread. It was shocking to read. I have often wondered how it all panned out.

You've had some really good advice on this thread OP, I hope you can navigate this awful situation safely and that your own concerns and needs are met and not put below his feelings.

Absolutely complain to HR Op, it's really bad that they've let his harrassment go on for so long. I'd watch and wait on the issue of him using the ladies toilets, go with someone else if necessary. Just focus on his history of sexual harrassment, it's reasonable for you not to want to be in a semi private confined space when you can't trust him

It took me a while to realise but one of my trans colleagues was watching for when I went to the toilet and following me, so just be aware

Write down all the dates and times and who’s,of your previous complaints. If you have diary entries or room booking then copy them.
Inform HR of the threesome comment but now do it by email so it’s timed and dated. I’d send it to whoever you had the last meeting with and remind them about your previous complaints.
If he turns up in the toilets, walk straight to HR and complain

I have no suggestions, but am incensed for you. He’s basically found a way to engage you and your colleagues in his AGP sexual fantasies by claiming trans and forcing you to refer to and treat him “as a woman” or risk a claim of B&H. He’ll no doubt enjoy the power and be turned on by this. I don’t see how you can win on that, but just have to keeping focusing on the overt and direct sexual harassment. I don’t know if I could stomach it.

There are separate legal protections against Sexual Harassment in the Worker Protection amendment which came into effect last year. Your employer has a Preventative Duty. I would take advice on this and make sure you take a record of all the previous instances/ complaints.

The Workplace (Health, Safety and Welfare) Regulations 1992 - employers must offer toilets, showers and changing rooms that are either single use or single sex.
They could offer the trans identifying man a separate facility, whether or not he has acquired a Gender Recognition Certificate. They should not harass female staff and tell them to be kind and share their facilities.

Page 37 onwards;
www.hse.gov.uk/pubns/priced/l24.pdf

Report report report on the basis of sexual harassment. No need to mention trans. He probably thinks it’s a get out of gaol free card. It’s not.

Unless your colleague has a GRC (gender recognition certificate) he is still legally a man for the purposes of things like single sex facilities.

THE Equality Act is clear about this - and the organisation Sex Matters has online guidance to help you.

Also , strength in numbers. Men like this rarely target only one woman in the sexist behaviour. Ask around and see whether he’s made such sexually harassing comments to other women. Together you’ll be stronger in keeping your toilets etc single sex.

I remember that thread! The current case in Fife reminded me of that.

wasn’t the trans-identified man in that thread also trying for a child, so fully aware of his sex and that of his partner’s ?

How are you doing OP? Have you had any confirmation from HR regarding what toilet facilities your brave & stunning colleague will be using?

@DisillusionedTech , that's very creepy - did you say or do anything about it?