Raped and now my case has been NFA'ed

[NotAScoobyDoo2]

At the beginning of the year I was raped by my ex-boyfriend. I reported him to the police and they investigated it. I had the news last week that it wouldn't be going to the CPS because although they think the case was strong there were messages I sent saying that I wanted to have sex with him which apparently undermines my case. They said that any jury would assume that he would have the reasonable belief I consented.

To put the matter into context he forced me to have oral sex with him and whilst doing it pushed my head so far down into his groin that I couldn't breathe. I felt like I was fighting for my life and was terrified.

I've spent months in therapy and have had a diagnosis of Acute Traumatic Stress Disorder (apparently they can't give a diagnosis of PTSD for symptoms that exist for less than a year).

I'm applying for a review of the evidence but it feels like I'm fighting against a system which is rigged against me. If I have to, I'll make a complaint the Police about the way this has been handled and I'll take it as high as I can.

I know I'm preaching to the converted. How can I make other people listen?

I’m so sorry. Stay strong.

I just wanted to let you know that I am sorry that he did that to you and also that I believe you x

I'm really sorry that you've been through this. Are you getting support from a RASA centre? Do you have an ISVA to help you with the VRR?

I'm so sorry to hear your story. We have a totally broken system. The rape prosecution rates are truly shocking- and they are based on the brave women like you who challenge offenders. Xx

I am so sorry that this man did this to you. I have no advice but wanted to let you know you have been heard at least.

I'm sorry OP. I believe you.

@Circumferences that is an extraordinarily unsympathetic thing to say. Comparing OP 's experience to working as a prostitute, wtf.

@Circumferences WTH! How dare you say that what happened to OP is "not that much"?

OP, I'm so sorry that this happened to you.

This is a really hurtful thing to say and completely unnecessary. Your experience of working as a prostitute isn't even a little bit relevant. Clearly it was appropriate for the CPS to be bothered with as they have reviewed the evidence and explained the decision making.

OP please don't listen to this. What happened to you matters.

Sorry but not surprised to hear that. My ex was recently acquitted of 3 charges of rape against me at a crown court trial despite him virtually admitting it on tape. Even his defence lawyer thought he'd be found guilty. It's shit. Sending strength.

Also, you can apply for compensation via the Criminal Injuries Compensation Board. You don't need a conviction for that.

I am honestly so sorry.
I would council you to explore how you would feel if after the horrific ordeal you will be put through fighting this it was still NFA

It's hard and horrible. I also think they know what will result in a conviction or not. You would probably feel worse to go through a trial and he walks at the end of it. Fucking shit but there it is.

Sorry to hear this but if there are these text messages then it does undermine the case. Rape cases are notoriously difficult to prosecute when there’s no undermining evidence never mind when there is. Juries judge women extremely harshly. I doubt complaining would change the outcome. It won’t have been a snap decision, they would have weighed up the pros and cons at length.
I think you have to consider that complaining and still getting the same result might damage your mental health further.

Disagree. This is the only way things change and OP seems determined.

Cps didn’t review the evidence. It didn’t get that far. It will have been reviewed at detective inspector level who decided it didn’t meet the evidential threshold to go to cps.

To be honest, I would feel worse knowing that I hadn't done what I could to stop it happening to someone else. I need to try and if I fail at least I know I will have done my best. - There was a very similar case last year where a woman was killed by her partner and the coroner ruled "unlawful killing". There is a clause under the DAA which states a victim can't consent to serious harm for sexual gratification.

The problem seems to be that juries are taking the sides of defendants at the moment. It's weird and toxic.

The evidence is the evidence. If it’s not there, challenging the decision will make no difference whatsoever. I’m not saying for a minute that this is a good or just thing, but without clear, uncompromised evidence there is no chance of a conviction. The space for reasonable doubt is too big.

The problem seems to be that juries are taking the sides of defendants at the moment

It didn't reach a jury.

Let’s not play rape bingo. You can’t say what you’ve experienced is a lot worse.

So what, you just stop trying to make things better? If women don't complain how will it ever get better.

Misread!

What was misread. The poster said it didn’t go to the CPS. These cases are reviewed by the DI who decides whether it will go to the CPS.

OP , I'm sorry to hear this. As per PP, I would imagine this hasnt got to CPS decision in the first instance. You are doing the absolute right thing,asking for a review of the case . No means no,at whatever stage YOU withdraw consent. Be confident and stand up for yourself really wish you well OP x