My wife, my abuser on Netflix.

[YourAmplePlumPoster]

Can you imagine the police showing the same sympathy to a woman in this situation? I'm afraid I can't having been a DV survivor. Sympathy, let alone protection was totally absent. This was years ago but I don't think much has changed.

@Tittat50 he's literally trying to force a sob story down everyone's throat. His refusal to leave is simply another way of trying to overpower her, and we're all focused on how yucky and gross she is when she's angry. I bet you're all wonderful and polite when pissed off, I'm sure you are 🙄 this documentary is a spit in all women's faces (no matter how polite you are or would be to your abuser)

Are you the person who works in police or whatever I read a while ago on this thread? If so best believe I'd give you sh for this sort of crap in person as well if I had to endure your ignorance that affects women's lives. You lack social/political analysis and refusal of common sense is of no use and it's good that you admit that no matter what reasonable argument I throw at you you'd refuse to dig deeper and consider. It's exactly what we don't need from people dealing with women suffering gross men like these

I stay single for a reason. There are lots of reasons but I know I would be stifled and angry if I felt trapped with someone I didn't want.

When the officer talked about how the guy had normalised abuse saying X doesn't count, it felt contrived. It didn't feel genuine. Either way, she's a terror. I understand moments of reactive abuse in response to ongoing abuse from a partner but she certainly doesn't look like a reactive abuse example in what she was doing.

I wonder if something physical was actually stopping her from separating from him. The house was huge. If she wanted rid so desperately, why did she stay just to abuse him.

Her taking it out in such ways is a clear sign of powerlessness. Think to yourself: why the f would you do all that and not just leave if you had somewhere to go? He said HER parents were on his side, so no support. No one will take "alcoholic" with three kids, and drinking became her coping mechanism.

Until you are stuck with a shithead like this with whom you have children with, you'll never understand the level of pain and betrayal - and yes the horrible sh you're willing to do to another. He could leave but he didn't want to give her the house clearly. He also enjoyed her spiralling down.

Abusers will often use you up or ruin you completely, then discard you. He had no issues opening up to neighbours and had support, yet he stayed. Why? He said "he didn't want to ruin anyone's life" yet clearly his presence was ruining her. Why didn't he just leave then?

It pains me to see women identifying with an abuser because he's using women's experiences. That's a normal human response, and I understand it, but on the other hand, it's messing with our heads so, so bad. Same way how loads of women projected the suffering they experienced onto Depp. It makes me feel so ill, like what a mindf honestly

One flag that stood out is when he talked about her childhood. It was a bad childhood. And then he talks about how the mum was on his side. I didn't like that because I thought it reminds me of those family where parents destroy their kids and they are so messed up as adults yet, the parents continually throw them under the bus despite the fact they had a massive hand in the creation of that alcoholic woman. It didn't sit right.

I can't excuse her behaviour though. She was vile.

I'm an experienced professional in this field. You are talking complete and utter nonsense.

😂I'd take you down in no time if all you got is your empty lines from the textbook. I frankly don't give a SH what authority you provide yourself with that time waste of whatever degree you think comes over common sense and lived experience of women you never heard of or care about. I've seen so many people in uniforms coming out of school like little nerds; they don't know where they start or end, but hey, you got the paper or the little badge innit

Absolutely astonished at this thread! How anyone can watch that and feel Sheree is the victim is beyond me.
The violence she inflicted on Richard was horrific. There is never an excuse.
Why didn’t he just leave the house and stop the abuse?! That’s seriously what you’ve come away from that documentary asking? The same reason every victim of DV doesn’t. If only it was that fucking easy! You do realise you’re judging Richard the same way women are questioned for staying with violent men.
I agree women deserve so much better and the system often lets them down. Not sure how attacking the police for their work on this case helps that cause though. Let’s not deflect from the real problem.

Of course he used her family against her. And she was vile, but the police making that the main point was even more vile. All I saw was a desperate woman doing ridiculous shit to make him go away

@ColdLittleHeart except he wasn't the victim. Just because she harmed him and acted vile doesn't make her the perp. For anyone claiming he's the victim I ask you to reassess his behaviour, his position in society, yes - his physical strength, his motivation, and the support he had around him. No one is even questioning the fact she keeps repeating she wants him to leave and he never gives actual reason why he is not leaving. Women are asked the same and I am not supposed to ask that because why? At the end of the day we acknowledge women stay in abusive situations because they have everything stacked against them. Prove what exactly was stacked against him in this situation

@AllBookmarks

You are just embarrassing yourself.
It's frankly cringeworthy

Boo hoo cry me polite British tears. And yes I already know you're a Brit because only as you mention cringe-worthy documentary like this could come from UK, you all are increasingly becoming incel heaven

In a nutshell, the documentary was shite. I wanted to see both sides of the story, similarly like I'd want to see what the abuser says even tho I assume it's pretty clear cut or have already heard a lot about it in other cases. (And thank you for mentioning actually whoever you were, it really was CRINGE.)

We never heard about all the gross shit he done to her in bed during so called "honeymoon period" or how lovely he was off the camera

If you experienced DARVO from a fker like this rest assured there's women out there like me who know men like this are full of it. Not many but we got your back, whether you shat on your abuser's head or had your children witness that. Leave the pompous self-concerned diploma havers to enjoy their own miserable bubble

@AllBookmarks So weirdly belligerent.

@AllBookmarks

Thanks for clearing that up.
I was trying to understand the rationale behind your posts. You've made it quite obvious that will never be possible.

All the best

No, actually someone who'll get off their ass and help women who you all enjoy putting down, thinking it won't be you, just "them". It doesn't take a lot of courage to criticise a woman for what they do and say does it, favourite pastime instead of confronting men of course. Let's just all shout "How terrible! What a nasty nasty woman" all day 🙄yawn

I've no doubt he was severely abused. Just that I wonder how seriously a woman in his position would be taken seriously.

The last bit towards the end is the most pathetic crap. The poor sad police officer "shocked" how the woman asked if he packed her hair straighteners and have not asked about the children. Maybe because she doesn't want to share anything about her children with a bunch of shitheads who just spent hours judging her after they interviewed the abuser first, maybe it's none of your business how she feels about her children; maybe that's what people do in highly stressful situations; they block out stressful things and try to focus on seemingly mundane. Completely inept and frankly lousy police officers throughout. No, police officers do not deserve any sparing in this at all; it was a slap in the face for all women

I'm in Australia and it isn't on Netflix here. I've just watched it on YouTube. It's definitely the same case, but I'm wondering if it's the exact same show, as some of the responses on this thread are baffling me.

Did I miss footage of their wedding day or incidents of him abusing her? Or is it being inferred that for Sheree(?) to have assaulted, threatened, defacated on, spat on, etc. Richard, he must have done something to have deserved it? Isn't that really some 1970s bullshit going on right there?

I'm ex police, so I do think the officer crying was a little unprofessional, but I think what makes this case unique is that there was extensive documented footage of the abuse, and that the victim in this case (who happened to be male, which is relatively rare in comparison) was fully willing to testify and was compliant in the investigation. Which in itself (oftentimes owing to fear and conditioning) is sadly also a rarity.

I think its a mixture of people who have been treated very very badly by the police and maybe projecting that anger in the wrong direction and in at least one case someone being deliberately provocative for the sake of being provocative. I agree, the case is really shocking!

Thanks @biscuitandcake - I was genuinely a bit confused about the alleged abuse that she was on the receiving end of.

The abuse that Richard received was actually disgusting and brutal, and the fact that it was perpetuated in front of the children beyond words. Back in the day, when in training we had to watch a video taken by a female victim on a camera hidden, when she knew he would start on her after he got back from the football. Which he did. It was HORRIFYING, and even 15yrs later, and now being in another emergency service is probably still one of the worst things I've ever had to watch. And that's saying something.

I can see where people are having issues with the amount of sympathy the victim in this programme seemed to receive when in the past experiences for woman were very different. But I do believe that things are changing for the better. I know from personal and professional experience, I've witnessed that to be the case. However I'm not so naive to think that women still sometimes have less than positive experiences in similar situations.

Again, this case is unique owing to the massive amount of documented evidence of the abuse. That's pretty much vanishingly rare.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

why should he hand her the house and walk away leaving his young children to a monster like that? Many women who are victims fear leaving because they know the father will get unsupervised contact and be a risk to the children . He felt the same and I don't blame him. She was happy to.abuse the kids repeatedly and traumatise them and beat him black and blue whilst threatening to falsely acuse him which would have isolated him even more from the kids. .

Many people believe that if you are truly driven to be violent, it's okay. In this insistence, you'll see some people truly believe the woman was driven to violence, whereas men aren't really driven to violence, they just resort to it.

You'll probably find that these people add to the statistics that show "minor violence" is more frequently perpetrated by women in relationships. They either do it to their male partners, or they are the male partners who accept that their female partner might give them a slap or a push if they are upset.