Mumsnet campaign - family courts

[ArabellaScott]

This is so important.

Questions for the Minister for VAWG?

Post them on.the thread below:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_campaigns/5180070-mnhq-here-we-need-your-help-meeting-with-the-minister-for-victims-and-vawg

Thanks Arabella, bumping.

Wouldn't it be great to have a court system that actually takes VAWG seriously?

Thanks Arabella

Thank you. Reading now.

I cannot imagine a.mother forced to hand over her children to a.man she knows to be violent, abusive, predatory. It's the most inhumane and twisted thing I think I've ever heard and it has to stop.

I've been that mother and I've seen and am still living with the impact on my daughter. There are so many children being deeply damaged by forced contact with men who any sane society would protect them from.

Igmum I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how hard it must be. This should be a huge campaign.

bumping.

Bumping, about to read

Bumping. Going through the court and in this situation.

I’ve known too many women forced to let abusive ex’s have unsupervised access. Men who view their children as their property that they have the right to control.

I think I had ended up somehow thinking that everyone was more aware of coercion and abusive dynamics these days, but they're not, are they?

Letter in today's Guardian about a charity that helps victims of coercive control post-separation:

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2024/oct/07/help-with-post-separation-coercive-control

I was coercively controlled by my ex-husband for many years. He continued the control once I left through the children, gaining 50/50 care when they were just 3 and 6. Later on he was awarded even more. Parental alienation destroyed our lives and impacted massively upon the relationship I once had with my amazing sons.
I'd done nothing wrong but was punished in the worst way possible.
I am still aghast at the family courts over a decade on.

https://www.cafcass.gov.uk/cafcass-publishes-new-domestic-abuse-practice-policy

New Cafcasspolicy on DA that seems to be going in the right direction.

This isn't enough. Cafcass officers need specific training in identifying true parental alienation instead of just accepting the apparent voiced "wishes" of children as read. They need to understand that parental alienation is another form of (often continued) coercive control.

Please post this on the MN campaign page if you haven't yet?

@ArabellaScott Will do. It's too late for me and my children who are now both teens (they were "lost" at 3 and 6), but the trauma of victim-blaming and punishment I was put through for fleeing from dv and coercive control should not have to be endured by anyone.
The comment of the WPC "Show me your bruises or I can't help" will haunt me forever. I was dying inside. Almost literally.
Sadly, I'm not alone.
Too many mothers are without their children a lot of, and sometimes even all, of the time because they simply dared to leave.

My god. I'm so sorry. It's just unspeakable. I hope you and your teens find a way through.

@ArabellaScott Thak you.* *It was devastating at the time; I'm lucky to still be here as losing your children in such a cruel way is literally unimaginable. A pain that never fully goes away and one I will carry for the rest of my life. I have put away the goodbye notes and I am remarried to someone who helps me through the harder days. I battle with the insomnia a decade on!
But I'm one of the lucky ones in that I see my sons - nowhere near as often as I should or would like - but I still see them.
I am still angry at Cafcass and the family courts and I always will be. Their failings ruin lives and families.

Sending love @Youthiswastedontheyoung and so sorry you are going through this ❤️

I'm so sorry. Of course you're angry.

Just bumping this at it seems that not that many have come forward with comments questions.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_campaigns/5180070-mnhq-here-we-need-your-help-meeting-with-the-minister-for-victims-and-vawg

(I assume it was shared on other MN forums)