Shabana Mahmood to be petitioned about family courts/violent non-resident parents

[theilltemperedclavecinist]

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2024/oct/01/paul-and-jack-were-murdered-by-their-abusive-father-why-had-the-family-courts-granted-him-contact

Why is it still like this?

Utterly heart-breaking. Change needs to happen.

I genuinely don't get it. We do a lot to keep them safe: don't expose them to asbestos, make them wear seatbelts, and so forth. But we think it's OK for them to have unsupervised contact with an adult who is known to be violent. I really hope Mahmood does something about it.

From reading the cases MNetters share here on the relationships board and other places, often CAFCASS workers are highly groomable by a charming male abuser and led to believe that he's a lovely man really and it's mostly her fault; Social Services are fixed in the belief that a man who abuses their children's mother even in front of them can still be a good father 🙄and that for children's identity it's better for them to have contact with an abusive parent than no contact, and most of all from what I can see? The same problem we come up with again and again and again on this board: the huge horror of saying NO to men.

Abusive men have done a sterling job landing "parental alienation syndrome" as a reason children might not want to see their dad.

I wish men were given less benefit of the doubt as so many are violent. But as said upthread, the really dangerous ones are often very charming and pull the wool over the judge/the courts eyes.

That story is heartbreaking. Those poor poor boys. And wtf was the CAFCASS officer thinking? 💔

Not feeling up.to reading the story tonight.

I very much hope this changes, though. Maybe worth a letter to SM.

Eight years ago, Throssell launched a petition that called on the government and family courts to ensure there are no more avoidable child deaths because of unsafe child contact. It now has more than 100,000 signatures and Throssell will soon hand it to the secretary of state for justice, Shabana Mahmood. “There should be no ‘presumption’ of contact, there should only be proper investigation, gathering of information and listening to children,” says Throssell. “It’s not for anyone to ‘presume’ a child is safe.”

If this had been a Parliamentary Petition, it would have got a Commons debate as of right, so let's hope SM gives it the same respect.

One woman, whose ex was given five years on the sex offender register for downloading child sexual abuse images, mainly of girls, including babies and young children, was told by her Cafcass worker: “Well, it’s all right because you’ve got a son.”

Jesus wept. That's a damning article, let's hope some action comes from it. Heart-breaking indeed; those poor boys.

Thank you for sharing the petition I have signed and shared with others.

@mumsnet is there anything MN could do to push/promote this campaign. I am sure many women are unaware and others would like to see children protected from abuse.

Mumsnet are seeing the minister to discuss the Family Courts and VAWG. I don't know how to link the thread but please read it and contribute stories if you can.

This is the tip of the iceberg. Too many children suffer from contact with violent and abusive men.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_campaigns/5180070-mnhq-here-we-need-your-help-meeting-with-the-minister-for-victims-and-vawg

Link

“Domestic abuse doesn’t get magically cured at separation; it just changes shape.” so true

Thanks Arabella 😃

Yes, the charming male abuser. Lovely men. NOT.

Why, oh why, don't people, particularly people who should be able to see through the veneer as they see abuse day in/day out in their jobs see this?

It's always HER fault. NOT.

Things have needed to change for too long.