Caroline Criado Perez on male violence and rape

[ArabellaScott]

https://newsletter.carolinecriadoperez.com/p/invisible-women-not-all-menbut-how

Contains details of the horrific French rape case.

'The second thing we just can’t stop talking about is how many of them there were. In just this one small area of France. What does that mean about how many other men would do this if they had a chance? How many men in our lives? Men who are married. With children, and grandchildren. Who seem like devoted husbands and fathers?

This is the question we women have been asking ourselves in the wake of this story as we look at the men around us. The men we love. The men we know and trust. The men who, unlike us, are not talking about this story unless we bring it up with them.

And to these men, I have a question: why are you not talking about it? Does this story not disturb you as much as it disturbs us? Are you not as horrified as we are to be faced, yet again, with just how many men we’re talking about here? With how they live among us, so well-hidden in plain sight, behind happy suburban marriages? Why are you not talking about this to your male friends? Why are you not talking about this in public? '

Thanks for that article, none of the men quoted could give less of a shit. Also chilling.

when men go to prison, often their biggest fear is being raped. For many women, just living daily, our biggest fear is being raped.

Men need to understand why we need single sex spaces. Public transport isn't safe for women, the workplace isn't safe, schools aren't safe, hospitals aren't sfe. We know this yet still we continue quietly putting up and shutting up, being grateful for crumbs the patriarchy throw us.

"Thanks for that article, none of the men quoted could give less of a shit. Also chilling."

Yes, from the "meh, who cares, bored now" guy to the mayor (words fail me reading his comments to the point where I thought shit is he actually one of the 30 unidentified perps??)

From what I've read not all the men were local to Gisele Pelicot and her disgusting freak of a husband. He met them online, on a message board that was specifically for men who wanted unconsented sex. Their collective intent couldn't be made any clearer - there was NO room for pretending it was just a sex game.

Sarah Ditum has written a good article about how the internet has permitted some men to not just explore their worst impulses via porn, but to find others who share their interests to build on an normalise them. It's worth a read:

"The Toaster Theory of Sexual Debasement"

open.substack.com/pub/sarahditum/p/tox-report-65-the-toaster-theory?r=xhvm&utm_medium=ios

Men aren't talking about it. I also spoke to my partner about this story, he wasn't that interested either. I do think a lot of men, if they could get away with rape they would.