Non binary. I think I get it.

[llamalines]

I mean, not the self obsessed men pretending to be NB, but how identifying as NB could be attractive to teenage girls.

I was in a shop yesterday and spoke to a sales assistant who was stunningly beautiful.

She was dressed androgynously - short hair, no make up, male cut clothes. She looked like she was about 18 maybe.

She reminded me of myself when I was a teenager. I wasn't stunningly beautiful, but I used to get a fair bit of attention from sleezy older men on a regular basis and I HATED it.

I remembered how I used to wear baggy jeans and keep my hood up when out, to try to read "boy", to keep the sleezy men at bay. Which worked a bit. I didn't think I was a boy, but it felt like my armour.

I can well imagine teenage girls being sick of the male gaze, of unwanted attention and of boys' expectations driven by porn, and seeing being NB as a way to opt out of all that pressure. I can see my teen self finding a feeling of protection or solace in it, do you know what I mean?

Goodness these girls need access to some solid feminism!!

But that's kind of what I mean - that's all still current. In fact, it's way more mainstream and prevalent than the elective mastectomy stuff. And I think it's not unrelated, tbh. But it's all still body mod stuff and it doesn't get talked about in the same way. So, I can see why someone might look at that and decide that an elective mastectomy is just another body mod that pushes against patriarchal norms. Not saying I agree with that perspective, but it's not the most illogical conclusion ever, particularly if you find breasts an inconvenience or you never want a family etc. And telling them it's mutilation just seems incredibly patronising, particularly when the other stuff happens mostly without comment. I dunno, I just think it's a disconnect that I've definitely heard discussed among non binary ppl I know.

A lot of my eldest DD's best friends are nonbinaries.
It's a subculture, much like goth/emo was 20 years ago. Associated with dyed hair, anime, video games, drawing furry people. Basically its a label geeky girls give themselves if theyre not pretty witty curly wurly sorts of girls.

Thankfully DD thinks its a bit rubbish (I've explained to her that it is internalised misogyny) but she still puts up with it because she doesnt want to fall out with her friends.

That's really interesting, NB women are often dressed for invisibility, but many NB men are almost attention seeking, and actually present as quite "feminine", almost 'camp', or even fetishy, eg: Sam Smith.

marvolousmonsters. It's almost like a binary system with male NB and female NB!

Personally I feel both sorry but also irritated with the NB. The girls want to run away from the female stereotypes forced upon them by society and hide under baggy clothes. But also demand attention by insisting on they/them pronouns. They just all seem very immature.
I'm so glad I'm not young now.

Exactly! The whole thing is so contradictory.

Hopefully the worm will eat its own tail soon and we'll end up in a middle ground where 'jenduh' no longer carries any weight, and people will just be people. Although I think we are still quite far from that utopia.

I see parts of NB trend as a response to some of the third wave ideas such as embracing the expression of stereotypical feminity to challenge objectification of women, which further entrenched some of these.