What will I say? Pronouns

[40andlovelife]

I start a new job next week and will be in a team of new recruits. Emails from team leader and HR demonstrate that the use of pronouns on email signatures are the norm. There's a team meeting planned and I can't get it out of my head that we might be asked to say our pronouns. How will I answer this? Without ruffling bloody feathers on my first week but whilst maintaining my beliefs?

"Oh I don't do that, thanks though".

No thank you (smiley face)

My experience is that it's never a sole question so can be left. A meeting chair might say, "introduce yourselves, including preferred pronouns", and I simply state my full name and role title.

I don't put pronouns in my email signature, this has yet to be mentioned - I'd be interested to hear if anyone's been asked about this.

I'm not fussed, but it'd probably be less confusing for everyone if you use sex based ones.

If it's an 'everyone introduce themselves' and you're asked to include pronouns in the introduction ,or everyone else is, my first move would be to just not. The one pronouns meeting I've been to everyone started off saying them, it got to me and I didn't, and as it continued round the table nobody else did either.

Especially if you're new it's quite easy to say other things instead and (where you've come from, that you're excited to join the yeam) and they may not even notice - or at least not query it.

I said ‘I am female, you can use whatever pronouns you think are appropriate’

I think it’s becoming less prominent. No-one in my trendy industry puts pronouns in emails anymore. Thank god. If asked which has only ever happened a couple of time I ignore it because as people say it’s usually ‘name and pronouns’

I tend to say ‘no thank you‘ cheerfully as if I’m refusing the offer of a cuppa.

seems to work well enough

my fallback is ‘I’m not quite ready to out myself yet, but thank you‘

which also happens to be 100% true.

"I dont mind what pronouns you use when talking about me"

How about “I’m an emotional wreck. My pronouns are ‘there, there’. ”

(with apologies to the person I nicked this from :)

Brilliant. 👆

I tend to just ignore and not mention.

"Please call me 40andlovelife"

My company emails tend to have pronouns in signatures, I've never used them. Never been an issue. Also never seen any with anything other than he/him she/her.

Noticed similiar thing with the introductions, pronouns are mentioned, once someone doesn't say theirs the people who follow don't either. Just ignore the issue, it generally isn't a big deal.

Good luck in the new job!

Just don't mention pronouns in your introduction. If you are prompted again just raise an eyebrow and say "isn't forcing people to declare their beliefs or out themselves as part of a minority generally frowned upon in a professional setting?"

You don't have to declare yourself but don't forget that GC beliefs have been declared to be legitimate beliefs worthy of respect in a democratic society. Any negativity about you declining to mimic a different belief structure would be illegal discrimination.

I think this is a Fringe joke ('I'm an emotionally needy nonbinary person ....') ...funny, but maybe not quite the thing for a new job intro!

The one pronouns meeting I've been to everyone started off saying them, it got to me and I didn't, and as it continued round the table nobody else did either.

I've had this more than once.

Interestingly (to me anyway) my most senior manager starting putting pronouns in her signature a while back and then quietly stopped a few months later. I'd love to know why.

I work in public sector and a few people have pronouns-in-signatures but the vast majority don't.

If asked (I never have been), I'd ignore it if possible. I doubt anyone would push for an answer, unless they're a gender zealot.

I work for a local authority more and more people are doing adding pronouns to there, the one time someone mentioned it I said there was a corporations install signatures and I was following that (no pronouns in it) I'm dreading the day when they change it, hopefully they have enough sense not to

I think the absence of pronouns is a powerful message so as others have said just give your name and job title and ignore any request for pronouns. And obvs don’t add them to any signatures. And I work in a business with very strong DEI presence and no one has ever asked me mine when doing intros!

If pressed (which you won’t be) - “oh you didn’t tell us your pronouns!” I would go with a cheery “You can use whatever pronouns you like”

I have a 3 strikes policy:

1. “no thanks” or ignore.

If prodded or pushed:

2. “I don’t believe in gender, so it’s not relevant to me, like I’m an atheist so declaring a religion isn’t relevant.” Said politely because I think it’s important to normalise rejecting this nonsense as a belief system. If more people just shrug and normalise how weird it all is, then more will follow.

If prodded or pushed again:

3. Unleash hell.

Do as a previous poster suggested: state your name and role and then do a little gushing about how pleased you are to be there. Of course, this is just putting off the problem til another day but it will give you time to test the waters and determine what might be the most appropriate response in future.

Can't you just say mrs or ms whatever you want to call yourself

I love this!

What now?

Just name and job title. Turn to the next person indicating its their turn.
I was at an event where this happened. Once one person omitted their pronouns so did all those who followed him.