What will I say? Pronouns

[40andlovelife]

I start a new job next week and will be in a team of new recruits. Emails from team leader and HR demonstrate that the use of pronouns on email signatures are the norm. There's a team meeting planned and I can't get it out of my head that we might be asked to say our pronouns. How will I answer this? Without ruffling bloody feathers on my first week but whilst maintaining my beliefs?

This is stolen from elsewhere -

' My pronouns are me/I.
How others refer to me is none of my business '

I find it so silly in email signatures. Well, it's silly in general. But really, what's the point? If I send someone an email and they reply, they're not going to be addressing me in the third person.

Of the few people in my organisation who put "their pronouns" in their signature, not one of them is other than what you'd expect from their name. If your name is Linda or John, I'm going to assume you're the sex associated with that name unless informed otherwise, so why bother telling me. Seems a bit performative.

If pressed, I think something like 'I'm not comfortable giving pronouns, but you're welcome to use sex-based pronouns'.

They can interpret 'not comfortable' anyway they like. Personally I'm not comfortable supporting gender ideology, but it reinforces the concept that they cannot be demanded and hopefully stops them asking.

Tell them you are undecided at this time. Then forget about it.

If they push at a later date respond with something which highlights how ridiculous the whole idea is.

'Oh I identify differently depending on what I feel that day. The only way to correctly include my pronouns is 'he,him,she,her,it,they'. Or alternatively I am happy not to include any at all'

And the great thing is that they cannot challenge it otherwise it goes against the whole concept of stating pronouns.

I would just not state them, and if they ask just say "how rude. I'm clearly a woman, and if I didn't want to be addressed as such I would have said."

The only time this has happened to me I’ve just ignored it and stated my name and job title. I wasn’t the only one either!

My name is Talkin Peace and my job is El Presidente

then smile and turn to the next person
nobody will DARE to come back and ask for your pronouns

Loving reading all your responses thank you for taking the time!

Pronouns are not what you want to call yourself, nor are they title.

Everyone is referred to in the third person at some point. You use sex-based pronouns, so tell them your sex-based pronouns.

You aren’t undermining your deeply held belief that pronouns are based on chromosomes by doing that.

You aren’t undermining your deeply held belief that pronouns are based on chromosomes by doing that
How come it's always us who have to be sensible and accommodating and it's never the gender wooists who are being told to get over themselves?

I would just not say them. In the very unlikely scenario that this gets questioned maybe just say "I prefer not to state pronouns, thank you."

Also, don't assume that everyone in your workplace who does state pronouns or wear a rainbow badge is automatically on "the other side". Some of my colleagues who do these things give very little thought to it other than that it seems like a "nice" thing to do. It doesn't stop them eye rolling at some of the nonsense.

I'm obviously a woman. I will never in my life say "my pronouns are she/her", because it would feel completely ridiculous.

Yeah I agree that many people haven't given it much thought, just think they're being inclusive or whatever.

DadJoke · Today 13:45

Everyone is referred to in the third person at some point. You use sex-based pronouns, so tell them your sex-based pronouns.

Why? People have been using the right ones for the entirety of human history. Everyone can tell and know which ones to use.

You aren’t undermining your deeply held belief that pronouns are based on chromosomes by doing that.

But it may be undermining someone's deeply held, legally protected beliefs that it's all a load of bollocks and to not to have to participate in the charade.

Stating pronouns is affirming belief that individuals should have control over how other people think of them, to the point of requiring people to deny clear physical reality and pretend that what is true is not true. Requiring people to affirm any kind of belief like this at work is inappropriate.

Obviously affirming the importance of upholding Equatities and Diversity is important and not in the same category because you can uphold principles in equality and non-discrimination between different diverse groups without sharing any particular belief system.

Let us know how you get on?

THIS
Stating pronouns is affirming belief that individuals should have control over how other people think of them, to the point of requiring people to deny clear physical reality and pretend that what is true is not true. Requiring people to affirm any kind of belief like this at work is inappropriate.

I think my place is starting this nonsense. I am planning to say:
1- I don't do that, thank you.
2- Mandatory declaration of pronouns might be triggering to those uncomfortable being out at work.
3- Other than being a hallmark of narcissism, this is pointless. My pronouns are fuck/off.

Hopefully it wouldn't reach #3.

Tell them it's triggering and then drop your gaze. They'll never ask again.

My name is Jane Smith, Accounts, Pronouns She/Her, star sign Libra, mixed English/Irish heritage, favourite colour purple, I own two cats, I believe Jesus Christ is our lord and saviour, Hashtag Free Palestine... Oh and I'm gluten intolerant. Lovely to meet you all!

Say it with a sickly cheerful disposition and enjoy the stunned awkward silence of your new colleagues 😂

Tempting as some of these suggestions are, many aren't really appropriate for a new hire.

I'd introduced myself without mentioning pronouns. If pushed ... I might go for an amused or sceptical 'really?'

My answer is always that I am generally not present when someone refers to me using anytiming other than my name, and as such they can use whatever they want and I won't care 🤷🏼‍♀️

*anything

If they actually said "what are your pronouns?" (which I doubt) I'd probably just reply with something like "well, I'm a woman, so..." 🤷‍♀️