Bit miffed by school...

[CactusMactus]

Received this email from school at 4pm yesterday:

"Dear Parents/Guardians,
We want to inform you that we will be hosting a guest speaker tomorrow to talk about building empathy for others and the importance of being yourself. This speaker is a member of the LGBTQ+ community and will share their experiences to help foster understanding and respect among our pupils.

Please note that this session is not a compulsory part of the national curriculum. If you prefer to withdraw your child from this 30-minute session, kindly let us know by the end of today, and we will make the necessary arrangements.
Thank you for your support."

So I emailed the school asking for a bit more information, I am totally cool with them learning about LGBTQ+ rights, experience and empathy for others... but there is zero information about who this person is and what their agenda is.

Full disclosure I am gender critical. And would object to my daughter being told she could be a man.

The school has not replied to me. So I am past the point of being able to choose whether my 8 year old listens to this talk or not!

Why would the school not share this information earlier? Surely this "person from the LGBTQ+ community" has had to be DBS checked prior to yesterday afternoon? Surely the school knows what the talk is about?

Any advice?

Agree with this

Sure, but I'm saying that a notification like that, — vague, and without enough notice to realistically opt out — looks just like how you'd operate if what you wanted was to get bums on seats and prevent parents opting their kids out of something you know many won't be happy with.

It's entirely possible, or even likely, that the actual event is something OP would be fine with, and the email was just written in a hurry and forgotten until the last minute. But there's no way to know who the talk is by or what it's about from what's written, and no time to find out. So given recent history, I can see why OP is loath to just blithely assume that it must be fine because it's school.

I think OP is justified in being annoyed that the school hasn't allowed for informed consent/opt-out, whether that's unintentional or not. Parents have a right to opt their kids out of things for a reason, and that right isn't very meaningful if they're not told what the thing is, or given enough time to do so. They're left in a situation where they're going to feel they have to either blanket opt their kids out of everything that could be something they're unhappy with (meaning their kids miss out unnecessarily), or just trust that their kids won't be adversely affected, that staff have good reason to trust everyone they invite, and that the staff's judgement on whether their child will be adversely affected will align closely enough with their own.

Some posters are acting like OP is overreacting or expressing kneejerk bigotry, but from that email, the talk could be absolutely bloody anything, from absolutely bloody anyone. It's pretty authoritarian if people are suggesting that a parent is overreacting or bigoted in objecting to what is, in effect, their right to withdraw their children from certain types of events being taken away.

Empathy is about fellow feeling, and showing compassion for the position of others. Including children. Being aware of the mental and emotional structure of 8 year olds. Being aware of how children process information.

An adult lecturing for 30 minutes on a given topic ( an LGBTQ+ topic,which the school have not elbaorated on, but have given parent's reason to think they may want to withdraw their child) is not modelling empathy.

No, we don't know the precise topic, or who the speaker is...and that is reason enough for caution; especially given what we know has happened in other similar scenarios, as well as the sorts of things children are being told/taught by some teachers, and by some adults from outside activist groups.

Children should not be told, or have it suggested to then that they can change sex; or that their sex is negotiable. That is not only irresponsible, but deeply unempathic,

Perhaps I should not have mentioned the DBS check.

I only raised that as I assumed (maybe falsely) that schools did checks on people prior to them talking to the kids... And would have done so in advance of the evening before the talk.

So the school would have had time to consult parents.... I assumed.

Perhaps you didn't, but unless you're going to say you also had no concept of mummies and daddies or hetero fairytale love stories this comment only justifies why children receive this kind of education nowadays

I'm appalled this has happened. I smell a rat. I strongly urge you to complain to the school and the governors. You've plenty of suggestions on here on what to say.

Yes, The timing is a concern. A close of year assembly is meant to signal community, togetherness, and with messages about what to reflect on or process over the holiday, and what to expect at the start of a new school year. Maybe some entertainment; a play, a concert, a prizegiving.

This sounds like an activist organisation.

Well said.

I'm getting really fed up of "safeguarding" being used to justify authoritarian responses to what should be taught in schools.

I actually think that pretty much, 'mummies and daddies or hetero fairytale love stories' are good enough for 8 year olds and younger. AIUI, primary schools do not routinely teach sex education (and I gather the new govt plans to stop that altogether). So where all these 8 year olds who are fully clued up about sex are, I don't know.

I'm an ex teacher. My daughter is currently teaching; I have a nine year old granddaughter. I have gay friends and family members.

I think you need to be aware that people who post here are not flat one dimensional beings, or the bigots of your imagination; but people with experience and professional responsibilities.

I've spelled out quite clearly why I think this late communication from the school is an issue - for several reasons.

Can you explain why it's age appropriate for children to learn about heterosexuals families and heterosexual love stories existing but not gay or lesbian ones in a way that doesn't make you sound homophobic? Who said anything about sex?

Considering how strident some posters here are about definitions of women and gender, they find other words like grooming and safeguarding to be more open to modification apparently.

All I'm saying is that sex education should be age-appropriate. Applies to all aspects of sex. I'm not going to be drawn into any cheap attempts to paint me as a homophobe.

Why are you talking about homophobia? It is quite obvious that the concerns here relate to gender identity ideology being taught to children.

Children of that age can have images of same sex parents and different family structures introduced in more subtle ways than having a an activist stand at the front of the room and lecture to them.

Again why is this sex education?! Do you consider reading a story about a prince and a princess to be sex education? Is there a reason why explaining someone has two mummies instead of a mummy and a daddy somehow sexual when the mum and dad aren't?
You're painting yourself there...

Withdraw your child. I would just on the basis of not enough information whether you're gender critical or not. They need to know they can't just call in speakers willy nilly last minute.

These are 8 year olds.....you clearly have little experience of this age group.

There are far more age appropriate ways of introducing relationship and sexuality learning than by having an obviously activist person coming in to school on the last day of term.

And you keep typing out thoughtless cliches and critically unreflective bilge - of the sort that are fairly routine from trans activist and their supposed allies in the LGB 'community'.

Literally I've asked you what evidence you have for the assumptions you've made. Can you not provide even one bit?

Can you not read, or comprehend what you read? I've explained my position on numerous occasions. I'll not be responding again. I've no more time for this nonsense.

Lol you've typed that to every person who disagreed with you once again based on no evidence!
Can you give examples of these in an education setting and how you know the speak you've decided is an activist wasn't using the methods you so approve of?

The only good thing op, is that your little one will be able to tell you all about it and that’s the vehicle for you to have your own parental influence and sanity check on it.

Yes your position based on absolutely no evidence. If you don't have it you can also just not respond instead of responding to say you'll not be responding.