Bit miffed by school...

[CactusMactus]

Received this email from school at 4pm yesterday:

"Dear Parents/Guardians,
We want to inform you that we will be hosting a guest speaker tomorrow to talk about building empathy for others and the importance of being yourself. This speaker is a member of the LGBTQ+ community and will share their experiences to help foster understanding and respect among our pupils.

Please note that this session is not a compulsory part of the national curriculum. If you prefer to withdraw your child from this 30-minute session, kindly let us know by the end of today, and we will make the necessary arrangements.
Thank you for your support."

So I emailed the school asking for a bit more information, I am totally cool with them learning about LGBTQ+ rights, experience and empathy for others... but there is zero information about who this person is and what their agenda is.

Full disclosure I am gender critical. And would object to my daughter being told she could be a man.

The school has not replied to me. So I am past the point of being able to choose whether my 8 year old listens to this talk or not!

Why would the school not share this information earlier? Surely this "person from the LGBTQ+ community" has had to be DBS checked prior to yesterday afternoon? Surely the school knows what the talk is about?

Any advice?

So what are your thoughts on the police coming in for visits? They're sometimes men, they talk about scary things like drugs, to inform the kids about the world around them? Is that giving men access for no reason? What about Charities who come to talk about animal rescue and welfare? Relevant and worthy enough? What about those god awful traveling plays and performing groups?

Where is the line?

If you are in a safeguarding role, then you need to reflect.

But you know this.

Trust is earned not given.

@ReResisterOfTwaddleRex thank you for your professional opinion.

Why are LGBTQ+ labelled people considered the authority on empathy these days?

Research shows that one of the ways empathy is developed in children, particularly at school, is by being exposed to story books that have a diverse range of characters and plots.

But no, invite a random man in on a spurious context…🙄

I would feel exactly as you do about this op. It is just poor communication that the school haven't explained who the speaker is and what they are speaking about. I would expect that too and wouldn't be comfortable sending my child to the session without that information, for the same reasons as you.

I thought you were going to say your child was older. I saw "8" and my brain immediately thought Y8 . . . . But they are aged 8?! So year 3 or year 4? I just don't think that's a particularly appropriate topic for them at all. Unless, it's something on how all families are different etc and perhaps the school has invited in some same sex parents from within the school community or similar? That kind of thing would be appropriate.

Ridiculous of them not to say more.

I'd want to know who the speaker is, who they represent and what the session will cover.
Without that I couldn't possibly make an informed decision, so I would withdraw my child and ask the school to ensure clarity and sufficient time to ask questions next time.
It may well be a genuine last minute opportunity but in the current climate, I'm afraid my instinct is to assume something is being hidden, and I want to know WHAT and WHY.
Hidden agendas do not benefit the children.

As we thought - safeguarding children in the absence of answers to reasonable questions is bigotry.

Withdraw your child but spend the extra time with her giving an age-appropriate grounding in what an ideal sensible session like that should be:

• It's important to treat everyone with respect and dignity even if they seem very different to the people you are used to
• same sex relationships are ok, not everyone wants to pair up as mummies and daddies when they are grown up
• lots of people who are quite different from the rest of the people around them have had some really bad experiences of being bullied. It's important to stand up to bullies and have empathy for those who have been bullied
• there are lots of sexist stereotypes in the world and you don't ever have to conform to them
• some people who don't like the sexist stereotypes of their sex have a belief that this means they aren't actually of that sex. That's not a belief we have to share but it's important to respect other people's beliefs as long as they aren't doing anyone any harm
• It's also important to have self-respect and make sure that your empathy for people who've had difficult experiences and your respect for people's particular beliefs doesn't accidentally put you in a position where you aren't being respected yourself.

This is such a useful list of talking points. Thank you!

Are you saying teachers can't teach empathy in school so external agencies have to be called in? You must know there's an agenda here.
I'm worried if you're involved in safeguarding and support parents not being given sufficient notice to make an informed decision.

When we have had other visitors or talks at the school parents have been informed well in advance. For example, talks on online safely - we knew who was giving the talks and what they were discussing - this was great as we could talk to the kids ourselves...

Unfortunately I was not able to withdraw my child as the talk went ahead first thing this morning... I have only just been advised.

The school gave no information on a person visiting the school or what they intended to talk to the children about. They gave no time for parents to withdraw.

This is not me being a paranoid bigot... this is the school allowing a person to talk to my child without my permission.

It doesn't matter which community they are from.

I think a formal complaint is in order.
What the hell are they hiding?

You can't just throw around the word safeguarding. There is nothing raised in the OP that hints at a safeguarding concern unless you think safeguarding policies are about things you just don't like.

Have you found out from your child what the talk was about and who was talking? It might be as pp say just a talk about bullying and being gay etc or something else. I would criticise the last minute timing of this though, especially if your school is usually good with communicating information about talks. It seems a bit strange no proper notice was provided for this talk.

I think you're going to have to be 'that parent'.

I'm a left field lefty but I won't have my impressionable children told people can change sex.

My aunt withdrew her children from sex education many years ago, didn't make her popular with the school but I can see why she did it now.

Still none of the questions and concerns you've just typed out mean that people should be throwing around the word safeguarding. The fact that you're jumping to the word agenda sounds pretty homophobic as well and as much as many posters here are trying to say"I wouldn't mind if it was a sensible lesbian" they sound no different to someone who is paranoid about the "gay agenda" and would try to stop their child having a talk held by a lesbian on the basis of safeguarding. Say you don't agree with it, withdraw your child, whatever - but don't try and justify your discomfort or prejudice as a "safeguarding" concern equivalent to children being put in danger of abuse or harm.

And how do you know? OP doesn't know and it's there school that arnt providing information so how do YOU know

bollocks and histeria
Is histeria the same as testerical?

I don't like the sound of your school or its attitude towards parents. Fortunately, not all schools have this attitude, and they pride themselves on open and honest communication.

A 30 minute session geared towards 8 year olds - based on being kind towards those who just " want to be themselves" suggests very much an adult agenda, and very much sounds like a 'gender identity' agenda at that; rather than teaching about different kinds of family structure or about being gay. Such a lesson would require far more than 30 minutes anyway.

Whatever the case, the school's approach is shoddy and unprofessional in the extreme; and for that reason alone I'd be quite concerned. I hope and trust that you are not teacher yourself? Schools have responsibility towards the children in their care. and towards the parents of those children.

The OP does not have a bigoted world view. She simply wants her child to receive information appropriate to their age and in ways that she, as the parent, has some control over.
Providing a less than 24 hour "warning" after school hours is indeed a flawed process and the governors need to be made aware of this.

You've got to formally complain. The school clearly never had any intention of asking parental consent - or telling you what you were consenting to.