Furries in schools

[Jamfirstest]

I have name changed for this. Forgive me if this isn't the right board but I need to talk this through to get my head around this.

Another parent has just told me there is a furry community of young people at her dc secondary school which is in my city and an ordinary comprehensive.

The school is humouring the accessories and so on and they now have a designated room in the school to congregate. Apparently there was a request for a litter tray in the toilets though this was denied (google tells me this aspect might have been a hoax attempt).

The secondaries around here are super strict with uniforms. How is this allowed???

So I'm told some children will only respond in animal noises.

I knew what a furry was before. What adults do for fun is none of my business. But this in schools???? Or have I been under a rock?

The whole litter tray thing is an urban legend.

(And it gets reposted on here every so often.)

Does that mean everything other than that that people have posted on here is also untrue? Even stuff they've seen themselves?

Who you gonna believe, nauticant? Me, or your lying eyes?

I believe in life after love.

This link made me laugh. Works for vegans and all sorts 🤣

Well today I saw two girls in the park with masks and tails acting as animals. They were about 13 I’d guess.

Is this mainly girls or are boys doing this too?

I don’t believe it is happening because I haven’t seen a single sad face article in the DM saying “ The school sent my cat identifying daughter home for wearing cat ears and a tail because they said it wasn’t school uniform”. Complete with a photo of the said child trying to look sad in a matalan kitty ears headband and a bedraggled tail , and child’s grim faced parent standing with arms akimbo in a back garden that could do with a little attention. When that happens I will accept that there is an outbreak of cat mania in UK schools.

Ten years ago it seemed utterly unbelievable that teenage girls were coming out as transgender in friendship clusters, inspired by YouTube, Tumblr and CBBC.

My son is in year 6 and his best friend (a girl) wears a cat ears headband constantly. In school and out.
Afaik it's not anything sinister, just that she really likes cats! But I do worry that she could potentially get pulled into some weird "adult" shit in the next few years.

Litter trays in schools is a hoax. Jon Ronson has an episode mentioning it in this R4 series (rather good)

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/series/m0011cpr?partner=uk.co.bbc&origin=share-mobile

Individual kids on the other hand... my DD has a friend who as late as 14 thought she was a Therian, went around wearing a tail and ears, learned to run on all fours, and found a daft YouTube channel presented by some woman who advocated all this nonsense. It was very sad: she began high school and was teased so badly that her parents had to move her to another school.

The sort of thing that in the past a child would have grown out of by the age of six.

My DC advised they knew of furries in school, I asked them if either of them identified themselves as a furry?

Neither seemed keen on the furries diet, which I am sure would have reduced my food bill considerably 😂😂😂

Why aren't these kids growing out of this stuff? It's so odd.

I can't help but think it's related to the way even adults now totally seem immersed in fandoms, and take it to quite an extreme level.

This particular generation have been heavily impacted by covid lockdowns. That's meant an enormous amount more screen/online time, social isolation, and stress. It's impacted their immune systems and I'm sure it's impacted their social and emotional development, too.

And self-expression and self-identification is way more emphasised than it used to be. There are always going to be people at the edges, regardless of what's normal at the time.

Trevor Moore called it many years ago (mild language warning):

KiwiFarms had a clip of some kid coming across two other kids in school, one walking the other round on a leash. Probably can't link to the Farms, though. May see if I can find it elsewhere. The kid who who came up to them couldn't stop laughing.

@Fruityful I know it's meant to be 'funny', it's on comedy central but this is an adult singing about how kids should bully other kids. It's pro bullying. Is that really the side people want to take?

It's a good question and actually one I honestly gave a bit of thought to before posting.

Physical bullying? No. And actually the line about swirlies is one that made me hesitate about posting but I think it was more Trever Moore just spinning a rhyme as really what you see depicted in the video mainly is mockery.

Young kids? No. But if an adult walked into work saying they were a vampire or a wolf or talking about their anime body pillow, I would have on compunction about bursting out laughing. So at what point in a young person's life do we transition (I'm reclaiming the word!) encouraging a little kid's imagination of play-acting as a wolf to horror at an adult doing the same. It has to happen at some point and I think it comes in bit by bit as children age out of that.

The problem isn't so much bullying or lack, as institutional protection and intervention that tells kids nobody can ever mock them for what they do. As Trevor sings in the song: "With nothing but encouragement, these kids don't know what they are". Taking the song as a whole what I really get from it is a light-hearted but serious take down of prohibiting any actual pushback against absurdity. He's talking about how the rush to protect based on "legit social movements from before" is actually harmful.

I honestly have to agree with him when you have teachers and institutions punishing people (including kids) for saying what we all know is the truth. Like that girl who got suspended for telling another girl that she wasn't a cat. He calls out that sort of protection for "making a mockery of legit social movements from before". His lyrics are pretty much explicit not that he loves bullying - the song actually starts off with him thinking a kid is being bullied for being gay or similar. But that maybe we've gone "too far".

You make a valid point but I think so does he. Maybe it's the KiwiFarms approach but sometimes laughter is the best way to discredit something. At young kids? No. But if a man dressed as some extreme caricature of a woman walks into a room and everybody starts laughing it sends a powerful message. We seem to be creating a society where there is no individual expression of criticism but everything must go 'up the chain' to Authority where it can be petitioned to condemn something if it agrees, but never yourself give a direct criticism or laugh at someone. I don't think that's healthy.

Now, that's a very long reply but I think your question deserved it because it's a contentious issue and really, as you see, I actually did think about this before I posted.

As a total aside, I would normally take something being on Comedy Central as a sign something isn't funny but this was six years ago and the late, great Trevor Moore (RIP) is a huge exception. FWIW, something more wholesome from the man if you like:

Uh, actually, I forgot there's no edit function on Mumsnet and I also forgot there's some "language" in the clip. Belated language warning? 😯🙃

This is from 2018, in the USA. Dr Morton recommends GLSEN, which IIRC is the US equivalent of all the LGBT+ and Allies Clubs that are springing up in UK schools from Primary upwards.

Making a Safe Place for Students Who Identify as Furries, Therians, and Otherkins
by Dr Cythia Morton

Tips for School Counselors to Support Students Self Identifying as "Furries", "Therians", or "Otherkins"

1. Make yourself available and visible to all students.

As you would make yourself available to a student with an academic issue or a student who identifies as LGBTQ, making yourself known as a student advocate for all students is essential. GLSEN offers a safe space kit that has stickers and posters that can be displayed in your office for students. Since many "furries", "therians", and "otherkins" often identify as non-heterosexual, this may be a good way for them to know that you are open to seeing all students.

1. Be supportive of students who share their differences.

Whether it is self-injurious behavior, coming out as LGBTQ, or identifying as a "furry" or "otherkin", being supportive of the person is paramount. What does support look like for a student who tells you something very personal?

1. Teach others to be an ally for those who are targets of bullying.

The Anti-Defamation League has published a list of six simple steps to help students to be supportive of others who may be facing bullying behavior.

1. Don't focus on their identity, but on the problem they want to work on.

Often students refuse to come to the school counselor because they are afraid they will be judged or thought of as "crazy". In fact, many sites where "furries" and "otherkins" visit often express the fear of being thought of as mentally ill and locked up. As a school counselor, it is important that we make all students feel comfortable that they can talk to us and we are not going to "freak out" if they share something personal with us. So if a student comes to you feeling anxious and expresses that they are an elf, it is important you do not focus on the "elf" disclosure. Providing the student with strategies for anxiety will be more helpful than discussing why they believe they are a elf.

1. Consult with colleagues and other therapist who may have worked with students who identify as one of these sub groups.

I can't say enough about how important it is to consult with other colleagues and experts. In fact, I regularly consult with others and make a common practice to reach out if I am not sure how to work with a particular student.

1. If you feel uncomfortable, refer but pursue additional training and supervision.

The 2016 ASCA Ethical Standards indicate that school counselors should...

"Refrain from referring students based solely on the school counselor’s personal beliefs or values rooted in one’s religion, culture, ethnicity or personal worldview. School counselors maintain the highest respect for student diversity. School counselors should pursue additional training and supervision in areas where they are at risk of imposing their values on students, especially when the school counselor’s values are discriminatory in nature. School counselors do not impose their values on students and/or families when making referrals to outside resources for student and/or family support."

Before writing this article, I have to admit I was anxious about working with students who self identify as one of these sub cultures. However, now I am reminded that they are students who deserve to be treated like anyone else which makes me feel more at ease. I am not saying I am an expert (by no means), but educating ourselves can alleviate a lot of fear about the unknown when working with these students. I hope this post may be helpful if you have a student who reveals that he/she self identifies as one of these groups.

Full article (on visually atrocious blog):

https://forhighschoolcounselors.blogspot.com/2018/02/making-safe-place-for-students-who.html

Westfield School: The College Admission and Counseling Office, directed by Dr. Cynthia Morton, works closely with students as they make steps toward graduation and prepare for their postsecondary options.

Dr. Cynthia MortonBA History, Georgia Southern University
MED Social Science, Georgia Southern University
Ed.S School Counseling, Georgia Southern University
Ed.D Leadership, Walden University
Licensed Professional Counselor
Adjunct Faculty, Rockdale Virtual Campus, Peer Leadership

https://www.westfieldschool.org/college-admission-and-counseling

Dr Cynthia Morton, Association for Conflict Resolution
https://acrnet.org/members/?id=54552879

Meanwhile, Kathleen C. Gerbasi seems to be a world expert on these phenomena.

Kathleen C. Gerbasi, Ph.D. is a social psychologist and anthrozoologist.She is the pioneering researcher of peer reviewed studies of furries. Her firststudy, Furries From A to Z (Anthropomorphism to Zoomorphism) was published in the journal Society & Animals in 2008.

(7) (PDF) Furries, therians and otherkin, oh my! What do all those words mean, anyway?.

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/319483229_Furries_therians_and_otherkin_oh_my_What_do_all_those_words_mean_anyway

Kathleen C. Gerbasi's research while affiliated with Niagara County Community College and other places

(More research into furries, therians and otherkin that you can shake a stick at!)

https://www.researchgate.net/scientific-contributions/Kathleen-C-Gerbasi-2028538764

(Free membership of Researchgate is a good way to get your mitts on all sorts of published research.)

Silliness AAAAND the parents are EVEN MORE SILLY to allow their kids to behave in this way 🙄