Asking a school what their policy on gender questioning children is?

[CiaoBe]

Has anyone done this?

I know what it is in reality (affirm behind parents back, change name and pronouns without parental knowledge)

But after the cass report I'd like to ask them what it is in writing.

I'm considering making a complaint.

Well it's nearly 2pm and had no response to the 2nd email asking if they were following a particular policy and if so, can I have a copy of it to read over the weekend.

They never got back to me so I'm going to be going into the meeting feeling a little blind and annoyed TBH. As I don't know if they were just randomly deciding this as they went along or were following some guidelines.

Keep asking these questions when you meet them and just write all the answers down (or have someone else do it). You don't have to say anything or commit to anything at all. If they ask you a question, say you are going to need to think about it.

Then send everything they have said back to them as an email to confirm their position. And work out what you want to do next. Take this as the first stage, not the only change. And good luck.

You don’t have to go ahead with the meeting on Monday - you could go back and say you’d like a response to your previous email before meeting with you.

On the subject of recording - you can record the meeting for your personal use https://childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/use-of-recordings/

I think they are panicking, possibly because they either don’t have a policy, don’t align with Cass or don’t have proper records about your daughters case.

What do you think op and others? Would it be better to not be making this specifically about your daughter? But a matter of principle with your daughter as an example if needed? I’m not sure that adding your own grief and trauma will help you get what you want from them iyswim, is it a situation where an attempt at impartiality on your part could be useful?

I don't know much about schools, but want to cheer you on.

I think you mentioned there were three trans members of staff (think it was you..?).

Is there a risk one (or all three) will be invited into the meeting?

If they have not sent it to you. It doesn’t exist. And if there is anything it’s illegal.

you’ve scared the life out of them and they will try to scare you away but you’re here for your child and every other child at that school. You have right on your side, and now the law, and the momentum of the Cass review

youre doing the right thing every step of the way - it sounds terrifying. I’m doing the same. And I have an ex , who agrees with TWAW to deal with!

it’s going g to be ok. You’re right. They are the ones who are afraid not you.

I hope not.

I don't see why they should as I've never had any involvement with them before and AFAIK they don't have naythinlg to do with safeguarding.

I've not had any information on who is going to be there.

They probably don't have a written procedure and were probably following Stonewall guidance.

What Mrs Overton said, ask those questions.

Keeping it about your child has the advantage that they absolutely have to tell you, and that if you don't get a satisfactory response you can raise it up as a complaint.

I'm going to sit and write notes this evening about what I want to say/ask.

There are some general enquiries but I'll try and keep it about DDs case.

Any help available?

Am writing my questions and pondering responses.

The school knew that I was concerned about gender indoctrination as alot of my daughters friends were trans.

I'd had discussions about this with HOY and was told that my DD was using a nickname that was not gender related but just a unisex nickname.

It layer came out she changed this nickname (that was friends only) to a male name that was used by teachers with male pronouns too.

I want to ask why I wanst informed.

I think they're going to answer that they knew I wasn't supportive of my DD being trans or NB and it was for her protection, because I wouldn't support it.

Of course they know she would never be in any danger from me. They know me well.

I think they did know I wouldn't allow it though.

How do I approach this if they give safeguarding as the reason for not informing me?

This is a short answer because I am rubbish on a phone keyboard but in short it is social transition which is not a neutral act and as they are not psychologists it is not for them to decide whether it was the right course of action or not.

When we went through this we said we would be consulting a professional and their advice was that it was not appropriate. They were not equipped to make that judgment.

That it is not a neutral act us I believe in the Cass report. But just ask them if they are trained psychologists. And if not they can fuck of.

Thankyou. That's really helped.

That's a good response.
Only the courts can remove your rights / responsibilities as a parent.
Adults in schools have zero qualifications in helping children to "change sex" They're being "professionally dangerous" in undertaking a serious psychological intervention.

You could always share this with them from a qualified clinical psychologist:

https://www.transgendertrend.com/teenager-says-theyre-transgender/

Good luck for tomorrow.

Am now on a proper computer and so can type properly.

This is also a very helpful summary and was I think written before the Cass Report which would support what it says strongly:

https://safeschoolsallianceuk.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/22Aug_Advice-note-schools-socially-transitioning.pdf

Questioning your gender is a natural part of adolescence for many teenagers and it is not for the school to judge whether this is because they are trans, because they are a teenager or whether there are other factors at play such as neurodiversity or abuse.

Over the last year, it has become increasingly clear that schools who transition behind parents' backs are on very dodgy legal ground, but there hasn't been a case because, frankly, who would want a court case when you've got all this on your plate as it is and an unhappy child. (I say that as someone who has been there and got the t-shirt, and Safe Schools Alliance would I think have supported us had we done a court case.)

But again, remember that you don't have to say anything yourself today. Ask questions, write the answers down very carefully and say at the end that you are going to be taking advice from other sources. Then email them a summary of the meeting afterwards.

Then, when you know what they are saying talk to Transgender Trend, Bayswater (who helped us so much) and Safe Schools Alliance. They will give you very specific advice and support.

Also, look at @ROGDmum who is on here and on Twitter (https://twitter.com/rogdmum) who has been battling this for 3 years - her recent threads on what happened are shocking.

Good luck, will be rooting for you.

How did it go?