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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Mixed changing room - is this considered ok these days?

218 replies

Scirocco · 06/04/2024 14:54

Today I took my toddler swimming. Or rather, tried to.

We walked in to a giant changing area, with rows of cubicles with partial height walls and doors (gaps above and below them, doors low enough that you could see the heads of people changing). No single sex changing option. Men walking around mid-change (a towel round a waist, for example). The aisle in between the cubicles had quite a few people (all men or boys) standing looking at their phones.

Maybe it's me, maybe I'm just being prudish, but it felt really inappropriate and unsafe, with an absence of privacy.

When I asked the receptionist if there was single-sex changing available, I was told no, because it's more inclusive this way...

Is this the normal now?

(We went to the park instead.)

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
RedToothBrush · 06/04/2024 15:51

Rosesanddaisies1 · 06/04/2024 15:12

Our Leisure centre has one changing rooms for everyone, has done for years, it’s nothing new. The cubicles are private. I cannot see why it’s an issue. It’s far more inclusive, and much easier for parents taking kids.

Edited

Are you incapable of reading the thread to work out why it's a problem and that single sex spaces in addition would reduce some of these issues?

Beginningless · 06/04/2024 15:52

You should write to them to feed back why you feel the services are absolutely not inclusive, as you feel the need to self exclude due to the lack of safety and dignity. Mixed sex changing rooms with fully closed cubicles are one thing; no wonder you felt exposed in the set up you describe.

Floisme · 06/04/2024 15:56

I don't think in the least weird to ask for single sex changing rooms in addition to a mixed family area. If there were a good argument against doing so then I imagine people would be able to make it without having to resort to patronising comments.

benefitstaxcredithelp · 06/04/2024 15:57

I agree you should write to them.
Until people start calling this shit out it will just keep on snowballing.

Grammarnut · 06/04/2024 15:58

The pool/gym I belong to has single sex changing rooms, and explicitly say no males over 7 in the female changing room. There is also a family changing room with separate showers, cublicles etc (some dads bring toddlers to swimming lessons). I haven't been to the council leisure center for some while but it still seems to have single sex changing rooms. Might go one day to find out, but I don't think the arrangement you saw is general.
Just to add, the other day when I came in to the changing room a female member of staff alerted me to the fact a man was changing a shower head - she was obviously chaperoning him for his benefit and ours.

Shetlands · 06/04/2024 15:59

It happens because we women put up with it. Leisure centres would provide adequate privacy if they started losing visitors in high numbers.

Grammarnut · 06/04/2024 16:02

mollyfolk · 06/04/2024 15:00

I like mixed changing rooms because I can bring in my boy with us. I can’t believe you took your child out because there were men with towels around them and people could see the top of your head changing. Seems like a bit of an over reaction.

I think the main issue is that privacy was a bit thin and the men were using phones, which is not allowed because of safeguarding issues e.g. taking photos when people are not aware of it. OP would have been within her rights to report that at the very least.

Grammarnut · 06/04/2024 16:06

Rosesanddaisies1 · 06/04/2024 15:12

Our Leisure centre has one changing rooms for everyone, has done for years, it’s nothing new. The cubicles are private. I cannot see why it’s an issue. It’s far more inclusive, and much easier for parents taking kids.

Edited

How many people feel excluded by this inclusivity, though? It's impossible to count absences. Also, the OP says the cubicles were not private, but had spaces at top and bottom - very easy for someone to take photos from the top or the bottom. The whole place sounds a safeguarding nightmare.

MrsOvertonsWindow · 06/04/2024 16:11

They're not OK OP. Predators love them. Self centred adults with no concerns about safeguarding women and children seem to be pretty keen on them.

After all, inclusive means including the very people who should be kept away from women and children when undressing. 😑

arethereanyleftatall · 06/04/2024 16:13

I'd be inclined to say sonething to the centre op.

I think about 5 years ago under the 'be kind' hashtag, buildings changed to mixed sex believing that included everyone.

But they didn't think it through very well, because many women prefer single sex, AND mixed sex has since been proven to be less safe for women.

Women are now making noise, the more the merrier, to bring back female only change, alongside mixed if that keeps everyone happy.

The more noise we make, the sooner this will happen.

Dumbledoreslemonsherbets · 06/04/2024 16:13

Yes, it's SO inclusive of flashers and paedophiles. But exclusionary towards Muslim and other religious women and men, rape survivors, and people who don't want to be filmed when undressing at a swimming pool.

arethereanyleftatall · 06/04/2024 16:15

Scirocco · 06/04/2024 15:13

Thanks everyone, this has helped reassure me that I'm not being weird. Toddler and I won't be going back there, and I'm going to write a letter to their management to highlight the safeguarding and privacy issues.

Good plan. Sorry, I didn't get all the way through before I posted.

SaffronSpice · 06/04/2024 16:16

Remember you are 18 times more likely to be assaulted in a mixed sex changing room than a single sex one. And that doesn’t include phone voyeurs.

A friend never learnt to swim with school as the first week the boys stood on the benches to leer at the girls over the top of the cubicles so she feigned sickness to never go back. She never learnt to swim because she was not protected by the provision of single sex facilities.

The absence of single sex facilities are not inclusive, they discriminate against women and girls.

DrCoconut · 06/04/2024 16:17

At our local pool it's one big area with cubicles of varying sizes but the walls/doors go right up to the ceiling. There is a small gap at the bottom but you'd have to make a conscious effort to look under. They also have some completely enclosed individual shower/change rooms for those who prefer that. I prefer it to another pool in the area where it's strictly segregated as my DS is 8 but young for his age and wouldn't cope with changing alone in the men's.

SaffronSpice · 06/04/2024 16:18

There is a small gap at the bottom but you'd have to make a conscious effort to look under.

just enough for a phone…

arethereanyleftatall · 06/04/2024 16:21

@Scirocco - have a look at the 'sex matters' charity as they will probably have a template letter for you.

@Rosesanddaisies1 you do you. Luckily, you don't get to decide how other women feel about mixed sexual facilities. I am somewhat intrigued by what you mean by 'it's far more inclusive' when the op is literally about someone self excluding. Can you articulate what you actually mean by 'more inclusive.' ?

SaffronSpice · 06/04/2024 16:22

We have ‘cubicles’ like OP describes at one our local pools - covering the average person from knee to shoulder height only. However, these are in single sex changing rooms. I would never use them in a mixed sex space.

Helleofabore · 06/04/2024 16:31

OP. You are not alone. You should write to the centre and let them know. If may be a different story if the doors and cubicle walls were floor to ceiling but these are very clearly not.

Marlaysydney12 · 06/04/2024 16:34

Our local pool has a changing village that is mixed sex and open to the pool. The cubicals are generous, with doors and walls that go from floor to wayover head height.
The showers are in the pool area. It does surpirse me when people take a long shower there, rather than a quick rinse off.
This set up suits me, with a young boy. But im very glad the walls are so high.

ArabellaScott · 06/04/2024 16:47

God, this one just got banned from the fucking pool!

https://www.rotherhamadvertiser.co.uk/news/crime/pool-ban-but-no-jail-for-changing-room-voyeur-4313920

ThreeEggOmlette · 06/04/2024 17:02

My local pool has a changing village.
I feel okay with it at present - as others have said when you have young sons it feels safer than sending an 8yo off into the men's alone, also sounds like the doors are higher.

BUT that doesn't mean it suits everyone & I agree some segregated provision should be on offer.

I've also once witnessed teen boys peeping at each other over the top 'for laughs' totally unaware how inappropriate (and stupid for their own sakes) they're being, while little kids get changed in adjacent cubicles.

Dumbledoreslemonsherbets · 06/04/2024 17:02

And of course we know that getting away with voyeurism and 'minor' crimes often is a precursor to more serious offences. As in the case of Wayne Couzens, 'Katie' Dolatowski, and many many more.

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