I initially posted this on AIBU, but I'd quite like the thought of some of the wise women who I have come to love and respect on this board.
If it wasn't for this board, I don't think I would have been able to ive the advice I did.
It's all bothering me as I havent got anyone IRL I can talk to about it.
Hi all,
A very good friend of mine is a single mum to a two year old girl. She met a man two months ago who she thinks is absolutely amazing, and has been really 'healing' since the very toxic father of her baby.
I went to see her recently and asked her about her new man. As we're good friends, we got straight into it, and she told me about this rather, in my eyes, RED FLAG.
So she tells me that he was accused by his brother and brother's wife of sexual assault of their daughter (his neice). There was a case, but he was never found guilty. Case was dropped, etc.
When my friend told me that I clapped my hand to my mouth and couldn't really hold back on a rather strong reaction. Think along of the lines of:
''oooohhh no!!! what a red flag!!! how could you ever trust him with your daughter... etc etc''
I didn't tell her what to do, or shame her in any way, but I did very strongly explain that this is a red flag and I wouldn't tak the risk with my child.
Now, she believes his story, for various reasons - like, they found no evidence on any of his tech devices, and the whole family is on his side (although she can only know this from his own word. Also the fact her told her almost straight away made her feel he was honest.
Claire's law can't be used, as he is from a euro country.
I think I've scared my friend and now she is very upset coming to terms with having to end what she thought was going to be a lovely relationship.
Was I wrong to have warned her so strongly? I'm kinda feeling bad to see her so upset.
I can't really discuss this with actual friends as it is confidential to her, so I'm asking mumsnet what they think.