Trying to understand

[Margo2023]

I will apologise in advance for not using correct terms as I don't have much of an understanding of this topic at all. My male neighbour is going through the stages to want to be female. They dress in female clothes, have grown their hair long and recently mentioned that they have changed their name to a girl name.

Now they have a female short term partner who has moved in but she seems straight. I am really confused, as a straight female I can't see the attraction to a man who dresses as a women. I'm genuinely interested as to how this works

[Hownowbrownsheep]

I'm not sure anyone can 'seem' straight. Sexuality is not visible, it's complex and subjective. How it works is simply two people being attracted to one another. Hope that helps.

[EBearhug]

as a straight female I can't see the attraction to a man who dresses as a women.

I can't either, but I don't understand why some of my friends find their husbands attractive, either, and they may have thought the same about some of my past boyfriends - because we all go for different things. It absolutely wouldn't work for me (and I definitely find some women attractive, so it's not just about being straight,) but I assume she knows and is okay with it, so it's just oneof those things.

[Margo2023]

It does thank you. You are right, it is presumptuous of me to assume the partner is straight. I understand your point about natural attraction but Im trying to understand the attraction and sorry to ask about the sexual side of things! A female with a male who wants to be a female / still male. Do you think the female partner is attracted to a male regardless of their female dressing or gay as in sees the male as a female or neither, perhaps just enjoys both

[GoodAfternoonGoodEveningAndGoodnight]

I am really confused, as a straight female I can't see the attraction to a man who dresses as a women
Surely it's not too hard to understand that we're all different though?
We all have different types.
Curious to know how she "seems straight" too, is it the way she dresses, lack of dungarees and short hair or something? 🙄 😁

[Margo2023]

Indeed, we are all different. We have different tastes, likes, behaviours, vices, family, and so on. I think you need to be a little more open minded lack of dungarees and short hair doesn't automatically put anyone in a bracket but I see what you tried to do. Again the question remains open for discussion

[Grumpetsky]

So, your neighbour is a straight or bi male person. The partner is a straight or bi female person. The female person is attracted to the male person’s body and personality (presumably), and doesn’t really care about the male person’s gender identity/clothes etc…

[BlackeyedSusan]

It's easy. Your neighbours partner, likes your neighbour and isn't bothered about your neighbour's presentation etc. Everyone is different and likes different things.

[literalviolence]

I think anyone who is, or dates anyone who is transgender has very old fashioned views about gender stereotypes so I guess that's the case with both your neighbours. Beyond that, who knows? Does it matter? We'll probably never understand other people's romantic or sexual attractions.

[ErrolTheDragon]

Do you think the female partner is attracted to a male regardless of their female dressing or gay as in sees the male as a female or neither, perhaps just enjoys both

Any one of those and it's none of anyone else's business which.

[ZeldaFighter]

Cynically, I would say she's always fancied your neighbour as a male and your neighbour is now happy to have her as a validating partner

[Maaate]

Have you tried asking her instead of making assumptions? No one here can answer why she finds him attractive.

Seems like we are trying to be coached down a particular path TBH. Tread carefully wims

[IDontHateRainbows]

I don't understand (from my own perspective) how a lesbian woman can be attracted to a very butch male looking lesbian but I also understand that we are all different and that I'm not inside their head!

Consenting adults and all that

[FineWordsButterNoParsnips]

Why are you asking us? Knock on the neighbours door and ask to speak to his girlfriend.

Do you want us to all list stuff we don't fancy?

[anyolddinosaur]

Unless and until it affects my life I dont care what my neighbours do or who they fancy. Some people have very odd partners, I avoid the partners when I can.

[1plus1equalswindow]

I mean, she is straight, cos she's with a guy. Maybe she just wants a baby

[ErrolTheDragon]

@1plus1equalswindow

I mean, she is straight, cos she's with a guy. Maybe she just wants a baby

She might 'identify as queer' though.

Assuming they're both freely consenting adults it's no one else's business.

[GrumpyPanda]

A straight woman doesn't become a lesbian just because the man she's dating puts on lipstick and calls himself Anastasia or Vanessa. It's called heterosexual, not heterogenderal.

[GoodAfternoonGoodEveningAndGoodnight]

@1plus1equalswindow

I mean, she is straight, cos she's with a guy. Maybe she just wants a baby

That doesn't make sense though. I mean just because you're with a guy and you're female, doesn't mean you're automatically straight.
You could be bi.

[Margo2023]

Some interesting responses. To those replies about making assumptions and disapproving, that's not the case at all. Purely curious, nothing wrong with that

[MistyGreenAndBlue]

@Hownowbrownsheep

I'm not sure anyone can 'seem' straight. Sexuality is not visible, it's complex and subjective. How it works is simply two people being attracted to one another. Hope that helps.

I assume she "seems" straight because she is currently in a heterosexual relationship.
She might be bi but there is no way to tell without knowing her past relationship history. Her current partner is male.

[pickledandpuzzled]

Depends really. Nothing would turn me off quicker. But Adam Ant rocked make up and glam rock was definitely a thing.

I really don’t like the American footballer aesthetic, either.

I guess it takes all sorts?

There are a whole host of issues with gender identity, but women choosing to be in relationships with men who are transitioning isn’t one of them!

[Juliansfunkyshoes]

I mean, Cillian Murphy in Breakfast on Pluto would totally get it from me still.

different strokes for different folks.

i would never sleep with the typical bloke in a ill fitting polo shirt, beer belly and ugly jeans who watches football either. Probably called Gary. Not for me, but fine for lots of others.

[Cancelledcurio]

No one can really say why someone fancy or falls for another really. I am not really into men with big muscles n tats but ma pal loves guys like that. Different strokes etc . Sometimes it's nowt to do with looks it's the patter. Who knows? I would just think to myself that I wish them well and mind my own.

[Cancelledcurio]

@Juliansfunkyshoes I've not seen that film is it good?I like Cillian - great music taste!😂

[Margo2023]

@FineWordsButterNoParsnips why do any of us ask questions here is the simple answer. Technically it is her girlfriend not his, as he has transitioned to woman. And, yes if you want to make a list of things you don't like, you can. I think you have gotten confused thinking this situation is one that I don't fancy, and the question in no way suggests that.