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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Boycott JL and Waitrose? : James Esses' latest Substack on John Lewis LGBTQIA++ 'Identity' mag

289 replies

PersephoneSeethes · 15/02/2024 18:31

I saw it this afternoon on Twitter and read the article with utter horror.

I was hoping it would be uplifting stories about people being accepted and living full lives

John Lewis and Waitrose are seemingly actively promoting and policing
pronoun usage by colleagues, Stasi-style. This seems like it is a court case, a-la-Forstater, waiting to happen.

They have an article about 'raising non-binary and transgender children', not from an information position in case Partners come across such families in their stores, but with a heavy activist slant.

I think I have finally been pushed to the edge with this beloved company. I can no longer shop with them, and I shop at Waitrose every week for our main shop, have done for over a decade.

This is a real gut punch because I believe in what Waitrose does, or used to do: they pay their farmers better, their animal welfare is better, their shops don't have the bright lights and loud noises that set off my migraines and irritate family members autistic temperaments. But as someone who grew up a tomboy, and would have been thrown under the gender bus by Stonewall and all the other organisations if I had been a child today, I can't stand by and accept all this nonsense.

OP posts:
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Citrusandginger · 15/02/2024 22:08

I worked for them at the time so called inclusive changing rooms were introduced and wrote to the in house magazine to suggest that natal women had a right to privacy and dignity away from males. My letter wasn't published because it was "offensive".

I am not surprised that they have continued to decline. Such a shame that stonewall voices had more clout than their female customers and employees.

BreadInCaptivity · 15/02/2024 22:34

In a cost of living crisis you'd think a premium store would be doing all it can to encourage its core demographic to continue shop there.

Well they've saved me some money and ironically had the opposite impact in the GI/GC debate on a personal level.

I'll miss Waitrose but will do my shopping elsewhere and use the money saved to put towards more crowdfunding supporting GC legal actions.

Based on the cost difference between Waitrose and my local alternative Sainsbury's I'm guessing that annually that's going to be quite a nice pot of money.

Silver linings.....

AIstolemylunch · 15/02/2024 22:36

FFS back to Morisons I go ...

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 15/02/2024 22:50

Majestic are going to be gleeful, as they are the main competition for Waitrose wine customers.

i don’t think most of the male customers I see in the wine area of my local Waitrose will enjoy being addressed as Mx ( how is it pronounced, anyway).

NoBinturongsHereMate · 15/02/2024 22:51

From the magazine's questions page, on pronouns:

"if they choose not to share them, it’s easiest to pay attention to how they refer to themselves in conversation and follow suit”.

Er.

I therefore conclude that everyone's pronouns are 'I/me' (apart from those unfortunate few suffering a nasty case of the myselfs). Which is accurate, but it's going to get very confusing if I call them by the same.

OnceinaMinion · 15/02/2024 22:59

I’ll never understand companies going out of their way to alienate their key demographic…not like there is a recession!

Hepwo · 15/02/2024 23:04

It's in the Telegraph tonight

John Lewis launches staff magazine advising parents how to find breast binders for trans children
Partnership faces calls for a boycott after critics brand guidance ‘dangerous’ and ‘irresponsible’

Hayley Dixon,
SPECIAL CORRESPONDENT and
Isabel Oakeshott
15 February 2024 • 8:49pm
John Lewis is facing a backlash after launching the Identity magazine, produced by the LGTQIA+ network
John Lewis has launched a magazine for staff which advises parents on how to find breast binders for trans children.

The partnership, which also owns Waitrose, faced boycott calls on Wednesday after it issued a new publication to more than 70,000 staff members.

The Identity magazine, produced by the “LGTQIA+ network”, warned parents their support “can determine their child’s mental wellbeing” before quoting figures from controversial charity Stonewall, which suggested that the number of trans children attempting suicide is “double the national average”.

The magazine recommends support from the charity Mermaids, which is currently under investigation by the Charity Commission amid safeguarding concerns, and praises private clinic Gender GP for prescribing cross-sex hormones.

James Esses, co-ordinator of the Declaration for Biological Reality, who was sent the magazine by a concerned staff member, said “My main concern is that we have an employer pushing a divisive and dangerous ideology on to its staff members.

“It is particularly concerning that it suggests to potentially vulnerable parents in a difficult situation that the answer to their daughter’s distress with their bodies would be to get them a breast binder, that is the most alarming thing of all.”

Boycott
Calls for a boycott of the stores come as the company is already struggling financially, with multi-million pound losses prompting plans for a major turnaround.

Earlier this week, it emerged that staff, braced for sweeping job cuts, have been warned they face disciplinary action if they post abusive comments on its internal forum.

It is not the first time that John Lewis has sparked controversy over trans issues. In 2019 it caused a row over protection of single sex spaces after telling customers they can use “whichever fitting room makes them feel most comfortable”.

The Identity magazine starts with an introduction from the editor in which he suggests the debates over LGBTQ rights are “playing pointless politics with people’s lives”.

The magazine, seen by the Telegraph, features a piece on “Raising Trans and Non-Binary Children”, which focuses on a mother, Simone, who says she was not surprised her daughter wanted to transition to be a boy as “he hadn’t worn anything girly since he was eight”.

It says that children unable to express their gender identity experience a “dramatic decrease in their mental health” and says that parents should “take steps to learn, grow and support” their children.

The article also features the experiences of trans staff members. One says: “If you love your child enough. you’re not going to care about the judgment that you may face just because they’re happy.”

Parents and professionals have long warned about social transition and affirming a child’s trans identity, with the interim Cass report advising that changing a young person’s name and pronouns or the way that they dress, is not a “neutral act” that could have “significant effects” in terms of “psychological functioning”.

The magazine feature goes on to quote a parent, Anne, saying that social media influencers “helped” by sharing “tips on how to safely use clothing and equipment to achieve a person’s desired gender identity, for example, chest binders”.

Anne says that “a binder is always safer than the alternatives”.

Health risks
A study by the Johns Hopkins School of Public Health has previously found that 97 per cent of adults who use breast binders experienced health impacts from binding, including pain, rib fractures, changes to the spine, headaches, respiratory and skin infections and muscle wasting.

According to the study, the most comprehensive to date: “Commercial binders were the binding method most consistently associated with negative health outcomes, possibly because such binders have the potential to provide more compression than other binding methods.”

Simone describes taking her child to Gender GP, a private online clinic marred by controversy over prescribing drugs to children, in order to get puberty blockers.

The piece concludes that getting a child “on the waiting list for gender-affirming care and therapy if they need it can be life-saving.”

The magazine also includes advice on using preferred pronouns “because it’s right to do so” and a glossary of trans terms and dates for events.

The magazine says some of the events which will be recognised in 2024 include International Trans Day of Visibility, Asexuality Day, Agender Pride Day, Pansexual and Panromantic Visibility Day, Non-binary Awareness Week and International Non-binary People’s Day.

Staff ‘too afraid to speak out’
Mr Esses said: “I have been contacted by employees who are worried about this but are now too afraid to speak out.

“This magazine is a signal that anybody who believes in biological reality, who believes that men should not be entering women’s spaces and that children should not be medicalised will be viewed with disdain by John Lewis.”

Stephanie Davies-Arai, founder of Transgender Trend which advocates for evidence-based healthcare, said: “It is totally wrong, irresponsible and indefensible that John Lewis would put this advice out there to employees, a lot of whom are parents.

“They do not have any expertise on the subject – they are not clinicians, therapists or medical professionals and it is not their place to advise parents, particularly when the advice they are giving is so dangerous. The medical scandal around the gender transition of children is so well documented that they cannot claim ignorance.”

A John Lewis Partnership spokesman said: “We want the Partnership to be a place where people can work or shop with confidence, irrespective of their backgrounds.

“Multiple studies – including those from the Government – show that trans people are at higher risk of hate crimes and discrimination, and this magazine was created by our LGBTQIA+ network to champion understanding and support. It has been positively received by the huge majority of our Partners.

“We’ve a number of networks across our business, which encourage open conversations. Partners can share their own questions and experiences – even on topics where people have different views.

Melroses · 15/02/2024 23:18

If you frighten your target audience, they stop using the frontal cortex and use the back part of their brain, because they are in survival mode.

They follow their instincts and stop using the thinking part of their brain. They follow the crowd.

I have just been down a psychology rabbit hole about 'nudging'.

It is amazing how much this has been used in trans issues such as the suicide statistics above, and how much it works, not just on the poor families, but also on organisations.

John Lewis are trusted, and many of their customers and staff are secure people who trust authority and want to do the right thing. So they are the ideal vehicle for this sort of manipulation of people.

I will be very disappointed if they go broke, but I'm shopping between Sainsbury's and Aldi these days. Waitrose have had so many empty shelves and stock randomly missing since lockdown and since they are no longer selling some of my favourite items, it is hard to justify paying more to shop there a lot of the time.

MrsGalloway · 15/02/2024 23:37

Well Waitrose have just treated my teenage DS who works for them like absolutely shit. In store managers do not have any basic understanding of policy or employment law and don’t seem to think “Partners” deserve to be treated with any basic level of decency. I have been really surprised at how awful they are to their employees and the level of disorganisation and poor communication for such a big company. The reality is very much at odds with the guff on their website.

This magazine stuff is just insulting because I think the vast majority of their Partners really only care about keeping their jobs and being treated properly not this out of date and divisive (and dangerous) virtue signalling.

I’ve also had my last 2 John Lewis click and collect orders “lost or damaged in transit” and when that happens you have to spend quite a long time on the phone to a call centre in order to get your money back.
They are a company in absolute crisis as far as I can see so this doesn’t surprise me. I certainly won’t be darkening their doors again. I am sad though, they used to be great.

Chersfrozenface · 16/02/2024 07:33

It's in the Telegraph, is it?

What, I wonder, is the Venn diagram for Telegraph readers and John Lewis / Waitrose customers.

coldpizzalover · 16/02/2024 08:11

Does anyone know the nearest equivalent to Waitrose own brand Colombian coffee? I love that stuff. I shop there every week. My family has been incredibly damaged by gender identity ideas. My children will probably never recover. I am a lesbian and we raised our kids in the lesbian and gay community. But these ideas are destroying their safety. John Lewis also is an institution and part of my history. I made all my big home purchases there, plus computers etc. I don’t want to stop being a customer but I’ve already done most of my shopping this week elsewhere. I’m so angry

domineastronomy · 16/02/2024 08:37

Well a diversion to Sainsbury's this morning for my big weekly shop.

UltraLiteLife · 16/02/2024 08:43

John Lewis have always been fabulous for the more bewildered members of my family using and buying IT.

And like PPs, they've been the source of all the major appliances in my home.

They'll not see another penny from me nor from the family members for whom I handle such purchases.

PronounssheRa · 16/02/2024 08:48

I stopped buying clothes from JL when they decided to have mixed sex changing rooms, that was a few years ago.

But still used them for soft furnishings, cosmetics etc. I'm pretty gutted to lose them.

domineastronomy · 16/02/2024 08:51

It'll be interesting to see if this thread appears in 'active'.
There are plenty of posts there that are pretty inactive.
Does anyone know the criteria for inclusion?

OnceinaMinion · 16/02/2024 09:15

I need material for new curtains and it’s so hard to find places to look near me, guess it’s going to be even harder.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 16/02/2024 09:29

I have just been down a psychology rabbit hole about 'nudging'.

It's fascinating, and a lot of it quite chilling, isn't it?

LittleMissViper · 16/02/2024 09:38

Right, that's my John Lewis membership cancelled and an email sent to request the removal of my entire account - telling them exactly why.

I'm only one person, but if I'm one of many then perhaps the message will get through.

Worldgonecrazy · 16/02/2024 09:38

That was absolutely horrible to read. What the fuck is happening at John Lewis??? I want to support their previous business model of employee ownership, quality products at a fair price, and good customer service. I WILL not support an organisation that is actively promoting harms to vulnerable children. John Lewis is sick. I hope it gets better soon.

RayonSunrise · 16/02/2024 09:39

lonelywater · 15/02/2024 19:32

why do these outfits act like it's still 2015? You have to be deliberately sticking your fingers in your ears whilst going "La La La" to not realise the shit is hitting the fan on an almost daily basis right now. weird.

Yes, the original policy can be put down to personally invested staff taking initiative and well-meaning leadership just blindly accepting it (especially when backed with the reassuring Stonewall stamp of approval). But after all the employment tribunals and headlines, where are the real HR staff?

MrsGalloway · 16/02/2024 10:29

thread not appearing in active and I posted last night and I’ve not had any notifications?

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 16/02/2024 10:44

coldpizzalover · 16/02/2024 08:11

Does anyone know the nearest equivalent to Waitrose own brand Colombian coffee? I love that stuff. I shop there every week. My family has been incredibly damaged by gender identity ideas. My children will probably never recover. I am a lesbian and we raised our kids in the lesbian and gay community. But these ideas are destroying their safety. John Lewis also is an institution and part of my history. I made all my big home purchases there, plus computers etc. I don’t want to stop being a customer but I’ve already done most of my shopping this week elsewhere. I’m so angry

Tesco finest is a decent range, we buy the Peruvian which is a bit stronger than Colombian, but I think they do a Colombian. Their coffee is the nearest we have found to the one we used to bring back from France .

Tabasco007 · 16/02/2024 10:55

Such a shame, I love popping to John Lewis for clothes shopping, use Waitrose sometime and I was planning on buying all my kitchen appliances of JL this is year. Be a shame to see it struggling, I will write and let them know why I will no longer be shopping there.

PomegranateOfPersephone · 16/02/2024 10:59

Are there actually any alternatives to Waitrose which are sex realist/neutral?

As far as I can tell every retailer, business and bank going has fully signed up to gender identity as the new order for society. Makes one wonder about the link between gender identity and conspicuous consumption or capitalism more widely. 🤔

I had hoped that as a cooperative, the partners would get to make decisions on these sorts of things rather than have them imposed from the top.

DrBlackbird · 16/02/2024 11:20

JulesJules · 15/02/2024 18:45

It is absolutely horrific, isn't it. I don't understand how organisations can become so completely captured - is there really NO-ONE at a high level or in their legal dept saying "Hang on a minute.... is this really what we're saying?"

The answer to that is no. Every ’progressive’ or liberally minded organisation has been an effective Trojan horse for TRAs. Well meaning and good intentioned organisations and well meaning and good intentioned people, including intelligent feminists, wanting to accept everyone under the EDI banner. Unfortunately without pausing to wonder if this is really what they want to say. It’s the EDI head who formulates the policy.

This has been a golden opportunity for those wanting to advance a very specific and particular agenda. Unthinkingly reproduced by most everyone else in the organisation. I recently attended a LGBTQ+ Workshop at my institution and out of 15 ppt slides, 14 were on the T. Not even the Q or the +….