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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Just a rant

36 replies

DinoDays · 15/12/2023 15:25

Not expecting much from this thread, just need a fucking good rant!!!!

I'm on a FB of a popular 70's girl magazine. It's trivial shit but it's lovely to remember some of our teenage worries and loves.

I never post but love looking at some of the memories.

Anyway ... "Autumn" posted to introduce themselves.

Not a "thing" in this group unless it's a picture of you in a hideous 70's bridesmaid dress.

Anyway over 400 stunning and brave comments from the "Be Kind" Brigade.

Apparently this person used to read their relative's magazine when they were younger (yeah sure you did)!!

Galvanised from all the supportive comments from their first post, they've now posted again saying how overwhelmed they are by the kindness and feel like a "Sister that has come home"!

I feel like shouting to the handmaidens "Don't you know the monster you've now unleashed"

The poster will now feel validated and I imagine will now have no problem about wandering into women's toilets and changing areas. You know? Because literally 100's of women have told them how "stunning and brave" they are.

Maybe they can take up fishing now or croquet and steal trophies off women!

I wish I could talk to these women and explain it's not "being kind" doing this especially to their daughters. Then I start thinking is it me? Am I on the wrong side of history!???

Sorry for rant. Feel better now!

OP posts:
HagoftheNorth · 15/12/2023 16:27

Don’t you just love the difference between how TW are treated in this sort of scenario compared to the more normal kind of woman? It’s almost as if people can tell which is a TW and which just an ordinary W 🙄

ManaManaDoDoDoDoDo · 15/12/2023 16:28

HagoftheNorth · 15/12/2023 16:27

Don’t you just love the difference between how TW are treated in this sort of scenario compared to the more normal kind of woman? It’s almost as if people can tell which is a TW and which just an ordinary W 🙄

But you literally can't tell - bigot!

HagoftheNorth · 15/12/2023 16:32

Manamana, of course I realise it’s just an amazing coincidence 😉

WindyHarbour · 15/12/2023 16:44

Agreed. Too much compassion is a vice.

Froodwithatowel · 15/12/2023 16:47

I'm not sure it is genuine compassion. This would not be extended in the same way to any woman. Women don't patronise other women: where's the reward.

Its a mix of sentimental enjoying of how nice self is, virtue signalling and dick pandering, and it's never pretty to see.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 15/12/2023 18:26

There is always so much over the top fawning that I cringe myself inside out. As Frood said, it isn't genuine, and women mostly don't act this way with other women.

theilltemperedclavecinist · 15/12/2023 18:54

I think I would have been okay with this thirty years ago when TW were rare and timid/eccentric, but things have changed and now I am enraged by the sheer effrontery.

I'm also enraged beyond belief every time a TW claims to be a feminist.

When The Female Eunuch was published that was the first I had heard of TWs and I couldn't understand why GG was so angry and contemptuous about them. Now we know.

DinoDays · 15/12/2023 19:04

I get the "Be Kind" I really do.

That was me a good few years ago. I remember being on a dating site and a trans woman was saying please don't message and be awful to "her" as she'd received so many mean messages.

I messaged and said sorry that she was being abused and she was "stunning and brave". I genuinely felt sorry for them. Looking back, no way had they received mean messages. It was a ploy to reel in naive women like me!

On Tinder now there is LOADS of them! I don't swipe right!

But the women validating them don't realise the long term harm they're doing not just to the transwoman who now think they pass (they SO don't) but to society.

OP posts:
HagoftheNorth · 15/12/2023 19:21

I wonder if there will ever come a point when women publicly call out other women behaving like that? After all, they have been asked to treat TW as if they are women - which they are manifestly failing to do

ArthurbellaScott · 16/12/2023 08:33

It's curious, isn't it? Transfawning is a definite thing.

In person, it can easily and understandably be explained as defensive behaviour, but often women go out of their way to praise and flatter TW when there is no immediate reason to do so.

I guess Frood has it above. It does look like performative self abasement quite often.

ArthurbellaScott · 16/12/2023 08:34

I wonder if its a compensatory act to make up for the first, instinctive, subconscious response?

ArthurbellaScott · 16/12/2023 08:39

Because its almost always cringingly fake. It's an obvious performance which is presumably necessary to cover up a different response. Neutrality doesn't seem to be acceptable - why is that?

terffert · 16/12/2023 08:52

DinoDays Looking back, no way had they received mean messages. It was a ploy to reel in naive women like me! - well, I wonder, actually? There are a lot of people out there, including I'm afraid a lot of people who like to be nasty when they think they can get away with it, and not all of those are TRAs. I wonder whether, in fact, trans people do routinely receive a lot of abuse, and assume it's from GC people, when actually it's from people we wouldn't think of as either GC or TRAs? That would explain a lot, and it's usually better not to assume people are lying about their experience unless we have proof.

HoneyButterPopcorn · 16/12/2023 08:52

I’ve seen similar. A group for women who grew up in the 70s. Usually funny fashions, haircuts and makeup/perfume, 70s trends, cringe crushes, ‘in’ jokes, sex/period Ed at schools and school boyfriends. It had ‘women’ in the title.

of course a new member arrives and announces their specialness. And goes on and on about it.

Froodwithatowel · 16/12/2023 08:53

The performative aspect I do think is the heart of it. It's a 'look, I'm SO LOVELY, see how I am embracing so open mindedly and not acting at all in the way I would do if I didn't know better' demonstration. Partly to self, and partly to others for signalling of being lovely/open minded/superior for status and recognition. And yes, I agree its way over the top because it is something they do, not something genuinely thought or felt: that is what they are actively trying to hide with the fawning.

I've started to catch myself carefully doing and saying the Right Things at times in conversations in this way it's so programmed in.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 16/12/2023 08:57

And why the OTT femme names like Autumn? These people are rarely just called Alison or Kelly for example. Even their name is all IM SO SPECIAL Confused

HagoftheNorth · 16/12/2023 09:48

Frood’s spot on; virtue signalling + dick pandering 😆

I’ll be using that (even if not out loud!)

DinoDays · 16/12/2023 09:50

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 16/12/2023 08:57

And why the OTT femme names like Autumn? These people are rarely just called Alison or Kelly for example. Even their name is all IM SO SPECIAL Confused

Or even worse when they take their dead girlfriends name or ex-wife's name surname!

Such a perverted creepiness to doing that, I would much prefer they call themselves Fluffty McPinkfluff!

OP posts:
AHFaemale · 16/12/2023 09:58

Some women are really pathetic. It's embarrassing. I used to be on a facebook group for women's clothing & it was exactly the same. I had to leave. My blood pressure couldn't handle it.

DeDoDaDa · 16/12/2023 10:00

Can you imagine if a transman posted on a fb group for men, banging on about their 'journey' and the euphoria of the 'brotherhood'?

"Be Kind" indoctrination of females and yes virtue signalling and dick pandering will be the downfall of young women. Sadly I'm starting to think they deserve everything their fervour for this men's rights movement will bring.

HoneyButterPopcorn · 16/12/2023 10:22

I might do that. There’s a mens FB group I keep seeing. I’m going to channel my inner Chad and have some fun.

LentilFaculties · 16/12/2023 10:27

Froodwithatowel · 15/12/2023 16:47

I'm not sure it is genuine compassion. This would not be extended in the same way to any woman. Women don't patronise other women: where's the reward.

Its a mix of sentimental enjoying of how nice self is, virtue signalling and dick pandering, and it's never pretty to see.

This.

And also I can't stand the phrase "wrong side of history"! What does it even mean for women when we're so often excluded from history in the first place and our patriarchal naming system makes us harder to trace? What history is told in countries with even more patriarchal and oppressive power structures? Does it rest on an assumption that societies always move forwards in a progressive fashion?

Honestly though, seeking validation is one of the less awful behaviours I've witnessed lately from males who think it appropriate to take up a lot of space in predominantly female spaces. How about "innocently" dropping references to their genitals in any conversation? Or taking over the aims and objectives of the entire group and using it to further trans ideology whilst appropriating feminism; bullying and silencing any dissent? When women seem unable to read these behaviours as abusive I am very worried indeed.

Sidaway · 16/12/2023 10:40

Something I've often thought - a lot of these women see men wanting to be women as a form of flattery.

I think it might explain a lot of this fawning, handmaidenly behaviour. "These men admire us so much they want to be us". And saying "no" to it is ungrateful.

PonyPatter44 · 16/12/2023 10:46

ArthurbellaScott · 16/12/2023 08:34

I wonder if its a compensatory act to make up for the first, instinctive, subconscious response?

I actually think this is it. "Be Kind" is the SECOND response.

TheDogthatDug · 16/12/2023 11:03

Same happened with a women's motorbike group that I was a member of. I don't bother with it anymore.