Feminist self care. A thread to comfort and console.

[ArthurbellaScott]

A Poem for Someone Who is Juggling Her Life

This is a poem for someone
who is juggling her life.
Be still sometimes.
Be still sometimes.

It needs repeating
over and over
to catch her attention
over and over,
as someone who is juggling her life
finds it difficult to hear.

Be still sometimes.
Be still sometimes.
Let it all fall sometimes.

Rose Cook, from Notes From a Bright Field (Cultured Llama, 2013)

It's been a while since we did one of these threads. Seems a good time, in the dark days of a difficult year.

Good, strong women get burn out. It's okay. It's solvable. Just takes a bit of time.

Feel free to add ideas for self care, soothing music, poems, or cake recipes.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/3284366-Taking-the-feminist-cake

Previous thread.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4223539-Self-care-for-feminists

Treat yourself with the same kindness and gentleness as you treat others
Have respect for yourself
You are important

Having a rest is a perfectly legitimate activity

I haven't read this, but it looks interesting.

https://canongate.co.uk/books/2475-the-art-of-rest-how-to-find-respite-in-the-modern-age/

Fuckwits abound. FWR is catnip to a certain type of anti women poster.
None of us have to engage. Kudos to the women who do take them on and expose their misogyny & nonsense. But it's fine to ignore & step away to do something that's self nurturing.

Oh this thread is much needed just now, thank you.

Lovely idea for a thread. The OP in the 'Taking the (feminist) cake' thread you linked has it right about female activities being belittled. One of the most heartening, restorative and restful things I do is go to a craft guild meeting once a month. I ditch my family and the housework and spend most of the day there with an entirely female group, of all ages (though mostly older) and walks of life. We chat and share skills as we get on with our various creations.

What a thoughtful, lovely idea of a thread!

Here is one of my favourite, comforting poems as a contribution:

Wild Geese (Mary Oliver)

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Oh, what a lovely thread. Thank you.

I don't have a poem or anything to contribute, but I did read advice once on self-care that included:

Bedtime - go to the bedroom, half an hour before bedtime, draw the curtains, turn on the bedside light, tidy/turn down bed ready, then go back and do your last minute jobs, and when you go to bed it will all be ready and welcoming for you.

I like the thought more than the actual doing but it is nice occasionally.

That's such a lovely poem @DameMaud.

This week I bought the Volume Two cover of darkness.

It’s official I’m a published author (yes????)

That was a little act of care to myself, buying this book.

Do a little act of care to yourself this week, however small!!!

Sorry I meant ‘Under the duvet of darkness’*

*Been a long day

Thanks for this thread OP🙏🏻

Thank you, what beautiful poems.
it's ok to take care of yourself and encourage yourself. You’ll get more done if you are happy and encourage yourself. Easy to say, very worth it to do.

Love Mary Oliver.

And on the note of bedtime: go early and read a book in bed! (No devices in the bedroom).

When I am angry I shout.
When I feel that I can make a difference I mobilise.
The other 99% of the time I just take the piss to relieve the stress.

Love Mary Oliver

Me too. I only discovered her poems very recently - no idea how I'd missed oit on such a pleasure!

Mary Oliver has a whole book about the love of dogs, called 'Dog Songs'.
Appreciation of the simple, innocent, and every day pleasures is such an antidote to the mad, dark times we are in right now.
I think we need to make ourselves look away at that sometimes ( not looking too much 'into the abyss') - difficult as it's so compelling! And keep reminding ourselves of the light that is still there.
It's a balance I think, between facing the dark realities, with eyes wide open, whilst still holding onto the best in humanity and ourselves.

I really appreciate this thread!

'Dog Songs'

Now that sounds wonderful, I must look it up.

With the making the bed ready thing, I do that and it makes a huge difference to bedtime. Our bedroom is very basic, just the necessary furniture and some bookcases. It's a good place to sleep.

The thread I didn't know I needed! Thank you for the lovely poems (they made me cry!)

Ive just found out I'm getting a bonus at work (small charity, so very unexpected) and I'm going to treat myself to a Mary Oliver book of poetry. 😊
My contribution is Kate Baer. I love her work.

And after rereading some Kate Baer, I've decided I will spend Saturday baking. I love to bake, but fear what eating the lovely results will do to my body. So, there is a bake sale I can share my goodies with on Sunday. I will get to enjoy my baking, savour some of the cakes and offer the remainder. I'm already feeling better about this week for making the decision.

Planning something lovely for the weekend, or your next day off is a great idea.

I'm not religious, but I love this prayer and find it a great comfort at the times when one needs a prayer:

Lord,
it is night.

The night is for stillness.
Let us be still in the presence of God.

It is night after a long day.
What has been done has been done;
what has not been done has not been done;
let it be.

The night is dark.
Let our fears of the darkness of the world and of our own lives
rest in you.

The night is quiet.
Let the quietness of your peace enfold us,
all dear to us,
and all who have no peace.

The night heralds the dawn.
Let us look expectantly to a new day,
new joys,
new possibilities.

In your name we pray.
Amen.

https://liturgy.co.nz/lord-it-is-night

And in that vein, and with Dame Julian of Norwich in mind ...