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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Taking the (feminist) cake

4 replies

DancelikeEmmaGoldman · 21/06/2018 04:44

I love, just love, the way in which FWR responds to goady threads by gentle conversations about baking and bees and cups of tea.

On a recent, thread, I laughed when someone asked if the clearly-spoiling-for-a-fight OP wanted a recipe for lemon drizzle cake, (sadly, no).

And it go me thinking about the role of baking and feminism, so I did a little Googling and I'm not the first to have thoughts on this topic,

Nigella Lawson said that baking is a feminist act, "she described her classic book on baking, How to Be a Domestic Goddess, as an “important feminist tract in its own right, and I’m not being entirely ironic”. Baking, she continued, is “the less applauded of the cooking arts, whereas restaurants are a male province to be celebrated. There’s something intrinsically misogynistic about decrying a tradition because it has always been female.”
www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/columnists/jemima-lewis/8556185/Nigella-Lawson-reveals-the-feminist-meaning-of-cake.html

And it's true, that things pertaining to the home, to comfort, domesticity and to the care of children and the elderly are seen as traditionally female responsibilities, and therefore of little worth.

Jane Austen was criticised for writing about domestic events; courtship, marriages and family relationships, because those things were seen as less important than "great events". The reality is though, that for most of us, the domestic sphere is the often the largest portion of our lives, and the success of that sphere has an incredibly significant impact on society.

Which is not to say, that I don't believe it's women's "natural" role to care about domesticity, although that's mostly the current reality; women still do the bulk of the housework, the care of children and the elderly.

I do think that the tradition of domestic baking has often been a quietly subversive activity. Getting together to cook, to share recipes, to make food, create meals, has traditionally been a way for women to be with each other. It's an acceptable form of women's collaboration, which doesn't outwardly threaten the patriarchy.

Women know that women together are funny, and rude and fierce: men suspect this, so women's gatherings (such as right here), attract male aggression. Sharing recipes is a sly nod to the ways in which women, and women's work has been over-looked, which women have used to their own advantage, sharing not just recipes, but support and advice and knowledge.

As a girl, working in the kitchen with my grandmother and mother and sister, was often a way to talk about our concerns without being belittled by men. I still love to bake, because it speaks to me of time spent with other women, enjoying food and conversation.

It's not just food: the pejorative phrase "sewing circle", obscures the reality that the while women getting together to sew, was acceptably domestic, the conversation didn't have to be.

Within that is a whole conversation about women's culture and language which is obscured by male-dominated society, but easily deciphered by women.

I hope that in future women will not have to keep their conversations on the down-low, that women's gatherings are not seen as a threat to, but an integral component of civil society (because I think women's biology will always mean that women will want and need to turn to other women at points in their lives).

In the meantime though, I so much enjoy seeing the inheritance of a millennium of quiet sisterhood using traditional women's work to take the piss out of rude men.

OP posts:
mancheeze · 21/06/2018 04:46

I'm an Italian Jew. I was taught from day one the appreciation of nourishing the body with good food. It's one of the only lessons that has lasted me for my whole life.

There's a bond people make and maintain over food that's been prepared well.

DancelikeEmmaGoldman · 21/06/2018 04:53

Indeed mancheeze, preparing and sharing food is culturally significant across all cultures. Mind you, I think as an Italian and a Jew, you might have created the super-bomb of food appreciation! I bet dinner at your house is an amazing experience.

Years ago I worked for a very old-school Lebanese family. I had a disagreement with the patriarch of the family and we both retired to our respective corners to sulk. After a while he offered me a drink to apologise and I, still on my high horse refused. He kept offering until I accepted, because we both knew that offering and accepting food is conciliatory.

I should amend my post. I meant to say, ""I don't believe it's women's "natural" role to care about domesticity". I got my double negatives tangled up.

OP posts:
thebewilderness · 21/06/2018 05:02

I had to laugh when the critics called the TV show Seinfeld a show about nothing.
It reminded me of the criticism of Austen for writing about human relationships in all their varied and fascinating permutations.
Two hundred years later we still read Austen's brilliant prose.
I do not expect Seinfeld to hold up as well but it was a TV show about human relationships and was sometimes witty.

blackdoggotmytongueagain · 21/06/2018 05:10

One of my old tutors is Nicola Humble - I love her for her passion about domestic goddessery, tensions and the feminine. I desperately want her to know that mn is deploying recipes in feminist solidarity Grin

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