Dreaded LGBTQIA+ training approaching. What do I need to know?

[RandySavage]

Hello

Next week I have compulsory alphabet training. I have been unable to find out much about it, such as the name of the provider or an outline of the session. It will last for a half day.
The company I work for is pretty cool, and there have been few suggestions of TRAism in the past. Nobody has added pronouns to their work email, no one has asked for mine.

However, I’m dreading this session. I fear they will ask for my pronouns and I’m not sure how I’ll respond.
Any advice? What do I need to know before I go in? Should I just sit tight and say nothing (I like my job, and I do genuine good)? Am I worrying over nothing?

Thanks for any helpful suggestions.

OP, if you wish to, please let us know how it goes.

We had some awful training run by a company of 3 post grad girls who are not even vaguely qualified. I questioned everything that was wrong, to the point others moaned about me so the dh safeguarding lead sat in the next session. Oh big surprise, she questioned the same things I did. The head listened to my points, acknowledged I am right but we have to go slow and its difficult with staff who are fully on board with transing kids.
Since then we've all been very clearly told not to change names unless parents give permission to change to known as on the register and the kids have all started using their legal names on coursework and exams.
Be nice, have facts, always go with safeguarding and religious freedom first then woriads.

@Vivolvolo I sent him an email just saying something like, "btw, the list of PCs on the slide is saying gender instead of sex. The Equality Act says sex, and I think its important that we use correct legal wording. Cheers!"

He hasn't replied to me yet, so it will be interesting to see what happens. My department has moved on from a lot of the gender woo-woo nonsense now, and I know I'm correct, so I'm not worried about backlash.

Pshe are on board but the edi lead needs a lot more work. Schools are terrified of parents especially rich middle class parents who may be lawyers, professors etc. The kids affected are either from these families or families on the other extreme. So it's very hard. And if parents are gi then we can't really implement the cass review at all, even if they are not we can't stop friendship groups socially transitioning them.
As anyone who knows me on here knows I hate gender stereotypes and sexism and have always challenged these so tbh my pshe groups all seem to see through this ideology quickly other than those already identified, which makes sense, also have a higher desisting rate when I teach a group compared to an ally teacher, by the time they leave 3 years later. Which is probably not me but I like to believe I plant gentle and loving seeds about accepting your body and personality and not being wrong, you are not wrong stereotypes are wrong.

If it's going round the table/room being asked for "Your name and pronouns" just give your name. Glide over pronouns, just don't give them.

And then if it's insisted upon you could murmur about not agreeing with compelled speech.

If anybody asks me what my pronouns are, I will ask them which pronouns they are referring to. First person, second, third? Singular or plural? And I might remind the questioner that it has often been considered impolite to refer to a person by the third person pronoun. " Who's 'she'? The cat's mother?" One can almost always get around it by using the person's name or rearranging the sentence. I do not own any pronouns.

Instead of pronouns you could say your chosen noun is 'woman' and politely ask not to be referred to as 'cis'.

Tbh the training industry is a bit of a Wild West - no-one is "checking" what anyone is told. I've had some bizarre training on equality that used very odd terms for non-white people. If it's open to discussion and not set out in black and white that's better.

I simply say 'I don't have any preferred pronouns, feel free to use whatever you like'
It feels like a conflict averse side step which works for me.

Dont want to derail OPs request for help re looming alphabet soup training, but happened to see this article.

Not sure if this is BECTU's training or just a top down ruling. https://bectu.org.uk/news/why-we-should-start-using-pronouns

I’d have a terrible household emergency on that day. I couldn’t bear to sit through it and wouldn’t see the relevance to what I am paid to do.

Well... that article does make it very clear that 'normalising gender discussions' is the aim. Though I'm not sure how honest that is, if the discussion doesn't go exactly as they want.

I wish I had the courage to say 'I'm not interested in discussing people's hobbies at work'

I’d run a mile from someone wearing that badge. Or wear a badge myself that said, No thanks. Can’t imagine the level of self importance and absorption that’s involved in thinking this badge is necessary.

Thank Christ National Pronouns Day passed me by.

Does the A stand for asexual? Perhaps you could get them to concentrate on that aspect of the soup, at least it won’t be sexually arousing to anyone (including the ‘trainer’).

That makes it sound as if you've bought into the whole gender ideology rubbish.

Thats part of the problem.

Don't murmur. It needs to be said out loud and clearly by as many as possible.

yes!

see this as an opportunity to peak your colleagues- you only need to ask very reasonable questions to do it

My pronouns have always been sex-based, like my oppression has.

eg

so, you're saying that a transwoman ...is actually a woman?...like I am?

er, can you explain then, what does 'feeling like a woman mean'? is it to do with hobbies or something ?
(because my sister plays rugby and does all her own car maintenance....)

is it do with how you dress?
(because there's plenty of us here who like to dress comfortably and aren't bothered about make up)

no? not those?...what then?

The trans awareness training we had from Katie Neeves peaked loads of my colleagues. It just needs one or two people to point out the training goes against equality law / is sexual harassment / creates an unsafe environment and senior management panic.

We even got an apology from the CEO that he'd allowed it to happen.

There is hope OP.

In what way? I don't have an objection to giving pronouns, where relevant, as long as I know what it is I'm communicating - that's where the confusion is. Am I saying I have a certain type of personality, or a certain type of genitalia? Either is a bizarre thing to ask, tbh, hence wanting to know in order to assess when it's relevant.

Well I think we are on different pages. I do object to being asked for my pronouns. It's all tied in with gender ideology which is inherently harmful and tramples all over women's rights. By forcing the matter in a group context, it's using peer pressure in order to get people to comply with an ideology they possibly don't subscribe to. It's also difficult to challenge it; as an earlier PP said, by simply not stating her pronouns when asked, she was then falsely accused of misgendering the trainer! People can lose jobs over this shit. It's so weird where we've got to and how quickly we've got there. Only 10 - 15 years ago, I would have been very comfortable discussing quite controversial opinions in the workplace. Nowadays saying you don't subscribe to gender ideology, and don't want to dictate the speech of others, or that you believe (know!) that there are two sexes, or even saying something like I think it's important we consider the rights/needs of women, could get you labelled a transphobe. It's unbelievable really. My DH keeps saying that everything goes in cycles and it will all right itself. I hope he's right. I can see the tables turning, but I do wonder/worry what is going to happen after the next election....

I applaud those who would take a stand, and I really like the faux naive questions approach. Unfortunately I manage a young team of enthusiastic and genuinely naive enablers, so I'm going to have to take some unexpected sick leave if we're ever compelled to do something like this at work.

Playing the daft laddie is a good tactic in these situations. Basically act like a toddler, “but why…”