Dreaded LGBTQIA+ training approaching. What do I need to know?

[RandySavage]

Hello

Next week I have compulsory alphabet training. I have been unable to find out much about it, such as the name of the provider or an outline of the session. It will last for a half day.
The company I work for is pretty cool, and there have been few suggestions of TRAism in the past. Nobody has added pronouns to their work email, no one has asked for mine.

However, I’m dreading this session. I fear they will ask for my pronouns and I’m not sure how I’ll respond.
Any advice? What do I need to know before I go in? Should I just sit tight and say nothing (I like my job, and I do genuine good)? Am I worrying over nothing?

Thanks for any helpful suggestions.

Declaring pronouns are a breach of the Yogyakarta principles as you may force someone to declare their gender identity before they are ready to.

Also I do not have a gender, it is damaging to society, particularly for women.

Read your article, very well done. Thank you!

Good for you for pursuing this!

I'm curious about how the training constituted sexual harrassment?

And I assume you mean an unsafe environment for GC staff?

I’ve noticed them putting “sex and sexual orientation” together and then only talking about sexual harassment(as if sex means having sex).

Also talking only about inclusion. Normally we have to make reasonable adjustments- we can’t get rid of all stairs so a wheelchair user feels more included.

If you don’t want to challenge directly you can always make notes and raise them after.

Sisterpita · 07/11/2023 23:10

That seems to be a good summation, especially mentioning May Forstater's and possibly K Stock's wins, which have settled case law.

The faux naive / questioning toddler approach works really well especially with people who are adopting a similarly faux naive stance in maintaining that people can change sex when they know full well that they can’t.

@Zita60

The training constituted sexual harrassment as the trainer kept speaking about feeling aroused and humiliated while wearing underwear stolen from his wife / sister.

A group of us highlighted all the references to him wearing women's knickers when they had not consented (many) as well as all the inappropriate sexual references (many) and sent to the CEO.

The trainer also smeared LGB Alliance as a far right hate group while simultaneously claiming to be a lesbian.

This was mandatory staff training FFS.

Dodgy training like this creates an unsafe environment for GC staff, for sexual violence survivors, trans widows, lesbians and for women.

I should say that Katie Neeves reported me to the police for hate crime then tried to get the CEO to sack me but unfortunately for Neeves his behaviour did constitute sexual harassment so he didn't have a leg to stand on.

Crumbs, that's bad. And how typical of a TRA like that to try and get you sacked.

@IamSarah I looked this person up online. He’s certainly trying to build up quite a niche career getting people to pay for him to tell them all about himself.

He sure is.

Women's voices did a montage of his AGP displays.

x.com/womenreadwomen/status/1497182361930264581?s=46&t=NGJBRqkXgp1UazF5I8yjXA

@IamSarah its the almost continuous smirk occasionally moving into almost euphoric laughing that is so telling.

Re Pronouns - I much prefer to be referred to by my name which is…… rather than in third person.

re cis - in the same manner I will respect your preference for your pronouns I ask you to respect my preference to not be referred to as ‘cis’.

Gender - I prefer to keep this as a private matter, especially as it is not relevant to my job role

Thank you everyone, lots of things to consider here.

I've just heard that the training has been put off until the 20th - maybe somebody misgendered the trainer and they need some recovery time :)

... a little more time for me to develop covid symptoms if I feel the need.

Aw, I really want you to go, @RandySavage ! Do the faux naif thing, record it all.

yes, it would be a public service

maybe somebody misgendered the trainer and they need some recovery time :)

brilliant, but naughty!

Well today was the day, and it was nowhere near as bad as I’d feared.

I said I was having trouble finding anything about the training or the provider - it was a local LGBTQIA+ group (their choice of letters, not mine). I work in a facility for adults with learning disabilities and/or autism, and the training was aimed at them, not me.

It was full of the usual junk: pronouns, flag colours, how to be an ally, etc, but no gender unicorns or genderbread people, so it could have been worse.

There were two moments that annoyed me:
first he/they described bisexual people as being ‘attracted to two genders’. I wanted to shout out “it’s right there in the word - biSEXual!”
The second was when he/they said that ‘deadnaming’ caused great harm. Again, I wanted to shout “The people you’re talking to have ACTUAL fucking problems: physical and mental disabilities, shortened lifespans, limited opportunities and choices, communication issues, incontinence, uncertain futures … but of course that pales when compared to deadnaming, eh?”

Most of it was so boring that few were paying much attention - a few actually fell asleep - and he/they had no concept of his audience. He/they was using terms like ‘heteronormative’ with people who have trouble remembering how old they are. In a couple of days I’ll ask a few of them how much they remember, and I’m betting it won’t be much.

Anyway, to give you an idea of how much understanding there was I’m going to share my favourite moment. When he/they was going through the acronym he asked what each letter stood for. When we got to ‘B’ an audience member’s hand shot up and when picked answered ‘barbecue’.

Barbecue! Fantastic! Still, that’s a deeper understanding of the issues than many TRAs display.

Thanks for updating! Yes seems like it was totally mis-pitched, in that case. Could've been an opportunity to ask a few naive questions that you anticipate could be asked...

Please ask if the word "rapist" is a gender or a word that descibes someone who has comitted a serious crime against women.

When they bring up the suicide rates of Trans people, be sure to ask whether or not these rates go down or up after they transition.

Ugh those poor teens.

Well today was the day, and it was nowhere near as bad as I’d feared.

What a complete fiasco. And although it was great you were concerned must have thought why bother if the result of the talk was the audience fell asleep!

But seriously, given the description of your work place who was responsible for making this totally inappropriate talk booking.

Are you able to give feedback on that. In a nice, just want to be helpful, unchallenging way. ie perhaps next time we book training we need to think if it will be of any interest to the intended audience and pitched at the right level.

But thanks for updating us.

Jaysus.

Any decent trainer &/or training organisation is able to adapt their training materials/content & style to meet the needs of the people they’re training. This lot very clearly made no effort to do even when it must have been obvious none of it was landing.

Given they almost certainly will encounter GenderWoo there is a degree to which a training like this could be helpful to reduce potential harm/distress to the adults who use (?live in) the facility where @RandySavage works. It would need to be developed with the needs & abilities of those service users in mind though; not just using the same format & content used elsewhere. Much as I disagree with the agenda they’re pushing, how dare they not take the time to prepare & deliver a training that met the needs of this particular group if they (presumably) bid for a contract & were paid to do so! Even if they weren’t paid it’s horrendously ableist.

As for telling a[n actually] vulnerable group “deadnaming” causes harm… absolutely staggering. The potential for that to be misunderstood by this group is enormous: if they remember the term only they may think they’re not allowed to talk about dead loved ones for some reason. They may become confused about the use of nicknames & full names. If someone they know as “Miss/Dr Surname” gets married & changes their surname they will think they have caused harm (probably interpreted as physical damage/pain of some kind) if they slip up & use the old name. The only plus is that, as Randy said, the delivery of the training was such that it’s unlikely any of them will remember it.

Thanks for the report back. Complaining about it being totally unsuitable is obviously a double-edged sword as you don’t want the poor sods to have to sit through yet more GenderWoo; but equally, if they’re being paid for it, they’ve utterly failed to deliver. And if they got the contract with any kind of claim of delivering a tailored service, would that not be fraud?

When we got to ‘B’ an audience member’s hand shot up and when picked answered ‘barbecue’.

Oh my. The speaker really had no clue, did they? The whole thing sounds completely pointless.

There were two moments that annoyed me:
first he/they described bisexual people as being ‘attracted to two genders’. I wanted to shout out “it’s right there in the word - biSEXual!”
The second was when he/they said that ‘deadnaming’ caused great harm. Again, I wanted to shout “The people you’re talking to have ACTUAL fucking problems: physical and mental disabilities, shortened lifespans, limited opportunities and choices, communication issues, incontinence, uncertain futures … but of course that pales when compared to deadnaming, eh?”

On Youtube shorts a person called Alexis pops up. Alexis is a trans woman but from a different mold.

Actually funny and not at all precious. And I will do the courtesy of calling her she.

Anyway she went to pick up her nephew from school. The teacher asked nephew if he knew who was collecting him and he pointed at Alexis and said, "there, my uncle Deadname".

Alexis responded by laughing and making a short clip for YouTube. Alexis didn't reprimand her nephew, curl up in a ball of scream at a camera.