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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Lurking Merkins - Volume Two of Under the Duvet of Darkness

314 replies

Boiledbeetle · 04/11/2023 08:00

"Under the Duvet of Darkness Volume Two Lurking Merkins" is now live on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0CMJZ43VZ

This a thread about a book about a thread about a book about a thread! (I think I’ve got the correct number of books and threads in there)

There are over 160 poems written by over 40 different Mumsnet usernames contained within its 208 pages.

There are also 12 Lurking Merkin poems lurking throughout the book!

It can take a few days for it to become fully searchable so the link below will take you straight to it:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0CMJZ43VZ

It's available worldwide so if anyone needs the link for a site other than the UK let me know and I can give you the link to the relevant Amazon site.

IMPORTANT BIT:

Whilst written entirely by Mumsnet users this book is not, I repeat NOT, published with Mumsnet’s express permission or co-operation.

It is published with the express permission and co-operation of the individual writers themselves.

Can anyone who tweets about it link directly to the book on Amazon or my Twitter profile:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0CMJZ43VZ
or
https://twitter.com/TheBoiledbeetle

rather than to this MN thread.

Thank you everyone who let me use their poems, without you there would be no book!

Boiledbeetle XX

Lurking Merkins - Volume Two of Under the Duvet of Darkness
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Thread gallery
98
ArcaneWireless · 14/11/2023 14:43

My books came at the weekend 😊

Better late than never!

If you want them, my vital statistics are short, fat and round. Says it all.

I hope the goddess of the merkin loves it all. There are some crackers in there.

Congratulations all. Splendid stuff. 🥰

Boiledbeetle · 15/11/2023 08:55

Finally feeling slightly more human and less death warmed up so thought I'd look at the stats

This month so far we have sold

13 vol 1
47 vol 2
Money raised for FWS £249.09

The TOTAL figures since this all started back at the beginning of April:

496 vol 1
47 vol 2

TOTAL Money raised for FWS £1521.41

Lurking Merkins - Volume Two of Under the Duvet of Darkness
Lurking Merkins - Volume Two of Under the Duvet of Darkness
Lurking Merkins - Volume Two of Under the Duvet of Darkness
Lurking Merkins - Volume Two of Under the Duvet of Darkness
Lurking Merkins - Volume Two of Under the Duvet of Darkness
OP posts:
Boiledbeetle · 15/11/2023 08:56

ArcaneWireless · 14/11/2023 14:43

My books came at the weekend 😊

Better late than never!

If you want them, my vital statistics are short, fat and round. Says it all.

I hope the goddess of the merkin loves it all. There are some crackers in there.

Congratulations all. Splendid stuff. 🥰

Can't wait to hear what your mother thinks! And whether she works out who you are this time!

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JackieQueen · 15/11/2023 15:52

Ordered my copy yesterday and came home from the shops to find it in my porch today! Sooo looking forward to a good read! 💝

Boiledbeetle · 15/11/2023 16:17

JackieQueen · 15/11/2023 15:52

Ordered my copy yesterday and came home from the shops to find it in my porch today! Sooo looking forward to a good read! 💝

Roger Federer Love GIF by Tennis TV

Yay! Enjoy!

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Boiledbeetle · 16/11/2023 08:12

Picked up some more sales yesterday.

It could however do with some more reviews if anyone gets the chance 💋

Lurking Merkins - Volume Two of Under the Duvet of Darkness
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Waitwhat23 · 16/11/2023 09:44

Boiledbeetle · 16/11/2023 08:12

Picked up some more sales yesterday.

It could however do with some more reviews if anyone gets the chance 💋

My review has finally been added

Boiledbeetle · 16/11/2023 09:52

Waitwhat23 · 16/11/2023 09:44

My review has finally been added

Read Harry Potter GIF

Thank you you wonderful woman you. I wonder why they took so long with it? Maybe they were reading the book to check how true it was!

OP posts:
IcakethereforeIam · 16/11/2023 22:07

I've just posted my review. I got a message to say there might be a delay before it's posted. I think that's probably something everyone gets automatically.

I've just realised, I can't remember doing the star thing 😮The Amazon page kept behaving really weirdly (randomly changing size) which distracted me. I'm worried now.

TessoftheDurbeyfields · 16/11/2023 22:38

Thanks for the reminder - I've posted a review too

IcakethereforeIam · 16/11/2023 22:53

My review is up with the requisite number of stars, phew!

Boiledbeetle · 16/11/2023 23:11

You wonderful lovely women there's 7 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 reviews now 😍 with some very nice words!

Lurking Merkins - Volume Two of Under the Duvet of Darkness
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Boiledbeetle · 19/11/2023 10:28

Now I'm not saying there ever will be, but just in case there is another one I'm just posting this from another thread as in five years time I may get back the urge to do another one and wouldn't have a clue where to find it!

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · Yesterday 05:25

Saudi style.

Silencing women,
Saudi Style,
The police were called,
Saudi Style
Ban from the match,
Saudi Style,
The woman can’t come,
Saudi Style,
One less woman,
Saudi trial.
One by one.
Saudi vile.
@Boiledbeetle

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4941437-saudi-owned-newcastle-united-suspends-membership-of-womens-rights-activist?reply=130811796&utm_campaign=reply&utm_medium=share

Saudi owned Newcastle United suspends membership of women's rights activist | Mumsnet

A gender-critical Newcastle United fan says the club have suspended her membership because police investigated her for tweeting that “trans women are...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4941437-saudi-owned-newcastle-united-suspends-membership-of-womens-rights-activist?reply=130811796

OP posts:
Boiledbeetle · 19/11/2023 10:29

https://twitter.com/TheBoiledbeetle/status/1726168238017630712?t=ao8NSWxxDMHI0ZRVN0Js7Q&s=19

Let's see if this generates some more sales.

Lurking Merkins - Volume Two of Under the Duvet of Darkness
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howdoesatoastermaketoast · 19/11/2023 21:24

For Amy

“I stand with Amy Hamm” is trending, p'raps at last the lie is ending.
She's the nurse they think so horrid, (though far from clear on what she did).
They say she must be ruled unfit, cannot her job perform if it
Is not the case that she agrees, a man can change sex if he please.

There are two points of view it seems, the world's dividing into teams.
Both sides are sure, it’s fair to say. T’the others true outright dismay.
Amy they say must be unfit, cannot her job perform if it
Is not the case that she agrees, a man can change sex if he please.

It’s difficult to understand why p’ple would insist she’s banned
And cannot practise her career, but ‘tis the case they make it clear.
Amy they say must be unfit, cannot her job perform if it
Is not the case that she'll agree, people are what they wish to be.

They do not ask if up is down , they do not ask if red is brown,
they do not ask if water’s wet , but no less crazy does it get.
Amy is asked in many ways, same question in a diff’rent phrase.
It is the case do you agree, people are what they wish to be?

Under oath she's kindly stated, firmly, gently, but clearly said;
a male person, a good nurse knows, stays male. That's just how it goes.
Amy is asked in many ways, same question in a diff’rent phrase.
Just which men will you agree become women and to what degree?

So under oath she plainly swears, women exist and people care.
There are two types of human being, no matter what a man finds freeing.
They say a nurse cannot perform, unless agreeing sex is worn.
Just which men will you agree become women and to what degree?

It may still be that sex is real, doesn't matter it's how you feel.
Identity is all there is, so you adjust whatever his.
They say a nurse cannot perform, unless agreeing sex is worn.
Would she perhaps kindly agree, a woman's not anatomy.

Women's a word we've redefined and Amy gets it wrong you’ll find.
She keeps keeping on quite rudely, speaking facts so very crudely.
They say she's too unkind, a stress, cannot her job perform unless...
would she perhaps kindly agree, a woman's not anatomy.

It's a sense anyone can claim, accessories and acts and fame.
Procedures that're undertaken, unwanted sex can be shaken.
They say she's too unkind, a stress, cannot her job perform unless...
she will declare it true indeed, that woman's not a word we need.

To mean anything specific, meaningless words are terrific.
It seems they have not realised, bodies are not homogenised.
So sure and certain they are right, they fight a nurse with all their might
so she'll declare it true indeed, that woman's not a word we need.

Amy's through and cannot bear it, had enough and dares to share it.
Thinks for herself and refuses, to lie, deny and so chooses
to risk it all defending truth, to risk it all defending youth.
It is the case she will not lie, maintains that women signify.

Woman is a word we still need, to understand the girls who bleed.
Not all bodies are just the same, it doesn't matter what you claim.
A nurse must know her patients sex, reality is not pretext.
A nurse cannot her job perform, if we all forget this norm.

howdoesatoastermaketoast (Nov. 2023)

IcakethereforeIam · 19/11/2023 21:35

@howdoesatoastermaketoast can I post this on the Amy Hamm thread?

howdoesatoastermaketoast · 19/11/2023 21:38

yeah @IcakethereforeIam I think that that's a nice idea

IcakethereforeIam · 19/11/2023 21:41

@howdoesatoastermaketoast thank you!

howdoesatoastermaketoast · 19/11/2023 21:44

np 🍻

Boiledbeetle · 19/11/2023 23:23
Greys Anatomy Applause GIF by ABC Network

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4583516-amy-hamm-canadian-nurse-being-disciplined-for-being-gc

@howdoesatoastermaketoast that's a hell of a poem!

OP posts:
Boiledbeetle · 01/12/2023 11:08

I have had my head up my arse doing an ombudsman complaint for the last two weeks, which is finallllllllly finished. ( I totally understand now why people don't tend to complain to the Ombudsman, its soul sucking!) so will admit I have neglected everything else, including pushing a book. So given that, the figures aren't too bad

60 UDTOD volume 2 = £274.30
17 UTDOD volume 1 = £43.57 + 17 x 15p = £46.12

Total = £320.42

Plus, we finally hit 500 sales of the first volume through Amazon! And have raised over £1500 since April! (I'm not about to add up all the extra 15p's to see what the actual total is though!)

Lurking Merkins - Volume Two of Under the Duvet of Darkness
Lurking Merkins - Volume Two of Under the Duvet of Darkness
Lurking Merkins - Volume Two of Under the Duvet of Darkness
Lurking Merkins - Volume Two of Under the Duvet of Darkness
Lurking Merkins - Volume Two of Under the Duvet of Darkness
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AmaryllisNightAndDay · 01/12/2023 12:14

Thank you @Boiledbeetle !

IcakethereforeIam · 01/12/2023 12:20

Glad you've managed to get through the ombudsman complaintFlowers@Boiledbeetle

Do you want more extra poems for the ebook of vol.2? I'm thinking of taking a crack at a verse to go with the chorus of the Athenry pastiche I did.

Villagetoraiseachild · 01/12/2023 12:23

Aw, hi Boiled, was starting to feel a bit concerned!
But tracked you down in your Lurking section.
Was going to start a thread,
Is Beetle ok?
But dont know how to ....
Also sorry you have been poorly....
Thanks for the NUFC poem.
FC might stand for something else these days, regarding their egregious behaviour on this issue.

Boiledbeetle · 01/12/2023 14:33

I am aware of my lack of mumsnetting of late! I was literally focused on the complaint to the Ombudsman as there was so much to it! But my anal retentative qualities paid off and I've just discovered they are taking on the complaint! Now I just have to wait 4-5 months for the case to be assigned to a caseworker! Don't you just love how slow justice is!!!!!!!

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