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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Shush everyone, man talking...

68 replies

Marygoesround · 09/10/2023 15:19

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-66779460

Man talking about how difficult parenting is. Of course men should be encouraged to talk about parenting experience, but headline news wtf - do the BBC know that women have been doing this for thousands of years with not as much a nod. But, stand aside ladies, here's a man who has used a woman's body as a surrogate, removed the children from the mother they'll never know and we all have to marvel at how he's coped with sleepless night. Yeah, ok.

Adam Kay

Adam Kay: Social media hides reality of parenthood, says writer and comedian

"I'm the idiot who failed to realise the realities," says the author of This is Going to Hurt.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-66779460

OP posts:
CharlieBigPotatoes1 · 09/10/2023 15:24

It’s part of his show, who are you to say what he can and can’t talk about? 🤷🏼‍♀️

EdithStourton · 09/10/2023 15:36

CharlieBigPotatoes1 · 09/10/2023 15:24

It’s part of his show, who are you to say what he can and can’t talk about? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Because if women talk about it, we're mumsy and boring, but if a man talks about it, it's BBC News-worthy.

Lottapianos · 09/10/2023 15:41

'Because if women talk about it, we're mumsy and boring, but if a man talks about it, it's BBC News-worthy.'

Exactly. God he's an eejit. Anyone who gets their parenting expectations set by Instagram needs to give themselves a good shake

Tinysoxxx · 09/10/2023 15:43

Tbf it is quite funny that he thought having two babies four months apart in age would be easily manageable with a job too.

mewkins · 09/10/2023 16:03

I listened to his Desert Island Discs and wondered why the hell would he choose to have to babies a few months apart. He seems surprised that it's knackering. Maybe he thought that parents were just exaggerating and he'd do a much better job of it.

eurochick · 09/10/2023 16:08

mewkins · 09/10/2023 16:03

I listened to his Desert Island Discs and wondered why the hell would he choose to have to babies a few months apart. He seems surprised that it's knackering. Maybe he thought that parents were just exaggerating and he'd do a much better job of it.

I think this hits the nail on the head. I'm sure he thought us weak women were not up to the job and he could show us all how parenting should be done....

teawamutu · 09/10/2023 16:34

CharlieBigPotatoes1 · 09/10/2023 15:24

It’s part of his show, who are you to say what he can and can’t talk about? 🤷🏼‍♀️

He's perfectly free to talk about it.

And I'm entitled to consider his words, the strong vein of misogyny in his written work, and the fact he's commissioned and bought two human beings - and conclude he's a massive twat.

I do so conclude.

KitchenDancefloor · 09/10/2023 16:40

Enraging.

I'm glad I'm alone in the house reading that article because I was swearing at the screen.

I enjoyed the first couple of chapters of his first book but once I got that first whiff of misogyny it turned into a stronger and stronger stench. Now I can't stand the man and it is like menergy bingo every time he is interviewed.

Stephannee · 09/10/2023 16:47

Was he saying anything offensive or hateful?

If not, then what's the issue?

teawamutu · 09/10/2023 16:53

Stephannee · 09/10/2023 16:47

Was he saying anything offensive or hateful?

If not, then what's the issue?

I find renting an impoverished woman's body in order to deprive the baby of its mother at birth, and disregarding the risks to both because fuck them, it's what I want incredibly self-centred and offensive.

Note: unlike TRAs, I wouldn't stop him saying it.

AsTreesWalking · 09/10/2023 17:06

Actually, I find quite a lot of that piece offensive. Not least that having a baby
"disrupts your life more than anything else you can possibly imagine."
Seriously? This is a surprise? To someone who has delivered babies? I suppose any birth injury doesn't count as 'disruption'.
And personally, the disruption of my children was a joyful part of our lives.
Unlike my husband's Parkinson's which has totally wrecked them.

Froodwithatowel · 09/10/2023 17:11

Stephannee · 09/10/2023 16:47

Was he saying anything offensive or hateful?

If not, then what's the issue?

Oh the wide eyed innocence on every thread.....

The man's misogyny is in everything he's written.

menopausalmare · 09/10/2023 17:14

At least he gets to parent without stress incontinence, a stitched perineum, engorged breasts and constipation.
Because that has gotta hurt.

Marygoesround · 09/10/2023 17:21

Charliebigpotatoes1 - did you miss the bit where I said 'of course men should be encouraged to talk about parenting experience' or did you read the first line, make an ill informed judgement and assume the world needed to hear it?

You just outed yourself. I suggest you concentrate on tending to those big potatoes and leave discussion to those who can both read and form nuanced opinion. Tks

OP posts:
PTSDBarbiegirl · 09/10/2023 17:56

Kay spouts, "I think if you're on Instagram, it's quite possible to have parenthood slightly mis-sold to you," he says....

REALLY? I Mean FUCKING REALLY??? Read the world around you twat head.
It's more likely that the world of baby trafficking and human grow bag rental was slightly misunderstood by Kay et al when they procured 2 at the same time. Can't bear his smug face. Presumably a Christmas book due about it all, "This DID hurt" (but only the procured children and rented mothers who carried them.

SquirrelSoShiny · 09/10/2023 17:59

Yes I've really gone off him and that interview was yet another nail in the coffin.

Millybob · 09/10/2023 18:04

On the plus side, I guess the medical profession is better off without him.

FrancescaContini · 09/10/2023 18:30

menopausalmare · 09/10/2023 17:14

At least he gets to parent without stress incontinence, a stitched perineum, engorged breasts and constipation.
Because that has gotta hurt.

Not to mention jumping straight into the whole shebang having given birth and having had no sleep for 72 hours.

teawamutu · 09/10/2023 18:55

I have a doctor relative who thinks AK is a complete tosser. Maintains his story arc is basically 'man not cut out to be doctor stops being doctor and then whines about it being everyone else's fault'.

mewkins · 09/10/2023 18:56

I guess if you're out of a profession for over a decade you need to find something else to provide comic material....

pronounsbundlebundle · 09/10/2023 19:08

Oh he's such a misogynistic bell end. Is it wrong to hope he has children who don't sleep through the night until they're 5 or 6?!!!

ILikeDungs · 09/10/2023 19:36

menopausalmare · 09/10/2023 17:14

At least he gets to parent without stress incontinence, a stitched perineum, engorged breasts and constipation.
Because that has gotta hurt.

THIS. He entered 'parenthood' with an intact body that had not been struggling to sleep through the night for months, getting up for a wee every two hours.

And those poor babies, who through no accident but through design, will never know their Mums.

Toseland · 09/10/2023 19:37

I'm quite embarrassed for him - what an idiot - there's a reason children have mothers and mothers through their trials are stronger than he has ever or can ever imagine.
I really hope his kids have wild and terrible twos and threes!
I really didn't like this bit either: "One thing that delights him is adding in "sneaky schoolwork, from history to every part of science", so children learn without realising it."
Oh and buying humans is dealing in slavery you selfish man.

Terfosaurus · 09/10/2023 19:43

I remember being a new mum and commenting that I hadn't really realised how exhausting it would be. The response I got was "you should have considered that before you got yourself pregnant"
But of course when it's a man who finds it hard it's all sympathy for the poor wee soul.

And if I had "got myself pregnant" I probably could have made a lot of money! As it is I did it the bog standard way and the baby's dad was involved.

CohensD · 09/10/2023 20:03

"And that's really stuck with me - like you wouldn't change waking up at night? You wouldn't change the nappies? You wouldn't change not going out at night?
"So l dispute 'I wouldn't change a thing'. There's loads that I would change," he laughs.

This is a key bit, for me. There's a fundamental "pick and choose" element to the very way he's viewing it. Like it's a set of separable aspects. The thing is, when you've carried and birthed, and your entire body is intrinsically related to the fact of parenthood, it just... IS. It's fucking difficult, yes. But you and your baby and the fact of parenthood are completely inseparable. It's just different. He's talking about a different thing than most women are. Why it's so much more noteworthy - fuck knows....