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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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FrancescaContini · 13/08/2023 01:51

That makes for really disturbing reading.

PatatiPatatras · 13/08/2023 04:15

Staying blue.

drhf · 13/08/2023 06:39

What the article describes is not a crime.

Sexual Offences Act 2003 (England and Wales):

11. Engaging in sexual activity in the presence of a child

(1)A person aged 18 or over (A) commits an offence if—

(a)he intentionally engages in an activity,

(b)the activity is sexual,

(c)for the purpose of obtaining sexual gratification, he engages in it—

(i)when another person (B) is present or is in a place from which A can be observed, and

(ii)knowing or believing that B is aware, or intending that B should be aware, that he is engaging in it, and

(d)either—

(i)B is under 16 and A does not reasonably believe that B is 16 or over, or

(ii)B is under 13.

(2)A person guilty of an offence under this section is liable—

(a)on summary conviction, to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 6 months or a fine not exceeding the statutory maximum or both;

(b)on conviction on indictment, to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 10 years.

Adults are guilty of an offence only if they believe the child is “aware” and if the sex is had in the presence of the child (rather than without the child present) for sexual gratification. Adults arguing they believed the child was not aware do not need to show their belief was reasonable, only that it was their belief.

The article suggests that the parents believe their child sleeps through when they have sex, and also that the presence of the child is because he is in the room permanently for co-sleeping.

Co-sleeping parents who have sex are not generally breaking the law.

Clymene · 13/08/2023 07:12

An eight year old is not a baby. They are perfectly able to pretend to be asleep while daddy is going down on mummy.

They can have sex somewhere else. Having sex in a room with a child is abusive, whether or not it's illegal.

And his 'joke' about the vibrator acting as white noise makes me think he gets off on the thrill of the child potentially waking up. Like a danger wank.

Crumbcatcher · 13/08/2023 07:26

That's revolting. It reads as if they are getting off on informing everyone of this, and of course there are people who will get their kicks from reading it. Why has this been published?

loislovesstewie · 13/08/2023 07:27

I'm not sure if it's my age or just that I have got very cynical over the years , but I rarely read anything on the Guardian website now. This really is the pits. it's lazy parenting at it's worst;or is it abusive in that they enjoy the situation? Unless they have no other rooms , the child should surely have his own room and they should be having sex away from him. And the Guardian should have thought about what they are printing.
I want to tell the parents to be adults and the Guardian should think about the message they are sending out.

RavingStone · 13/08/2023 08:35

Yuck. This happened to a friend of mine. She moved out at 16 and as an adult, she's very low contact with her parents. Unsurprisingly, the lack of appropriate parental boundaries showed up in other behaviours too.

Woman2023 · 13/08/2023 08:49

That whole column is gross. I think it's relevant that she's suffered abuse in the past because I think she's still being manipulated by him and not protecting her child in this situation.

Boiledbeetle · 13/08/2023 08:54

drhf · 13/08/2023 06:39

What the article describes is not a crime.

Sexual Offences Act 2003 (England and Wales):

11. Engaging in sexual activity in the presence of a child

(1)A person aged 18 or over (A) commits an offence if—

(a)he intentionally engages in an activity,

(b)the activity is sexual,

(c)for the purpose of obtaining sexual gratification, he engages in it—

(i)when another person (B) is present or is in a place from which A can be observed, and

(ii)knowing or believing that B is aware, or intending that B should be aware, that he is engaging in it, and

(d)either—

(i)B is under 16 and A does not reasonably believe that B is 16 or over, or

(ii)B is under 13.

(2)A person guilty of an offence under this section is liable—

(a)on summary conviction, to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 6 months or a fine not exceeding the statutory maximum or both;

(b)on conviction on indictment, to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 10 years.

Adults are guilty of an offence only if they believe the child is “aware” and if the sex is had in the presence of the child (rather than without the child present) for sexual gratification. Adults arguing they believed the child was not aware do not need to show their belief was reasonable, only that it was their belief.

The article suggests that the parents believe their child sleeps through when they have sex, and also that the presence of the child is because he is in the room permanently for co-sleeping.

Co-sleeping parents who have sex are not generally breaking the law.

Stupidity tends not to be a defence that stands up in court. And trying to convince a judge that you believed this child slept like the dead every time you decided to fuck in their presence would be difficult, but the vibrator white noise comment indicates to me they know exactly what they are doing.

There are plenty of other places and times they could shag each others brains out that didn't involve having sex in the same room as their eight year old.

MotherEarthisaTerf · 13/08/2023 09:53

Woman2023 · 13/08/2023 08:49

That whole column is gross. I think it's relevant that she's suffered abuse in the past because I think she's still being manipulated by him and not protecting her child in this situation.

Yes - there was an undertone of something I couldn't quite pinpoint but that's it.

What the fuck is that breastfeeding clip? Holy fucking shit Envy Nonce rag indeed.

StarlightLady · 13/08/2023 09:58

I'm going to buck the trend here. Plenty of parents go on holiday and share an hotel room with a child too youg to have a room of their own. So, sometimes, when a child is asleep, sex may happen.

HoisttheMainSail · 13/08/2023 10:12

StarlightLady · 13/08/2023 09:58

I'm going to buck the trend here. Plenty of parents go on holiday and share an hotel room with a child too youg to have a room of their own. So, sometimes, when a child is asleep, sex may happen.

Well, it shouldn’t.

Especially when a child is 8.

You have a choice as parents to put your child’s welfare before your sexual desires. It’s a no brainier.

Datun · 13/08/2023 10:15

Using a vibrator on your wife and hoping it may help your child stay sleeping, or get to sleep, doesn't indicate they're convinced he IS fast asleep.

IAmMerfacus · 13/08/2023 10:28

StarlightLady · 13/08/2023 09:58

I'm going to buck the trend here. Plenty of parents go on holiday and share an hotel room with a child too youg to have a room of their own. So, sometimes, when a child is asleep, sex may happen.

May happen? What by accident?

FrancescaContini · 13/08/2023 10:48

Datun · 13/08/2023 10:15

Using a vibrator on your wife and hoping it may help your child stay sleeping, or get to sleep, doesn't indicate they're convinced he IS fast asleep.

I don’t know why the Guardian is publishing this soft porn shite / repulsive story here for readers who are titillated by the notion that a child is present in the room while adults have sex.

Has Alastair Campbell fallen on hard times and reverted to his former job? There’s no way these columns are written by “normal” readers. The column a few weeks ago about the sex life of a pair of 75-year-olds (at it every single morning for a couple of hours, apparently, and in all sorts of positions) was actually quite entertaining. But this column here is really very disturbing.

Alcemeg · 13/08/2023 10:54

Often I will bite Sam a little, and scratch his skin, and that builds a kind of crackling electricity between us.
🤔

Grammarnut · 13/08/2023 10:59

Charley50 · 12/08/2023 20:42

That's really disturbing. Why can't they have sex in another room? Or when their child is at a hobby or something? And that they both make a point of mentioning it is weird.

Why doesn't their eight year old son have his own bedroom? They are not living in a medieval hall house with a sleeping platform and the cows in the byre below. Honestly.

Boiledbeetle · 13/08/2023 11:18

StarlightLady · 13/08/2023 09:58

I'm going to buck the trend here. Plenty of parents go on holiday and share an hotel room with a child too youg to have a room of their own. So, sometimes, when a child is asleep, sex may happen.

And you can't go in the bathroom for five minutes and do it in there?

ResisterRex · 13/08/2023 11:21

StarlightLady · 13/08/2023 09:58

I'm going to buck the trend here. Plenty of parents go on holiday and share an hotel room with a child too youg to have a room of their own. So, sometimes, when a child is asleep, sex may happen.

Or just wait until you're back? Honestly people going on as though you might die if you don't have sex this instant sound like MRAs. It's not "bucking the trend". It's child abuse. Just don't do it and the sky won't fall in, I promise.

YouJustDoYou · 13/08/2023 11:24

My mum laughed when she was wasted once and I asked her to please just stop with my step dad because we (my little brother and I) were trying to sleep and we couldn't sleep through their sex noises. They carried on with it all in the dark (we were in a hotel), so got my brother and all our duvets etc and moved us into the bathroom. I made him a little bed in the bathtub and I slept on the floor.

YouJustDoYou · 13/08/2023 11:24

ResisterRex · 13/08/2023 11:21

Or just wait until you're back? Honestly people going on as though you might die if you don't have sex this instant sound like MRAs. It's not "bucking the trend". It's child abuse. Just don't do it and the sky won't fall in, I promise.

Show quote history

Right?

Ereshkigalangcleg · 13/08/2023 11:53

Why is the poor 8 year old kid on a mattress on the floor, can't he at least have a bed?

They don't explicitly say they are in the same room as child

Yes, they do.

MotherEarthisaTerf · 13/08/2023 11:54

YouJustDoYou · 13/08/2023 11:24

My mum laughed when she was wasted once and I asked her to please just stop with my step dad because we (my little brother and I) were trying to sleep and we couldn't sleep through their sex noises. They carried on with it all in the dark (we were in a hotel), so got my brother and all our duvets etc and moved us into the bathroom. I made him a little bed in the bathtub and I slept on the floor.

I'm so sorry Sad

AbsoluteYawns · 13/08/2023 11:59

JFC what is this!
How the hell do they publish something like that. I'm just reading the comments here, can't bring myself to look. I'll be traumatised. The bit about breastfeeding omg!

AbsoluteYawns · 13/08/2023 12:02

StarlightLady · 13/08/2023 09:58

I'm going to buck the trend here. Plenty of parents go on holiday and share an hotel room with a child too youg to have a room of their own. So, sometimes, when a child is asleep, sex may happen.

This is sick.
You can't resist for the sake of not harming your child?! Ffs

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