I think the difficulty comes, where gender believers who need their therapist to be a believer don't accept that it IS a belief. They come from a position that gender is a fact, so the therapist seeing it as a belief, which can be held or not, is perceived as a threat. It triggers them, it makes them feel unsafe, it's hateful.
Yes, this would definitely be a stalemate. I guess it depends on what the person's goals are for therapy. If they want to explore how they feel when people look at them ("I am constantly worrying about whether I pass [as the opposite sex] or not"), a therapist who will affirm the belief could be a good fit for them. However, if their goal is to understand their dysphoria, I can't think of any scenario where a therapist who shares the same belief in gender identity is a good idea.
An truly open exploration would suggest that the therapist would explore the meaning of pronouns and name changes for the client and try to get to the heart of the complex that was demanding thse changes, not just affirm them.
The gender affirming therapist on the otherhand simply becomes an enabler; a confirmer; a necessary gateway to drugs and to affirmative surgery - in the same way a GP acts as a gatekeeepr to a consultant specialist or to a prescription for medication...The therapist's job is not to confirm the clients belief system, but to help them explore it and see what function it is performing for them. Most therapist ( you would assume) would consider a belief system that led to unnecessary drugs or to damaging surgery, or to affirming an already fragile identity would not be a positive or healthy one.
Totally agree. So I think it comes down to this question of fundamentalism.
Could a therapist (who believes that they have their own gender identity and broadly thinks that "trans people are who they say they are") help someone to unpick their dysphoria with their body? I imagine that a Muslim therapist could help another Muslim unpick themselves from Islamic fundamentalism. Even though both of them share the same belief in Allah and the Koran, there is a vast difference between being an every day peace loving Muslim and a fundamentalist. So is gender "all in"? There is no layer that isn't fundamentalist?
@NotHavingIt . The only therapist that should be near my daughter (she actually stopped therapy, because she found it boring) is one who would unpick the pronoun question neutrally. And to have that neutrality, it may only be possible to do this if you don't have a gender identity belief. Luckily my daughter wasn't pushing her belief hard when she started the therapy and she hadn't reached any conclusion about her gender. She was still saying "I don't know" when asked her pronouns, for example. But for anyone who has already made a decision, therapy is pointless if the goal is to understand the dysphoria and the exploration of the belief is completely off the table. Having a belief that compels someone to change their own body is sort of on par with religious fundamentalism where that belief compels someone to harm others (e.g. suicide attacks). Obviously not the same thing but they are both examples of where someone's belief has led to an extreme outcome. The major difference with dysphoria on this one is that the person is changing their own body, not harming others. So it's possibly only a "gender critical" therapist who could pick through the nuances of that with sufficient neutrality. Similar to anorexia as you say. However, where it differs from anorexia is that there will be some cases where the client changing their body is the right outcome. But this would only be after sufficient neutral exploration. This helps explain why it's such a specialist area of therapeutic care as it's very easy to upset that balance. And also why the influence of Mermaids etc on that delicate balance is so catastrophic. Just as Hannah Barnes found in her book.